


Conquer Yourself

by Cloakseeker



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-03 04:40:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 72,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5277026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloakseeker/pseuds/Cloakseeker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent Series. AU. Tris is a mountaineer and after a tragic event on Everest she returns home to stay put. She meets this charming boy that intrigues her enough for her to open up to him. The story follows both of them as they discover who they are and who they are together. Will their love prevail or is it just a teenage infatuation? Read and find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coming home

Tris' POV

I run into the open arms of Matt, my maternal cousin, and hug him tightly. For the past four days I kept it together, but I can't hold it back anymore. I finally break down and cry as hard as I can, letting the tears of sorrow fall freely. He holds me close and lets me cry. We walk to the small café inside the Kathmandu airport. Our flight back to the States is in three hours and I'm grateful I'm going back home.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Matt asks.

"No" I say and look down into my cup. I know that he wants me to talk, but I just can't. Everything is just so recent and painful and I just can't bring myself to say the words out loud. That would make them true and I can't face the truth yet.

"Your parents are pissed, especially since I had to call them and tell them that I was flying here to pick you up" he says. I look up at him and frown.

"I'm in trouble" I say.

"No" he says and I look at him surprised. "You are in a shit load of a shit load of trouble. What were you thinking, Bee?"

"I was thinking this is a great opportunity" I say a little defensive, but then shrink back in my seat. It was a great opportunity and even though worst case scenario happened, well second to worst, I don't regret it. I've been doing this for years now and my parents know that.

"Bee, that was stupid. Not only was it dangerous, but you faked your parents signatures to get here. Did no one question you?" he asks.

"No. They all know me and they know that dad would eventually allow me to do anything" I say. "Can we please drop it?" I ask him.

"Alright. Caleb still doesn't know?" he asks after a while.

"No. I mean he knows I occasionally go hiking in the mountains" I start saying and Matt scoffs. "But he doesn't know about all this. Living with mom in Europe for most of the time in the past two years helped keeping it from him."

"You kept it even before Europe. Why didn't you tell him?"

"You know how he is and how he always likes to correct me and scold me like I'm a freaking baby. Besides, even though Caleb and I are siblings I feel closer to you and some of the guys on the team, than I feel to him. We are so different that I sometimes wonder if we're actually related" I sigh.

"Still. You haven't told anyone else. I mean other than your parents, me and my dad no one in the family knows."

"And it's better that way. I have you, and by the way you forgot Uncle Joe, to bug me. I don't need more people to do that."

"Why are you even doing it? And don't say because it's there" he says with a chuckle.

"I don't know. I guess I feel free when I'm up there, on the mountain. I know it's dangerous, but I never felt more connected to the world than when I'm up there. I feel like I can be myself when I climb. And even though reaching the summit is the highlight of every expedition the journey sure is worth the risks."

"God, Bee. When I hear you talk like that I almost want to go back to that life. But you are a pro. No one in human history accomplished so much in such a short time. I mean four out of seven in four years."

"You make it sound so great" I say shyly.

"Bee, it is great. How many people can brag about having climbed four of the highest summits of the world, at fifteen nonetheless" he says smiling.

"I know, but still. I mean other than climbing mountains what can I really do?" I ask.

"Maybe you should just try something new, see if you like it. No one says to give up the mountains, but maybe it's time to make a change, especially now" he says.

"Yeah, maybe."

We finish our coffee in time to hear our flight being announced. We board the plane and wait to fly back home. Home. It seems so foreign to me. I was born and raised in Chicago, but for the past two years mom and I lived in Europe because of her business; she is a fashion designer. Dad and my brother, Caleb, stayed in Chicago, because of dad's job in the government and Caleb started high school. He is one year older than I am, but he skipped a year because he is so freaking smart. These past couple of years I was home schooled and it was great. My schedule was flexible and because mom felt guilty for dragging me all around the world she allowed me to pursue my dreams – which translates in she allowed me to go mountain climbing with strangers, although, over the years they became my friends and even somehow my second family. Going back to Chicago will change that, but for the first time in thirteen years I feel like I wanna take a step back, relax and sit down.

The flight is long so I put my headphones on and listen to a band I recently discovered in London. They are called Royal Blood and are an alternative rock band. My favorite song is Ten Tonne Skeleton. I let the chorus blast, helping me ignore my surroundings. Cut loose like an animal, fired out like a cannon ball, but I waited too long, yeah I waited too long. Got me high from a holy vein, crashed down in a hurricane, love has been here and gone, love has been here and gone. But I waited too long for you only. Love has been here and gone to die slowly. Going under again so don't follow me.

At some point I fall asleep and don't wake up until we reach Los Angeles. We have an hour to wait for our connection and then finally head back home to Chicago. Matt hasn't tried to make me talk again, which I appreciate.

The flight from L.A. to Chicago doesn't seem as long as I would have expected. I have to admit I'm nervous about seeing my parents again, especially after they found out about my expedition. I couldn't talk to them for a few days, because I was still on the mountain and it took me nearly a week to get to Kathmandu and to the hotel. When I finally called they yelled at me and told me that I was irresponsible and that I was grounded. They said that for the next year I won't be allowed to go anywhere near a mountain, especially alone and that for the next school year they will enroll me at the same school Caleb and my two cousins, Shauna and Lynn, go. I'm not particularly happy about that. I was never good at making friends. Well, not my own age. I never found anyone to have anything in common with me. Hell, not even my family has much in common with me. I wanted to protest, but kept my mouth shut. I understand why they are doing this. What I did was wrong and stupid and they don't even know half of it. But I couldn't just tell them over the phone. So, I called Matt to come pick me up, which he thankfully did. I know that I will have to tell them, but for now the only thing I can do is be happy to be back home, safe and sound. Something that others don't have.

The final descent goes smoothly and we soon land. I get up and get my small backpack and head out. Once we are inside the airport I pick up my mountain rucksack and turn to look at Matt who shrugs and then tilts his head to the right. I follow his direction and see my parents. I swallow hard and without realizing it I start to cry. I put my luggage down and run toward my dad who wraps me in his arms. Both my parents are confused about my outburst and ask Matt what is going on. I hear him say that I should be the one to tell them.

"Bumblebee, what's going on?" my dad asks, his voice full of concern.

"I can't, dad. Not yet" I say through tears. I can hear mom say "Let's go home" and we start moving. Dad is still holding me when we get into our car. Mom drives and Matt sits shotgun. I keep crying, while dad is holding me, trying to comfort me.

"Bee, I can't help you, if you don't talk to me" dad says.

"Uncle Andrew, she can't" Matt says.

"But what is going on?" mom asks.

"Bee, can I tell them?" he asks and I nod. I hear him sigh before starting to explain what is going on. When I called him to come pick me up I told him what happened, a part of it anyway. "So, yeah. Six people are dead" he concludes.

"Beatrice" I hear mom say.

"Aunt Natalie, don't. She feels terrible. I've never seen her like this. Give her time, you guys."

"I wanna go home" I say into my dad's chest.

"We're almost home, baby girl."

We finally stop and I drag myself out of the car. I feel exhausted, even though I spend most of the flight sleeping. I can't wait to lie down in my bed and escape this reality for at least a few hours before it all comes back. I want to take my backpack, but dad insists on carrying it upstairs to my room for me. We go inside and just as we enter the house a bunch of people jump up and yell surprise. I look up and recognize a few of them: my brother, my cousins, including my six year old cousin, Hector, who is Shauna's and Lynn's brother, my uncles, Joe and Cameron and my aunt Ellie, as well as a few strangers, who I presume are Caleb's friends. I look around at their smiling faces and look up to see a banner that says "Welcome home". I turn around to look at my parents who look at me apologetically. I can't take this. I run upstairs and slam the door to my room. I walk to my bed and let myself fall down. I cry myself to sleep.


	2. Time to heal

Tobias' POV

"What's going on?" Caleb asks his parents.

"I'm sorry, everyone. Beatrice, uhm, she doesn't feel well" Mrs. Prior says.

"But what is wrong with the poor thing? I thought she would be happy coming back" Shauna's and Lynn's mother asks.

"She is" Mr. Prior says.

"What happened?" Mr. Williams, Caleb's maternal uncle asks.

"Dad, now's not the time" the tall, bulky guy says, who I now realize must be Caleb's other cousin.

"Matt, what is going on?" his father insists.

"Cam, suffice to say it is bad" Mr. Prior says.

"Did something happen to my niece?" Mr. Williams keeps asking. I know I don't know Caleb's sister, but even though they lived apart for so long he always talked nicely about her, even if they act like any other siblings, bickering and fighting. He loves her and was very happy to learn that she would come back home and go to school with us. She is younger so she won't be in any of our classes, but she is the same age as Lynn.

"Dad, please, what happened to my sister?" Caleb asks.

"Beatrice lost a few friends" her mother says vaguely. What's that supposed to mean?

"So, she freaks out because a few shitheads won't talk to her anymore?" Lynn asks.

"Lynn" her mother scolds her.

"It's not like that" Mr. Prior says. "They didn't break up their friendship" he says, still vaguely.

"Uncle Andrew, what the hell does that mean?" Shauna asks exasperated.

"They died" Matt says. Everyone in the room falls silent and stare at him shocked. They died? How? Where was Caleb's sister?

"What?" Shauna, Lynn and a few others ask.

"Let's drop this. Bee needs time to process everything. She needs our help and support. This means no stupid questions. She didn't want to talk about it at all" Matt says.

"I expect everyone to not ask her anything. Beatrice will open up when she's ready" her dad says.

"But Andrew…" Shauna's mom protests.

"No, Ellie. She needs time to heal. I know what I'm talking about. Natalie, I think we need to talk about what will happen next" he says to his wife and she nods.

"We should probably all leave" Shauna's dad says.

"No, please stay and enjoy the food" Mrs. Prior says.

"Cameron, Joe, Matt, please join Natalie and me in the study" Mr. Prior says. "Ellie, will you please take care of our guests?" he asks and she nods.


	3. The real Beatrice

Matt's POV

We follow Uncle Andrew into the study. I'm sure dad and Uncle Joe have questions. Uncle Andrew looks my way and I take it that it's my turn to tell them what I know.

"Do they know where she was?" I ask looking at Uncle Andrew. He shakes his head no. I sigh. "Tris lied. She didn't go trekking through Europe. She went to Nepal."

"Please, don't tell me she tried to climb the big one" my dad says and I nod.

"Has she lost her mind?" Uncle Joe asks.

"Guys, please" Uncle Andrew says.

"Anyway. Tris went to Nepal and forged her parents' signature."

"Didn't anyone check?" Uncle Joe asks.

"Seriously, Joe?" Uncle Andrew asks. "When did this ever matter? Whenever Tris wanted something she got it. Don't worry she'll get punished for this."

"What happened?" dad asks.

"They went through with it" I say.

"Who did?" dad asks.

"Rob, Mikey, Scott, Jeff and Tris and a few tourists Rob picked up. They climbed the mountain on the 10th of May."

"That's when we first found out where she was. Remember?" Aunt Natalie asks. "She called for my birthday and then she told us."

"Anyway. On their way back down they were hit by a violent storm. Six died, including Rob and Mickey" I tell them. At that both dad and Uncle Joe gasp in surprise. They all knew each other and that's why Uncle Andrew didn't freak out when Tris went climbing. She always went with someone she knew, but more importantly someone he trusted would keep her safe. But we all know that the mountain will claim you, if you aren't strong enough.

"I can't believe their gone" dad says. He and Mickey were friends since middle school.

"Poor, Bee. That must have hit her hard. Mickey was like an uncle to her and Rob like a big brother" Uncle Joe says.

"It's hard for her. She cried a lot, but the worst part is she is shutting us out" I say.

"She needs time to heal. Maybe if she stays home as we planned she will find a new routine and help her get passed it" Aunt Natalie says.

"I hope you guys haven't forbid her to climb" Uncle Joe says and both Aunt Natalie and Uncle Andrew look shocked at him.

"Joe, she lied. I won't allow that" Uncle Andrew says.

"I know. But she loves climbing. You can't just take it away from her. I understand she needs to learn to be more responsible, but don't take away what she loves most."

"And what do you suggest?" Uncle Andrew asks.

"Go camping with her. Allow her to go back to the mountains, don't take that away from her" Uncle Joe says.

"I think you are exaggerating, Joe" Aunt Natalie says.

"No, he isn't" dad says. "Imagine someone would take your designs away from you. How would that make you feel?" he asks and Aunt Natalie shoots him a glare.

"That's not the same thing" she says.

"Maybe not for you, but it is. Whether you admit it or not, Bee is a pro. She climbed four summits in four years" dad says.

"I thought she had to climb more mountains to be a pro" Aunt Natalie says.

"That's not what he meant" I say and look at Uncle Andrew who shakes his head. Oh, she doesn't know.

"What are you not telling me?" Aunt Natalie asks.

"Sweetheart, please sit down. There's something you don't know" Uncle Andrew says. She sits down reluctantly and he tells her how their baby girl not only climbed a few dozen mountains, no she climbed four of the highest in the world. He was there when she climbed Mount Kosciuszko in Australia. I was there when she climbed Mount Vinson in Antarctica and a year later Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. If she would have told me she planned on climbing the hardest of them all I would have gone with her. But as it is she didn't. I guess I understand why. While she is her own person when she is with the other climbers she always felt like the baby because either Uncle Andrew or I or dad or even Uncle Joe was there with her. She wanted to prove that she can do this on her own. And she did, which makes me very proud. But the cost was too high.

I watch Aunt Natalie gasp and cry as she learns of her daughter's accomplishments. She is torn between being proud and angry at her daughter.

"She needs to change her lifestyle" she finally says. "I want her to go to high school like any other sixteen year old. I want her to do normal things. She can still go mountain climbing, but only if one of you goes with her. And nothing extreme." At least she understands now how important climbing is for Bee. Uncle Andrew nods and we all leave the study and return to the living room, where most people are still here.

"What's going on?" Caleb asks when we get back, especially after he sees Aunt Natalie's red eyes.

"It's okay, Caleb. Please, let us just enjoy the evening" she says.

"Is Bee alright?" Shauna asks.

"She will be" Uncle Andrew says. "Before we celebrate I want to say something" he says. He goes to his bar and pulls out a bottle of scotch and pours dad, Uncle Joe, me and himself a glass each. Then he gives the bottle to Natalie to pour to others as well, but we know what this is. "It's always further than it looks" he starts saying and the three of us join in, knowing the words. It's the same chant we all say. "It's always taller than it looks. It's always harder than it looks."

"It's not the mountain we conquer, it's ourselves" dad says.

"Getting to the top is optional, getting down is mandatory" I say.

"Mountains are the beginning and the end of all natural scenery" Uncle Joe says.

"Mountains are cathedrals were I practice my religion" Bee says and we all turn around to look at her.

Her eyes are red from all the crying but she stands tall, honoring both mountain and mountaineers. I walk to Aunt Natalie and grab the bottle from her. Uncle Andrew hands me a glass and I pour some scotch in it and hand it to her. Aunt Natalie almost says something, but Uncle Andrew just shakes his head. Bee steps forward and closes the small circle we created. We raise our glasses and in unison say "To legends on the mountains" and dip down our drinks.


	4. I didn't know that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi there. Originally this chapter was very long and as you could read so far written in several POV's. I decided to split the chapter into several. This might happen again.

Tobias' POV

I stare in wonder as does everybody else as the four men and Beatrice, Caleb's sister, recite their lines and drink their drinks. I wonder what this is all about. For the first time I look at the girl. She isn't tall, she is rather petite, unlike Caleb who is tall and muscular. She is blonde and her eyes are bluish, but it's hard to tell, because she had been crying a lot. Her skin is a little tan, but not much. She stands tall, like she belongs between the men and she probably does. Not because they are related, but because they consider her their equal. I know for a fact that she is only fifteen years old. Caleb told us she will be sixteen by the end of this month, the 30th to be exact. But unlike anyone one else here, she received one glass of scotch and she was allowed to drink it. No one said a word.

"I wanted to ask you something" she says, her voice raspy.

"What is it, sweetie?" her father asks.

"I wanna do what mom wants me to do" she says.

"Alright. It is too late to enroll you now, but too soon to do it for next year. How about we'll go to the school on Monday and talk to the principal?" her father asks and she nods. She doesn't smile, she just looks incredibly sad. I have never seen anyone look so sad.

"We also have a surprise for you" her mom says as she approaches her from behind and hugs her. "Your dad and a few other parents decided to run a camp for some of the kids at your brother's school. We think it would be a good idea for you to join" her mom tells her smiling.

"Do I have to?" she asks looking over her shoulder. She doesn't sound like a spoiled brat, but more like it's too hard for her to even think of doing it. Her mother furrows her eyebrows and looks up for a moment to seek help from her husband.

"Honey, you love the outdoors. Don't you wanna spend some time just relaxing outside?" her dad asks her.

"Yeah, Bee, come on. It will be so much more fun if you come. That way I'll have someone there who I actually like and don't have to pretend" Lynn says approaching her cousin. I'm not sure if she just said that to cheer her cousin up or if she means it. She is more of a loner. But then again, I don't like to share much about myself either.

"I don't want to, Lynn. You guys go. Have fun. I'll bore you anyways" she says looking away sad.

"You're kidding?" Matt asks. "From all these kids you are probably the most interesting" he says. I would feel offended, but I'm sure he wants to cheer her up. Besides I don't really care if people think I'm interesting or not.

"Hey, I'm interesting" Shauna says.

"In your dreams" Matt replies.

"I'm head cheerleader" she says pushing her chest out.

"Oh, my, head cheerleader" Matt starts mocking her in a fake, ridiculous British accent.

"Stop it" she says smacking him. We all start laughing at their antics, until my gaze falls on Beatrice. She untangled herself from her mother's embrace and started leaving the room. I watch as her mother tries to stop her, but just as she reaches for her daughter, her husband grabs her wrist and shakes his head. They both look after her as she disappears up the stairs.

"Did she leave already?" Caleb asks as he finally notices his sister's absence.

"Yeah. Don't worry. I'll convince her to come with us. How about you kids go bowling or to a movie?" Mr. Prior asks. "My treat" he says and most of my friends cheer. We leave the house, even though Caleb insisted he wanted to stay, but his mother made him leave. I get in my truck and Caleb sits next to me, while Lynn, Shauna and Zeke sit in the back. We decided to drive to the bowling alley.

"What do you think really happened?" Caleb asks no one in particular.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"Matt said her friends died. What friends? I never heard her talk about any friends."

"Just because she didn't talk about them to you doesn't mean she didn't have any" Lynn says defensively.

"I didn't mean it like that" he says.

"I know, but you have this wrong image of your sister that you started advertising in school" Lynn says.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asks and turns around to face her. It's easy for him to do that since she sits right behind me.

"You see her as the shy ugly duckling" Lynn starts saying.

"I never said she's ugly" Caleb defends.

"Yeah? When did you ever tell her otherwise? Anyways, Bee is more than just your baby sister. She is a champ. Do you have any idea how hard it is to climb a mountain?" Lynn asks.

"Yeah, dad took me, too" he says sarcastic.

"You mean that one time when you kept whining that your sorry ass is freezing? Yeah, that was hilarious. No, you dickhead. It requires a lot of discipline and hard work to be able to climb a mountain. And that, my dear cousin, wasn't a real mountain, a hill, maybe, but not a mountain."

"What do you know?" Caleb asks angry.

"I know that Bee loves mountain climbing and that she is really good at it. She even won tournaments. If you thought your parents got her the mountain gear and the new laptop than you are wrong. She won a shit load of money and bought all that stuff herself."

"I didn't know that" Zeke says. Neither did I. "Why didn't you ever tell me, babe?" he asks Shauna.

"I didn't know. Are you sure, Lynn?" she asks her sister.

"Of course I am. If you guys would have been less mean to Bee and a little more involved in that girl's life you would have known" she says and crosses her arms over her chest, turning her head and looking outside the window. No one says anything for a while, until we get to the bowling alley. We get out of the car and get inside to rent shoes and start our game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would like to know your opinions so far. Please review.


	5. I'm a Pisces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi everyone. I want to thank you all for reading, following and reviewing this story. It has been less than 24h since I posted the first chapter and you guys received it so well. Thank you all. As the story continues I want you to tell me what you think of it. I'm a big sucker for comments, you know. And if you are extra nice to me I will reveal a secret regarding this story. Some might guess it, but I think you will still like it.

Tris' POV

Dad convinced me to join my brother, cousins and their friends and classmates. After I convinced my parents that I didn't want a birthday party we compromised by them agreeing to respect my wish and me agreeing to come here to the school camp.

As dad promised, Monday after I returned we went to Caleb's high school and we got all the information for me to be able to enroll. Fortunately, we could do that even before the current school year wasn't concluded and starting September I will go to school there. Lynn and I will be classmates, which makes me happy. I will know at least one person in my year. She and Shauna, as well as Caleb tried to get me to do stuff with them and their friends, but most days I couldn't even get out of bed. Sometimes I had nightmares and I woke up screaming. Thankfully, Caleb is a deep sleeper and didn't hear that. But mom and dad did. Mom usually stayed with me and held me while I cried.

I'm not really happy about being here, but I promised dad that I would at least try to make some friends my own age. This is our third day here and I successfully managed to hide from all the people here. But dad wasn't pleased and told me to talk to people. I didn't want to upset him so I'm now currently heading toward the lake where my brother and cousins are. I watch them from a distance as they play in the water. Dad told me to put my bathing suit on and at least try to have some fun, but I don't know.

"Hey, Bee. Come over here" I hear Shauna shout after me. I walk closer to where they play in the water.

"Why does everyone keep calling you Bee?" a young dark-skinned boy asks.

"It's short for Beatrice" I say seriously.

"Lighten up, Bumblebee" Shauna says.

"I'm not in the mood."

"Stop moping" she counters.

"Come into the water, Bee" Lynn says and cracks a smile. I shake my head.

"I'm good here."

"Come on, girl" another dark-skinned boy, who looks a lot like the first, says to me.

"Dude, I don't wanna. You guys just have fun and pretend I'm not even here" I say and sit down.

"Wow, she is worse than Four" the same guy says. What? Who or what is Four?

"Leave her alone" I hear a deep, male voice say. I look up and see a tall, muscular guy, with a well toned and tan body. He looks like an underwear model from the magazines. He has short brown, curly hair, dark-blue eyes and full, pink lips to die for. I feel my cheeks getting warm and avert my gaze.

"Bee, please, come on. I hate seeing you like this" I hear Caleb say.

"Then don't look" I bite back.

"Beatrice, this isn't fair. It's not my fault whatever happened to your friends." At that my head snaps in his direction. I get up and move toward him with the speed of light and stand straight in front of him. He is taller than I am, but I don't care.

"Don't you ever talk about them in my presence ever again. You didn't know them and you don't know me. Don't assume you understand my pain, because you can't." I turn on my heels and as I want to run away I bump into someone.

"Where do you think you are going?" dad asks.

"Home" I say.

"We are far from home. How will you get there?" he asks serious.

"I'll walk" I say.

"Beatrice, don't be ridiculous" Caleb says from behind me.

"Be quiet, Caleb" dad scolds.

"I know you can do that, but I'd much prefer you wouldn't. You promised to at least try and have fun" dad says, his tone much softer than before.

"Dad" I say and my voice cracks. I hate this. I hate it when I'm so weak. "I can't. I just can't. This isn't me. I don't want to be here and no one wants me here" I say.

"That's not true" he says and I look into his eyes. He looks sad. "I want you here. I've missed you so much, my little baby girl. I wish I could take the pain away, but unfortunately I can't. You need to let yourself heal and you need to forgive yourself."

"I can't, dad. Every time I close my eyes I'm back there. I can see them. I reach for them but I'm too far away."

"Honey, there's nothing you could have done. We all know the risks. We live with them. You more than anyone knows that. Please, I beg you. At least try" he says. I feel anger rise inside of me. I take my tee shirt and my shorts off as well as my sneakers. I'm wearing my black two-piece bathing suit. I turn around and run into the water. It's warm, warmer than I have expected. I jump in and start diving. I swim underwater for a while until I feel someone tapping my foot. I turn around to see the tall tan guy. He motions with his finger up and I shake my head. He furrows his eyebrows and swims toward me. He grabs me by the waist and pulls me up. When we finally resurface he is still holding me and takes deep breaths, while I breathe easily. He looks at me a little surprised but I look at him angry.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I say and try to get away from him, but his grip on me is firm.

"How are you not out of breath?" he asks trying to control his own breathing.

"I'm a Pisces" I say.

"No, you're not. Are you trying to kill yourself or something?" he asks serious.

"No. I would only do that on a mountain" I say. He is shocked by my answer and loosens his grip on me. I take advantage of this and free myself from him. I dive again and swim further out toward the little island in the middle of the lake. It's a fairly long distance, but I'm used to pushing my body. I swim faster than before in case this guy tries to catch me again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review.


	6. Tris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I can't tell you when I update because I simply don't know. As often as possible, even twice a day maybe. I have to revise certain chapters and have a lot on my plate otherwise. Enjoy this new, longer chapter.

Tobias' POV

What did she just say? She wasn't seriously saying that she would kill herself? She manages to swim away from me, at a super human speed I might add. How can such a small girl swim so fast? I follow her to the small island and watch her as she gets out of the water and sits down. I'm there a minute later getting out myself. I walk toward where she sits and watch her for a moment.

"Can I sit?" I ask. Her head is rested on her arms, which rest on her knees. Her face is down, but I can tell she is crying. When she doesn't answer I wonder if I should just leave her alone. But what if she was serious? What if she wants to kill herself? I know this isn't a mountain, but since when do suicidal people need a mountain for that? I just sit down, next to her, but leave enough space between us to not bother her. I need to rest anyways. God, she can swim.

"Leave me alone" she says, her voice muffled.

"I'm just sitting here" I say.

"I want to be alone" she says, still keeping her head down.

"I need to rest for a moment" I lamely say. At that she gets up and runs to the water. She jumps inside and dives. I watch the water for a while, waiting for her to resurface, but she doesn't. I get up and walk quickly toward where she jumped in and jump after her. What if she is drowning? She must be tired from the swim earlier. I look around in the water but I can't see her. When I can't keep my breath I resurface. I look around to see if I can spot her and just as I wanna dive again to search for her she resurfaces several yards ahead of me. How did she do that? I swim after her. I know she will reach the shore before I will catch up, but she won't be able to go too far. But to my surprise I'm still halfway away when she reaches the shore, grabs her things and takes off running. I see Caleb and Lynn trying to stop her but she is already out of reach. Soon she is concealed by the bushes and trees of the forest ahead. I swim back to shore and get out.

"Where did she learn to swim like that?" I ask Caleb.

"No idea" he honestly says.

"Four, you are like the fastest. You couldn't catch up with her?" Zeke asks amazed.

"No. And she can hold her breath a lot longer than I can. I've never seen anything like it" I tell them and they look at me surprised.

"It's a basic requirement for mountaineers" a voice says and we turn around to see Mr. Williams and a tall man with messy hair tied to his back and a bushy beard. I realize the stranger talked.

"And who are you?" I ask. Obviously the guy is much older than we are, so he isn't a student. Maybe he is a friend of the family.

"Scott Fisher, Tris' boyfriend" he says with a serious face.

"Tris?" I ask confused.

"Yeah, ya know, blonde, petite cutie, with lips that beg to French them" he says with a snicker.

"Scott" Mr. Williams says with a warning tone.

"I'm just saying. So, where's my little honey bunny?" he asks and it turns my stomach around the way he refers to her. Is this really her boyfriend?

"She took off, that way" Lynn says pointing toward where Beatrice disappeared.

"I'll find her" he says and takes off.

"Tris?" Lynn asks.

"Yeah, all her friends call her that" Mr. Williams explains.

"Tris" Lynn says again and smiles. "I like it. It's so much better than Bee."

"It suits her" Uriah says and I happen to agree. I look toward the forest where Tris and her much older boyfriend disappeared.

We stay by the lake for a couple of more hours, just relaxing and goofing off. But I can't stop thinking about her. I've seen her a few times, always sad or crying, but today I've seen a different side of her: angry, determinant, fierce. She is a fighter. After I found out that she is a mountain climber I researched a little about it. To be able to do that you need to train very hard, harder than for any sport. You fail on the field, well it sucks, but that's it. But if you fail and give up on a mountain you're done. I went on forums and read all kinds of comments. Most of those are from amateurs, but some of the pros write there too. When you are out there on the mountain and you give up no one will help you. They walk past you. I think it's cruel, but apparently it happens. Maybe that's what Tris did and now she feels guilty. But those people where her friends. I could never walk past any of my friends and leave them there.

By supper we all gather in the camp's cafeteria. Zeke's mom is our cook and nurse here. Well she is a nurse, but she is also a very good cook. And we all help out. There aren't many of us here. About forty students and six adults. We are all between fifteen and seventeen and go to the same high school, Oswald Avery High School. I sit at the same table as my friends and look around. Tris and her boyfriend aren't here.

"Caleb, have you seen your sister? I can't find her anywhere" Mr. Prior says.

"She is in the forest with her boyfriend" Caleb says through gritted teeth. Ever since that guy showed up Caleb was very verbal about how his sister is too young for a boyfriend. The girls tried to calm him down, saying that she's sixteen and she has every right to have a boyfriend and he should just mind his own business. But the guy is definitely older than her. I wonder if he doesn't just uses her for sex. Thinking about that makes me a little angry. But why? I don't care if two strangers have sex. I mean strangers to me.

"Boyfriend?" Mr. Prior asks incredulous. "What boyfriend? Did she talk to someone here? Did she finally open up her shell?" he asks, a little hopeful and looks around.

"Uhm, no, dad. A guy came with Uncle Cameron, a Scott Fish I think" Caleb says.

"Scott Fisher? He's here?" Mr. Prior smiles but then his expression changes. "Wait. Did you say boyfriend?" Caleb nods. "Scott is your sister's boyfriend?" Caleb nods again.

"Do you know him, dad?"

"That son of a bitch. If he touched my little girl I'm gonna end him" Mr. Prior growls and clenches his fists. Just then the door opens and Tris and that Scott guy come in. She smiles. For the first time since I met her she smiles. It's a little bit forced, but at least she smiles. I look at her and realize how beautiful she looks when she smiles. It's like her whole face lightens up.

"Hey, dad. Look who's here?" Tris says toward her father. Mr. Prior stomps toward them and when he is near enough he grabs Scott by the collar and punches him in the face. Scott falls to the ground and looks up shocked.

"What the fuck, man?" Scott asks, rubbing the place where he got hit.

"Dad! What the hell are you doing?" Tris asks.

"How could you lie to me?" he asks her.

"What? What are you talking about?" she asks confused.

"This" he says pointing toward Scott who slowly stands up.

"I guess you found out. Yes, it's true, Andrew. Tris and I are madly in love and we will get married and have hot, steamy husband and wife sex" Scott says with a straight face. How can this guy talk like that, to his girlfriend's father nonetheless? He disgusts me.

"What did you say?" Mr. Prior asks angry and before he can move to punch Scott again, his brother and Mr. Williams hold him back.

"Wait, what? Scott, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Tris asks looking at the guy.

"Nothing. I'm just telling people about us" he says smirking.

"You fucking shithead. There's no us. What the fuck is wrong with you? Dad, don't listen to him. He smoked too much pot or drank too much booze. I'd never go for a dillhole like him" Tris says. "Oh, and Scott" she says turning around to face Scott and punches him in the face on the other side of where her father hit him, knocking him to the ground. "Stop fucking telling people we are a couple. I'd rather fuck a yak than you and the whole world knows that." She turns around to look at her dad. "Dad, I swear, Scott is just an idiot. There never was or will there be anything other than friendship between us. Although" she says looking over her shoulder "I might revise the friendship."

"You promise, baby girl?" her dad asks and the two men holding him let go.

"I swear, dad. In fact, I'm still a virgin" she announces to the whole cafeteria, not giving a crap.

"Oh, thank God." Mr. Prior envelops her in a big bear hug and she hugs him back. But then she starts laughing, like the laugh that makes you double over and shit your pants kind of laugh. Her dad lets go and looks at her curiously. "What?"

"Me" she laughs "and him" she laughs more and points at Scott "a couple" she laughs even harder. "That's fucking" her father joins her laughter, although I think he does because her laughter is contagious "hilarious" she says and laughs more and snorts and coughs and it takes her five full minutes to calm down and speak relatively normal again.

"Honey bunny, you're hurting my feelings" Scott says rubbing both sides of his face. "And my face."

"I've told you like a million times to stop calling me honey bunny, honey, sweetie, sweetheart, babe, baby, sugar, sexy or anything else your sick mind comes up with. And stop gawking at my boobs. Don't you have enough with that picture?" she asks and leaves all our mouths hanging.

"Picture? What picture?" her dad asks alarmed.

"Of my boobs. Don't worry, I was wearing a bra" she casually says.

"WHAT?" Mr. Prior asks.

"Relax. That's all he will ever get."

"Unless you lose another bet, cutie pie."

"I'm warning you, Fisher. If you don't stop I'm gonna touch your special place and it won't be pleasant. Remember?" she asks, putting her hands on her hips. At that Scott's smirk fades and he looks at her serious.

"You wouldn't" he says.

"I swallowed prehistoric dog crap, do you really think I make threats and promises in vain. I fucking keep what I say."

"Okay, okay. Relax. Sorry, Andrew, for misleading you" he says.

"It's okay, I guess. Bee, did you say you ate uhm…" Mr. Prior says looking at his daughter.

"Dog crap? Yeah" she says serious.

"Are you serious?" he asks uncertain.

"Well, we're not one hundred percent sure that it wasn't a really old fig. But dog crap sounds better. But don't tell mom. She'll freak out again and make me go for a check-up."

"I won't. But honey" he says looking at her.

"Yeah, dad."

"Please, don't eat things you don't know what they are or where they came from" he talks to her like to a five year old.

"Oh, darn. And I really wanted to eat some very red, poisonous berries that I found in the woods."

"Bee, stop kidding around" her father warns.

"Are you insane?" Mr. Williams asks. "She is finally herself again. Sweetie, you can eat whatever the fuck you want" he says smiling.

"Thanks, Uncle Cam."

"Why don't you sit down and eat some supper" Mr. Prior says to his daughter and she sits down next to us, while Scott sits next to her.

"You are a fucking piece of shit" she says to Scott. "How could you tell my dad we are a couple?" she asks serving herself some mac and cheese.

"A dude can dream" he says getting a burger.

"Yeah, only in your hot, bothered and wet dreams maybe, but not in this reality, dillhole."

"You know? For a tiny girl you really hurt feelings like a mammoth. No wonder they call you Ice Mountain Tris" he says. I look around and all my friends watch the two of them with open mouths.

"That's not why and you know it" she says.

"At least I have a cool name" he says taking a bite from his burger, while Tris almost chokes on her own food.

"Cool name? You've got to be shitting me."

"What? What's wrong with my nickname?"

"Everything. First of all, you can't pick a nickname for yourself, people give it to you. And second, who the fuck calls himself cumshot?" she asks and a few of us choke on either food or water.

"Language" Mr. Prior, the other one, Shauna's dad says.

"Sorry, Uncle Joe. What kind of a stupid ass nickname is that?"

"It means that I'm a killer in bed" he says grinning before taking another bite.

"If by killing in bed you mean boring the chicks to death, yeah, you are a killer. But if you insist on accuracy cumshot wouldn't be my first pick."

"Oh, really, miss fancy pants" he says mockingly. "What nickname would you give me then?" he asks. Tris thinks for a moment before a devilish grin appears on her face. She turns to face her friend and says: "Your perfect and accurate nickname shall be from now on… drum roll… premature ejaculation" she says and Zeke and Uriah burst out laughing. I soon follow and so does everyone else at our table.

"What the fuck, baby? Really? Where did you get that from?"

"One hears stories" she says eating her food.

"What stories?" he asks intrigued.

"Are you dumb or just stupid?" she asks raising an eyebrow. "Let me say this: one night in Bangkok."

"You wouldn't" he says serious.

"Relax, Casanova, I won't tell people your little secret."

"Thanks" he says and sighs.

"I have a video for that" she says and gets up. She walks toward the kitchen to deposits her plate and gets a slice of chocolate cake.

"Swear that you'll never show the video to anyone" he says trying to be intimidating, but Tris just ignores him.

"What's in it for me?" she asks.

"Blackmail, huh? I thought you were better than that" he says mockingly.

"And I thought you were better. Guess we were both wrong."

"Oh, come on. Please. For me?"

"Dude, stop that with your eyes. You are creeping me out. This might work with the skanks you fuck, but not with me."

"What if I give you the Transporter?" he asks. I wonder what he means.

"You would give me that?" she asks and he nods. "Your 1975 mint condition Star Trek Original Series Mr. Spock Transporter?" He nods again. "I'll take it under advisement" she simply states and takes a forkful of cake. She puts the cake in her mouth and moans louder than I've ever heard anyone moan. "Oh fuck. It's like my taste buds just had sex. Jesus Christ, this is one hell of a cake" she says. By now the whole cafeteria is looking at her. She has literally captured everyone's attention.

"Give me some" Scott says and grabs the fork out of her hand. She quickly gets it back and glares at him.

"Take your filthy Yeti paws off my cake. Go get your own cake" she yells at him. It's hard for me to understand how this person is the same as the one from this morning and practically the same one I knew for the past weeks.

"Is your sister always like that?" I ask Caleb.

"I… honestly have no idea" Caleb answers dumbfounded.

"Yeah, that's our Tris alright." I look up to see Matt, their other cousin, standing right behind Caleb who is still looking shocked, as do many others, at Tris Prior. "This is the real Tris, the one that only comes out when she's on the mountain."

"You mean insane?" Caleb asks.

"I don't think insane is how I would describe her" Uriah says.

"No" Matt agrees. "She's free and herself. Hey, Tris" he says and sits down next to her.

"Dude, that's my seat" Scott says when he comes back.

"There's a seat across from us" Matt gestures.

"Did you know that dillhole over there told everybody that we are a couple and have hot steamy sex?" she asks with her mouth almost full.

"You said that?" Matt asks angry, balling his fist.

"Was just a joke, relax man. Geez, and to think I wanted to marry into this family."

"Never gonna happen. Even if you'd be the last man on Earth I wouldn't fucking touch you. You are disgusting" Tris says making a face that goes with her statement.

"You just don't know me yet" Scott says taking a forkful of his cake.

"I know you plenty" she bites back.

"Dude, drop it. She's a minor" Matt says protectively.

"Come on, man. You know we are kidding. Don't you think if I really wanted to make her fall for me I would've?" Scott asks, giving them a charming smile. Tris and Matt look at each other and shake their heads.

"First, never gonna happen" Tris says.

"Second, Tris is a martial artist and can kick your ass to the moon. I saw her fight three guys twice her size and she knocked out two of them and the third conceded and they weren't newbies. Full grown men, marines. You don't wanna mess with my sis here."

"Oh my God, could you guys just fucking relax. It was a joke" Scott says.

"Stop making jokes like that about my sister" Matt says.

"Sister?" Zeke asks Caleb.

"Matt considers all of us his siblings, since he has none" Shauna explains.

"But Tris is my favorite" Matt shouts before taking a bite from his burger.

I look around the cafeteria and see that almost everyone watches Tris, Matt and Scott interact. The silliness from just a moment ago faded into pleasant conversation.

"So, you guys up for a swim afterwards?" Matt asks.

"Sure" both Scott and Tris say at the same time.

"Like in Hawaii?" Matt asks wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah" Scott says excited, while Tris looks appalled and says "God, no."

"What happened in Hawaii?" Lynn asks.

"We all got wasted and went skinny dipping in the ocean" Matt says.

"Really?" Uriah asks leaning forward to get a better look of the three.

"Nah-uh. No way" Tris protests.

"Come on, Trissy. There are no jellyfish here" Scott says sweetly.

"What about jellyfish?" Marlene asks.

"Should I tell them?" Matt asks Tris.

"Like my opinion matters" she says sipping her water.

"Of course it matters" Matt says.

"Okay. Don't say anything" Tris says.

"Alright."

"A jellyfish got stuck to Tris' cute butt" Scott says laughing.

"You motherfucker!" Tris yells. "I said don't say a thing."

"You told Matt not to say anything. You didn't tell me" he says grinning.

"Shithead."

"What about that jellyfish?" Zeke asks and Shauna smacks him.

"So here we are, swimming through the ocean, when suddenly our Trissy yelps. At first we thought a shark was eating her or something. Turns out a baby jellyfish attacked her sweet little pussy before sticking to her butt" Scott says.

"Fisher! The fuck?" Tris shouts.

"Come on, it was hilarious" Scott says laughing.

"Not as hilarious as the time when an eel crawled up your ass" Matt says and we all burst out laughing.

"Not cool man. That required medical care" Scott says pouting.

We listen to a few more of their stories, before all three of them get up and leave the cafeteria, not caring for anyone.

"Where are they going?" Uriah asks looking after them.

"Swimming" Mr. Williams says. "What about you guys? Wanna join them?" he asks the Prior brothers.

"I just ate" Caleb's father says.

"Sissy" Mr. Williams mutters. "What about you, young men?" he asks looking at us. "And ladies?"

"Sure" Zeke says and gets up. "Babe?" he asks Shauna who nods. One by one we all go outside to see Tris, Matt and Scott stretch, all in their underwear, well Tris in her bathing suit. Looking at her like this makes me feel awkward, like I shouldn't, but I can't take my eyes off of her. I see that she has a few tattoos on her back, some quotes maybe, but I can't really see what they say.

"Hey, kids. Mind some company?"

"Like you could keep up with us, old man" Matt says to his father.

"Matthew, I'm still your father" Mr. Williams says.

"Ignore him, Uncle Cam. Sure you can join us" Tris says.

"What about us?" Caleb asks.

"Sure" Tris says smiling.

"Bee?" Caleb says.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're happy again" he says and hugs her.

"I'm better. Thanks. And I'm sorry for being so bitchy these past few weeks."

"I'm sorry too. I should have been more sensitive" he says.

"Are we swimming or being all girly?" Scott asks.

"Shut up, dude" Tris yells.

The three mountaineers take several steps back leaving a distance between them and the water. Mr. Williams stands next to them and starts counting down.

"Five, four, three, two, one. Go!" he yells loudly and all four of them start running toward the water. As soon as they are far enough they jump in and dive. We all look toward the water where none of them has resurfaced yet.

"You think they are alright?" Marlene asks.

"I hope so" Shauna says. I look at my watch and two minutes have passed since they jumped in. I know for sure because I was just looking at my watch when they sprinted into the water. Just then someone comes up for air.

"Who is it?" Christina asks.

"I think it's my uncle Cam" Caleb says. A second person surfaces and I recognize Matt. That leaves Scott and Tris.

"Where's Scott?" Will asks.

"And Tris?" Lynn wonders. We all look toward the small island since that's where they are heading and watch for any kind of movement in the water. A third person resurfaces. Scott. That leaves only Tris. Maybe something's wrong. Why didn't she resurface yet? I look toward my friends they all look worried.

"Where is she?" Caleb asks nervous, taking several steps toward the water.

"Oh my God. What if she drowned?" Christina asks worried.

"Don't say that" Caleb snaps.

"Look" Lynn shouts and points toward the water. We all turn around to look. Tris just resurfaced and is ahead of all three men. She is swimming rapidly, like a fish and is the first to reach the small island. I can only assume she tapped the ground and turned around because now she is swimming full speed toward us. Right behind her is Scott and then Matt and now even Mr. Williams. They all swim incredibly fast toward the shore.

"Come on, Bee. You can beat them" Mr. Prior who seems to have materialized out of nowhere cheers proudly.

"Go, Bee" Shauna's father cheers.

"Tris, Tris, Tris" Shauna and Lynn cheer and soon we all start cheering for this amazing girl. She is way ahead of the guys and swims like a champ. I've never seen anyone swim that fast. Just as she approaches the shore she dives. We all look toward the water expecting her to jump out or something, but she doesn't. Suddenly both Matt and Scott stop and move frantically around in the water. Something must be happening. They both dive and I wanna run and jump in as well to help them but as I walk forward Tris resurfaces and swims with something in her hands. She swims fast and when she reaches the shore she starts running.

"Bee?" her father asks.

"Not now, dad. Must run" she says laughing loudly. And then I realize. She holds a pair of shorts in each hand. She runs toward the forest, trying to get away from the two men who are chasing her naked.

"Tris, you little punk" Scott yells.

"Tris, come back here" Matt shouts. While Matt stays in the water where he is covered enough, Scott runs out flashing us all.

"Scott, there are kids here."

"Yeah? Your kid stole my boxers" he says but starts laughing. He runs toward the forest, no doubt chasing Tris.

"Scott Fisher, come back here. I forbid you to run after my daughter naked."

"Your precious princess daughter undressed me" he says turning slightly, but then loses his balance and falls down.

"Jesus Christ" Shauna's dad says loudly.

"Scott, put some pants on" Mr. Prior says.

Shauna's dad walks toward the pile of clothes and picks up Scott's pants. He brings them over and gives them to him to put them on.

"What is wrong with you, kids?" he asks exasperated.

"Oh, relax, Andrew. Just harmless fun."

"Scott, I like you, but you chasing after my sixteen year old girl completely naked isn't really an image a father can digest easily" he says rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Shouldn't someone go after Bee?" Caleb asks.

"She'll be fine" her dad says. I would have thought he would go after her. She is half naked and alone in the woods. Isn't he afraid she might get hurt?

"But, dad. She is running around in just a bathing suit."

"Relax, Caleb" Matt says coming over, his pants covering his lower half. "Bee can take care of herself. Besides, she is around here somewhere."

"Matt, she ran into the forest" Shauna says.

"She might have done that, but she is around here somewhere. I assure you" he says smirking.

"Bee, please come back" Mr. Prior says.

"No" we hear her shout. I look around, but can't see her. Where is she?

"Bee, come back, now" her dad says a little more serious now.

"Immunity?" she asks. This time it was closer, but I still can't see her.

"Immunity granted" her dad says.

"What are you guys talking about?" Caleb asks.

"It's a long story" Mr. Prior, his brother, Mr. Williams, Matt and Scott say all at the same time.

"Bee?"

"Yeah?" Now she is even closer. How is she doing this? Where is she?

"Come down" he says and we all look up. There she is sitting up high in the tree nearest to the water, her feet dangling and a huge smile on her face. I involuntarily smile. She looks so beautiful when she smiles.

"Okay" she says and stands up on the branch. I have no idea how she does that. If it would have been me I would have had a panic attack by now, with my fear of heights. But not this girl. She lets the two pair of shorts fall to the ground and Matt and Scott grab their own. They step aside and look up. Tris jumps and mid-air rolls a few times to soften her fall. She lands on the ground and stands up like nothing.

"Where the hell did you learn to do that?" Shauna asks.

"Karate" Tris answers. "In Kyoto" she adds.

"You were in Japan?" Uriah asks.

"Yeah. A couple of years ago. My mom had a fashion thing over there and I have some friends from Japan. We met and one of them taught me." We watch her as she goes to pick up her own clothes and puts them on.

"Where did you learn to swim like that?" Zeke asks. Tris sits down and motions him to sit as well. We soon all gather around her, all of us eager to hear more.

"As you know I'm a mountain climber. The basic training for that includes swimming, because you push your body harder. You start out swimming your basic pool, than you go to a larger one, then you add weights."

"You swim with weights?" Will asks.

"Yeah. You start out with half a kilo and then add more and more. Enough to push you, but not too much to drown you" she explains.

"That's insane" Zeke says.

"Just a little bit. But honestly, you need to be a little crazy to do this" she says with a chuckle. She continues telling us about her training and we all hang on every word she's saying.


	7. What's your tattoo?

Tobias' POV

We've been here a week now. The first three days were awkward. Caleb, Lynn and Shauna desperately tried to involve Tris in whatever we were doing, but she always refused, keeping to herself. After Scott and Matt showed up things changed. It's like she was replaced completely. She only talked about her mountain climbing career on that first evening and refrained from any further talk. She is still getting sad, but at least she doesn't disappear for hours leaving us wondering. But I still can't forget what she said when I caught her in the water.

Me: Are you trying to kill yourself or something?

Tris: No. I would only do that on a mountain.

I wonder if she meant it. I tried to find a way to talk to her without the others, but ever since Tris became fun everyone wants to be her friend.

"Hey Tris, wanna play volleyball" Al asks her.

"Uhm, no thanks" she says returning to talk to Lynn.

"Hey beautiful" Peter says to her, but she ignores him. What a douche. "Hey, Tris" he tries again.

"Get lost, Peter" Lynn growls.

"Shut up, I wasn't talking to you" Peter says unfriendly.

"Hey, that's my cousin you're talking to" Tris stands up and gets in his face.

"Sorry, but I was talking to you. She shouldn't talk when she's not asked" Peter says. Wow, what a misogynistic pig.

"Excuse me?" Lynn asks standing up as well.

"Why don't you leave us alone?" Tris asks in a calm voice, but the way she's standing I can tell she is uncomfortable.

"Tris, I wanted to ask you if you would go out with me?" Peter asks her. Tris is taken by surprise, but she quickly composes herself.

"Thanks, but I'm not interested" she says.

"Come on. We would look cute together" he says and reaches out to touch her. I want to step in and pull him away, but before I can move Scott stands behind him and speaks.

"Didn't you hear? She said fuck off." Peter turns around and glares at him.

"You are not her boyfriend" Peter challenges.

"And neither are you. What's your point?" Scott counters. At that Peter just scoffs and walks away.

"Thanks" Tris says with a small smile.

"Anything for you, honey bunny" he says smirking.

"For God's sake, Scott, stop calling me that" she says exasperated, but smiles brightly.

"Hey Tris, Lynn, you guys wanna swim?" Zeke asks from behind me.

"Sure" Tris says and starts undressing. As she walks toward the water she loses one clothing item after the other and passes by me in just her cute little black bathing suit. "Four, you coming?" she asks looking over her shoulder and smiling. I didn't even know that she knew who I was. We barely spoke a few words after that day when I followed her to the little island and those were just random hellos and goodbyes. I smile and follow her, getting rid of my tee shirt. We play a little in the water with a ball making small talk.

"Four, I gotta ask" Scott says joining us. I look at him with furrowed eyebrows.

"Why are you always looking at me like you could kill me?" he asks. At that I look surprised. I wasn't aware I did that. I guess I don't really like the guy.

"Don't worry" Zeke says. "He always looks like that, especially, when he doesn't know the person."

"Really? How come you have a murderous look on your face when you see me and heart eyes when you see the Ice Queen" he says tilting his head toward Tris. Thankfully, she is out of earshot, the girls chasing each other in the warm lake water.

"Oh my God, that's totally what I said" Zeke says and I glare at him.

"That's because Four has the hots for our little sis" Matt says joining us. "And don't try to deny it" he says giving me a knowing look.

"She is a nice girl and she's Caleb's sister" I say casually.

"Bullshit. You totally have the hots for her" Scott says and I glare at him.

"Who has the hots for who?" Caleb asks. I turn to look at him, before looking back at the others, pleading with my eyes for them to shut up.

"Four has the hots for Tris" Scott says.

"What?" Caleb asks surprised.

"They are exaggerating" I say dismissively.

"So, you don't think she's hot?" Scott asks teasingly.

"Uhm, she is beautiful" I say.

"And she's hot" Uriah says. Caleb and I glare at him. "What? She is."

"That's my sister, dude" Caleb says.

"Relax, Caleb. The boy's right. Tris is a hottie, even if she doesn't see it. She actually thinks she is an ugly duckling" Matt says watching his cousin.

"Come on" Will says. "That can't be true."

"It is" Scott confirms. "When it comes to boys she isn't really the flirty type. I don't even think she knows how to flirt. I mean on purpose."

"What do you mean?" Zeke asks.

"Ya see, she is charming. She can convince you the sky is red if she wanted to, but she feels insignificant when it comes to guys. What you saw, how she acts around me and Matt, that's because we are her big brothers who will always protect her. I mean, yeah, she is hot, and if she wouldn't be like a sister to me I would totally bang her. But she is a sweet girl, brave and honest and kind. She is the heart and soul of every expedition and every time she's not around I feel extra sad. Don't tell her I said that" he quickly warns and the guys laugh.

"Four, if you like her you'll have to tell her" Matt says and I feel a blush creeping into my cheeks. "Bee is fucking blind and stupid when it comes to guys and compliments. A fucking Arabian prince complimented the shit out of her and she didn't even give a crap."

"Really?" Zeke asks.

"Yeah. When was that?" he asks looking at Scott.

"Two years ago, in Jordan."

"Yeah, we were rock climbing and there was this prince who practically wanted to marry her and all she did was ask him a million facts about the terrain and the weather. Eventually we had to tell the poor schmuck that Tris just wasn't old enough to understand the subtleties of romance, which isn't even a lie. The girl doesn't have one romantic bone in her" he says grinning and looking toward her.

"The only romantic bone she'll ever have in her will be some guy's boner" Scott says and the guys start laughing.

"I heard that" Tris shouts.

"How the fuck does she do that?" Scott asks, but laughs.

"You better get the fuck outta here, Fisher, or I'll take care of your boner forever" she says.

"Promise" Scott asks wiggling his eyebrows.

"Bad choice of words, Tris" Matt says shaking his head and my friends laugh, even Caleb. Tris swims toward us and Scott swims away.

"Hey, guys" she says as she comes closer to us. "What's up?" she asks, trying to act cool, even though she is probably the coolest person anyone has ever met.

"Chillin'" Matt says.

"Really? It's kind of hot here" she says.

"That's because you are used to sub zero temperatures" Matt says.

"Oh, shut up. Race?" she asks and he nods. "Hey, shithead" she yells toward the shore where Scott is lying down.

"What?" he yells back.

"Oh, good. You recognize your name" she says and we all laugh.

"That's right, baby" he yells. "What's up?"

"Race" she says.

"Nah, I wanna chill. But you kids have fun."

"Guess it's just you and me" Tris says to her cousin.

"Can we race with you?" Uriah asks.

"Sure" both cousins say.

"Let's form a line" Tris suggests. We do that leaving enough space between us as to not hurt each other and wait for the start signal. Soon Matt gives the go and we all start swimming. To no one's surprise Tris leads, followed by Matt, but I'm on both their tails. We swim fast and I push my body to get closer, but every time I think I reach them they speed up again. By the time they reach the small island I'm at least thirty seconds behind, but I'm still closer than any of my friends. Tris and Matt sit down on the island and I sit down next to Tris. She barely shows any sign of exhaustion, even though she swam fast and hard. You wouldn't think by just looking at her, but she is in real good shape.

"Come on, Caleb" she cheers and gets up. Zeke reaches the shore, followed by Caleb, Uriah and Will. All of them are out of breath, but smile. Tris talks to them and gives them pointers how to get better. At some point they all go into the water and Tris teaches them breathing techniques.

"You like her" Matt says, pulling me out of my daydream. "Don't deny it" he says as I turn around to look at him.

"I'm not denying anything" I say a little defensive.

"Relax, man. Look, I don't know you, but Caleb had only good things to say about you. If you really like her than you should tell her. Ask her out. But keep in mind there are a lot of people who love her. If you are just out for a quick fuck, leave her alone."

"I'm not looking for a quick fuck" I say a little angry.

"Good. 'Cause she is not that kind of girl" Matt says. I look toward the water and watch Tris laughing at some joke Uriah made. I know she's not that kind of girl. She is special. I never felt anything like this for anyone before. I had a few girlfriends and went on a couple of blind dates, but I never felt so nervous around any girl, like I feel around Tris. Just as Matt gets up Tris walks back to where I sit. She sits down and looks toward the water. Matt started to swim back to shore and the others soon follow, leaving me and Tris alone on the island. I suddenly feel self-conscious, something I never felt before, especially not around a girl.

"Can I ask you something?" she asks before I'm able to say anything.

"Sure" I say and look at her, giving her a small smile.

"What does your tattoo mean?" she asks looking at it.

"I wanted something different" I casually say.

"I can see that and may I say ouch" she says laughing lightly.

"It took a while to get it and yeah it was painful sometimes. The flames are for courage" I start saying but she interrupts.

"They can also mean passion. Being passionate about something or someone" she says.

"Yeah. The symbols on my spine represent a personality trait each. The flame on top means bravery, the joined hands mean selflessness, the eye means intelligence, the uneven scale honesty and the tree means kindness. It's what I want to be: brave, selfless, intelligent, honest and kind. Well, I'm still struggling with kind" I admit to her and she smiles warmly.

"Yeah, you are kind of unkind, but I guess you don't like to let people in you don't know" she says.

"Yeah" is all I say, although she is right. Letting people in means you open yourself up and become vulnerable. And that's the last thing I want to be. "What about yours?" I ask.

"This one" she says pointing at the ravens on her collarbone "represent my parents and my brother. I got it to always have them with me no matter where I am" she says. "And the others along my spine are four of the seven summits" she tells me. By the face I must have made she chuckles and starts explaining. "There are several high summits in the world, but every real mountaineer has this goal to climb the highest on each continent. There are basically nine such mountains and there are any kind of combinations. I conquered four." Yeah, she did. Woah, did I just admit that I have fallen for this girl? She turns around and puts her finger and the small of her back. "Each tattoo contains the name of the mountain, it's elevation and the date I reached the summit. Obviously, the lowest of them is at the bottom of my spine, Mount Kosciuszko 2.228 m, September 13th 2012, in Australia. That was the first of the Seven and I climbed it with my dad. Then we have Mount Vinson, 4.892 m, almost a year later followed by Mount Kilimanjaro, 5.895 m, August 8th 2014, in Tanzania, Africa. Both with Matt and Scott. And then this year" she says pointing toward a tattoo at the top. I read it and I feel my jaw drop.

"Everest? You climbed Everest?" I ask shocked. How can someone so small, climb such a huge mountain? That's literally the top of the world.

"Yeah, Mount Everest, 8.848 m or 29.000 ft if you like, May 10th 2015, my mom's birthday" she says and turns around.

"Wow, that's impressive" I tell her honestly. "Does your family know?"

"My parents do. My uncles and Matt. Neither Caleb or Shauna or Lynn know. They know I climb, but none of them ever showed any interest in climbing or me" she says the last part quieter "so I didn't think it was worth telling. They all have their own lives."

"Tris, this is huge, this is amazing."

"Well, it is. I've seen so many things traveling to the mountains. But there's no place like a mountain."

"Mountains are cathedrals where you practice your religion" I say, remembering what she said when I first met her.

"Yeah" she says and gets sad again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's okay. The last expedition was tough. I lost two of my best friends to the mountain. Can we talk about something else?" she asks.

"Sure."

"Can I ask you something personal?" I nod. "What does Four stand for?" I smile. Of course she would want to know.

"Zeke gave me the nickname in junior high. It was my number on the soccer field."

"Oh. Well, that's nice. Definitely better than making up your own nickname" she says laughing. "Can I ask you another question?" I nod again. "What's your actual name?" she asks, her eyes sparkling.

"Tobias. Tobias Eaton" I say.

"Tobias. I like that. So much better than Four" she says looking straight ahead. I involuntarily smile.

"You can call me that if you like" I tell her.

"You sure?" she asks turning around to look me in the eyes.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be sure?" I ask confused.

"I thought since everyone calls you Four that's what you prefer."

"That's more or less true, but I wouldn't mind if you would call me Tobias instead of Four."

"Okay. Hello Tobias" she says holding out her hand to shake. "I'm Tris."

"Hi, Tris" I say and shake her hand lightly. The moment our hands touch I feel an electric current racing through my body and bringing my whole being to life. When she let's go of my hand I immediately miss her touch and warmth and find myself yearning to hold her hand again. Hold more than just her hand.

"Now that was silly" she says. We both laugh. "Tell me about you" she says after we calm down.

"There's not much to say."

"Oh come on. I feel like you know more about me than I about you. How about this? We ask each other questions and answer our own questions too. I start. What's your favorite color? Mine's green."

"You didn't really leave me much option here" I say with a chuckle and she smiles while shaking her head. "Okay, black."

"Why? You depressed or something?" she asks.

"Uhm, no. I just like it. It's plain, simple, uncomplicated."

"Uncomplicated? Remind me. Which color is complicated?"

"Dunno. Aquamarine" I say and she bursts out laughing.

"I'll keep that in mind next time I buy a new top."

"Okay. Favorite food. And don't say prehistoric dog crap" I say and we both laugh.

"Okay. Pizza with a lot of cheese" she says.

"So, cheese pizza?" I ask and she nods. "Mine's steak. Your turn."

"Favorite drink."

"Wait. Alcoholic or non?" I ask.

"Both. Mine is scotch and coke" she says.

"Wow, hard drinks. Okay, beer and lemonade. Favorite movie. Mine's, don't laugh, Karate Kid."

"Seven years in Tibet. And why would I laugh?"

"Don't know."

"Favorite book. Mine's To Kill A Mockingbird."

"Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. Favorite music genre. Mine's alternative rock and indie."

"I guess rock music, but also country."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's cool, easy to listen to, smooth. I like it."

"I'm not judging. I'm just surprised. You have siblings? You know Caleb and basically Matt and Scott have self-proclaimed themselves my honorary big brothers."

"I have a half-sister, Rose" I tell her.

"How old is she?" Tris asks curious.

"Six."

"Just like Hector" she says, referring to Lynn's and Shauna's younger brother.

"I know. They both go to the same pre-school. Our mother's are actually friends" I tell her.

"So, I gather you stay with your mom. What about your dad?" she asks and I flinch, "Oh, I'm sorry" she says apologetically. "I didn't mean to bring up something upsetting."

"It's okay. You couldn't have known. But can we not talk about my dad?" I ask and she nods. "They divorced" is all I say.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Where were we? Oh yeah, right. Your turn to ask me something."

"Do you wanna go on a date with me?" I ask her boldly. She looks at me surprised and suspicious. "FYI, I want to go on a date with you" I tell her remembering what Matt said.

"You want to go out with me? Why?" she asks.

"What do you mean why?"

"Why me? I'm sure there are plenty of pretty girls at your school who would die for you to ask them out. Why would you ask me?" she asks. Wow, Matt and Scott were right. She doesn't have a clue the effect she has on people.

"I like you, Tris. I like you a lot."

"But I'm so plain and small and … not pretty" she says looking down on herself. That's new. Usually the girls I dated were so full of themselves, but Tris is different.

"I don't think you are anything like that. I think you are amazing, smart, witty, funny and beautiful" I tell her honestly.

"Beautiful? Ha" she laughs and snorts a little. "Okay. Where's the camera? Who put you up to this?" she asks and looks around.

"No one did. I mean every word, Tris. But if you don't want to, that's okay" I say, even though it's not. I really like her. She is the complete opposite of any girl I've ever met.

"Hang on. You mean it?" she asks in disbelief.

"Yes, of course. Why would I lie?"

"I don't know. It's just no cute boy ever asked me out" she says. Wait. Did she say cute? She thinks I'm cute? I feel myself smile widely.

"I can't believe no one ever asked you out" I say.

"I said no one cute" she says laughing. "So, you wanna go out with me?" I nod. "For real?" I nod. "And this isn't a prank?" I shake my head no. "Or some stupid guy bet?" I shake my head again. "You wanna go out with me?" I nod. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure" I say.

"Okay" she says.

"Okay?" I ask.

"Yeah. Should be fun" she says smiling.

"Okay" I say again.

"Okay" she says.

"Okay."

"Can we use a different word now?" she asks with a chuckle. "I feel like we are abusing okay."

"Okay" I say and she laughs. "We should head back. It's getting chillier." We both go into the water and swim toward the shore. Somewhere in the middle between the shore ahead and the island we left behind she stops.

"You okay?" I ask a little concerned.

"Back to okay?" she asks with a raised eyebrow.

"No, sorry. Why did you stop?"

"I kept thinking."

"Yeah?"

"When, where and how?" she asks.

"You need to be more specific" I say.

"Our date. We are stuck here" she says.

"Oh, don't worry about that" I say smirking.

"Alright." We continue to swim until I remember something.

"Hey, Tris" I say and she stops, turning to look at me. "Why do they call you Ice Queen?"

"Only Matt and Scott call me that, because apparently I'm anti-social" she says.

"I would say you are quite the opposite. You are the center of the attention around here."

"'Cause I'm the new girl, but this will fade eventually" she says, but I doubt it. She is like a blazing fire and everyone else are moths drawn to the light. "It's actually Ice Mountain Tris. Rob, one of my friends and instructors, gave me the nickname after we climbed Mount Vinson in Antarctica" she tells me.

"Wait, you went to the South Pole?"

"Well, yeah. That's where the mountain is" she says with a chuckle.

"Must have been freezing there" I say shuddering at the thought.

"Yeah. I almost lost a toe. Thankfully I still have all my toes and all my fingers. Mickey, another one of my friends, lost his left big toe."

"Owie" I say and she laughs.

"Owie indeed."

We reach shore and walk into our respective cabins. I change into some sweat pants and a tee shirt, but decide to take my sweat shirt with me. I put on my sneakers and head back out. By the time I reach the bonfire where most of us gather each night I see Tris sitting next to Lynn and Zeke. I go over and make Zeke move so that I can sit next to the girl I like.

"Hey. You were quick" I tell her.

"I learned to be very quick on the mountain" she says. "You need to work at full speed, unless you want to freeze to death" she says serious, but then laughs. "Also, you wanna be quick if you don't want a bunch of guys seeing your half naked ass." We sit around the fire and tell ghost stories. Or at least some of us try to tell them. It's Eric's turn to tell a story. Eric and I have a few classes together and are on the soccer team. Next to him sits Nita. She and I went on a date, because Zeke wanted to nail her friend and we went on a double date. The whole time she talked without pause and bored me out of my mind. I couldn't wait for the night to be over and finally go home. The next day she went around the school and told people we are together. I had to get really loud in the hallway to make her stop spreading rumors. Eventually she gave up. Mostly, anyways. She still flirts shamelessly with me, but I ignore her. I try to pay attention to Eric's stupid ghost story, but I feel myself drawn to Tris. She smells so nicely. What is it? It smells fruity and sweet. Apple? Melon? Maybe some exotic fruit. I lean a bit toward her to smell her hair and just then she turns around and catches me.

"What are you doing?" she asks whispering and then chuckles.

"Uhm…" is all I manage to say. What the fuck am I doing?

"Are you some weirdo who likes to smell people's hair?" she asks with a straight face. Great. Now she thinks I'm weird. Then, something strange happens, she smiles. She leans in and whispers so that only I hear. "I like to smell people's hair too".

"Really?" I ask. She looks at me for a second before she laughs.

"No, weirdo. I was just saying that to make you feel better for getting caught being weird."

"Oh, thanks. Listen. I don't do this to people. But your shampoo has a strong scent" I say, trying to salvage, well, anything.

"Oh. It's passion fruit and vanilla" she answers. "You like it?" she asks and I nod smiling. "Good. 'Cause I could never go out with someone who doesn't like my shampoo" she says.

"Good. How do you stand on wood and musk?" I ask.

"It's okay, I guess. But wouldn't it be weird if I'd smell like a guy? Wouldn't that turn you off or something?" she asks sweetly. I barely hold back my laughter.

"I meant on me."

"Oh. I guess. Can I smell you? I mean, you smelled me" she says and I lean my head toward her and she sniffs me like she's a dog.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" Zeke asks whispering.

"Sniffing" we both say and laugh. Everyone is looking at us now.

"Sorry, folks. Please, continue, ehm… Sorry. What's your name?" she asks Eric.

"Eric. And please try to be quiet, babe" he says in a condescending tone.

"Dude, I never was and I never will be your babe. So if you don't want your tiny balls for breakfast tomorrow I suggest you stop talking like that. We clear, shitface?" Tris asks in a threatening voice.

"What did you say?" Eric asks standing up.

"You deaf or slow?" Tris challenges.

"Bee, stop it" I hear Caleb, who I now realize sits next to Lynn.

"Shut it, Caleb. I said if you ever talk to me like that again I'll serve you your teeny tiny balls for breakfast. Was I clear enough or do you need a diagram?" she asks standing up. She is much shorter than Eric, but right now she is taller than all of us put together. I have no problem standing up to Eric, I'm stronger, faster and smarter than him, but the rest in our school fear him for some reason.

"You're going to regret this, bitch" he says.

"Hey" I yell and get up. "Take that back. Now."

"Or what?" Eric asks mockingly. Before I can answer Tris walks over to where he stands and to all our surprise grabs his ball sack through his shorts and squeezes. Eric lets out a strangled cry of pain and curses loudly.

"You'll either respect me or I'm gonna squeeze your balls like they have never been squeezed before. I've handled punks like you my whole life. I can both take care of myself and beat the crap out of you. I might be small, but I'm stronger, faster, smarter and prettier than you, shitface. Whenever you see me in the hallway you will politely say hello and goodbye and never ever plot revenge. You know why?" she asks but Eric doesn't move. I can only imagine because he is in extreme pain. Damn. I grab my own package, trying to keep it safe. "I asked you something. You know why?" Eric shakes his head. "You might think you want revenge, but you won't do anything about it. Whenever you feel like paying me back, think of this moment. And if anyone acts on your command or suggestion and hurts either me or any of my friends I will personally take my revenge on you. And this, shitface, is just foreplay for me. I spend the last ten years fighting bullies like you and I usually win. And if I don't , well let's just say I rarely lose. Have I made myself clear?" Eric nods vigorously. "Excellent. Now go to the cafeteria and ask for an ibuprofen and some ice for your very swollen balls." Eric barely walks away and we all look after him.

"What the fuck is your problem, bitch? He is our star athlete. You think you are so great because you are all new here. You are just a stupid, small, ugly bitch" Nita insults Tris.

"Sorry, what?" Tris asks looking at Nita. "I didn't understand you right. I don't speak skank" she says with a straight face and half the people burst out laughing, while the other half applauds her. "Ugh" Nita says and runs off.

"That was so awesome" Christina says.

"Who the fuck do they think they are, King and Queen of Skankville?" Tris asks sitting back down.

"Tris, how many times do I have to tell you not to touch boys in their private areas?" Matt asks coming over with sanitizer. He pours some in Tris' hands and she rubs them. "You know I enjoy whenever you crush some fuckhead's balls, but use some protective gloves, for Christ's sake" he adds and we laugh.

"I can't believe you went to Eric and did that" Lynn says.

"I won't let him treat me like shit. If he can than I sure as hell can too. I have three black belts in three martial arts. I dare him to try something. And that skank… she better watches out" Tris says.

"Okay. That's enough, Rambo" Matt says. "You are no fun sober."

"Oh, shut it."

"Okay. I think it's my turn to tell a bedtime story" Scott says. He starts telling his story and I lean into Tris and whisper in her ear.

"Wanna go for a walk?" She nods. We both get up and leave the bonfire. It's too dark to take a walk through the forest, so we go toward the lake. It's near enough to have some light from the fire, but far to have our privacy.

"Sorry for that" she says after a while.

"For what?" I ask confused.

"For what happened back there" she says tilting her head toward the bonfire.

"You don't have to apologize. Eric and Nita should. They have been bullying a lot of kids at school and for the first time they get a taste of their own medicine" I say.

"Still. It was wrong. I'm so used to this wild life, that I have no idea how to behave around civilized people" she says and sits down.

"I wouldn't call either of them civilized" I say trying to lighten her mood.

"If you changed your mind about our date I understand" she says looking at me.

"What? Why would I change my mind? If anything now I have one more reason to date you" I say with a chuckle and she smiles a little.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Okay."

For a brief moment I see Tris' dad. I get up and ask her to wait for me here. She nods and I take off running toward him. I've known Mr. Prior ever since freshman year. He is a cool person, but I don't know if he would like me dating his daughter. But I wanna make this the right way.

"Mr. Prior" I say as I get closer.

"Yes, Four" he says turning to look my way.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" I ask and he nods. "Uhm, I was wondering if it would be okay with you if I would take Tris on a… uh… a date tomorrow" I say nervously. This is the first time I ask a girl's dad for permission.

"You want to take Bee on a date?" Mr. Prior asks incredulous.

"Yeah. I promise you, sir, I have only the best intentions. I really like her and I hope she likes me too" I say before I can stop myself. What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Uhm, I don't know, Four. You are a nice young man, but my little girl went through a lot" he says looking toward her. I turn my head and stare for a moment at Tris' back.

"Come on, Andrew, give the boy a chance. Bee is old enough to at least try it out. Besides, you and Natalie wanted your baby girl to be a normal teenager for once. Dating is part of that" Mr. Williams says, as he stands next to his brother-in-law.

"But she's my little girl."

"I know. And I'm sure the young man is aware that Bee has many protectors and if he hurts her, well you can do the math boy" he says and I nod. I would never hurt her. Not intentionally.

"Alright. Where are you planning on taking her? We are in the middle of nowhere" Mr. Prior says.

"The waterfall" I say. It's not far from the camp site and we can easily come back in less than an hour. "I thought we could have lunch there and just get to know each other. There is nowhere else to go and since Tris likes nature so much I thought it would be nicer than just wait to go back home and take her to a movie. I mean, I would take her to a movie if she wanted that. And maybe if we go back and she would want to go on another date I will take her to a movie" I say very fast and both men chuckle.

"Slow down, kid and breathe. It's just your first date. You're acting like you're asking for her hand in marriage" Mr. Williams teases.

"Cameron, don't say that" Mr. Prior says disturbed. "Alright. You have my permission, but you are back in time for supper. We clear?"

"Yes, sir. And you can trust me. I respect your daughter" I add.

"Even if you don't, she is capable of beating the shit out of you. She doesn't look like it, but I've seen her in enough tournaments. Her mom doesn't like it, but in times like these I'm proud of my little Bumblebee" he says proudly. That was awkward.

"Thank you, sir." I leave them and hurry back to Tris. To my unpleasant surprise Peter is there.

"Come on, Tris. You and I could be the new dream couple" he says getting way to close to her.

"Peter, I told you. I'm not interested."

"What? You are more interested in that dumbass Four?" he asks and I clench my fists.

"Yeah" she says and looks him straight in the eyes.

"He'll never ask you out. He only likes girls with big boobs" Peter says.

"Really?" Tris asks, her right hand to her chest, while her left hand is over her mouth. "And here I was thinking he actually liked me when he asked me out."

"He asked you out? Four never asks girls out" Peter says, more to himself.

"I guess he either likes me a lot or a brain tumor makes him do all kinds of crazy stuff" Tris says mockingly.

"Your loss" Peter says and gets up. As he turns to walk back to the bonfire he faces me. "She's all yours. I don't want her anymore" he says, as if she was his to begin with.

"Hey, there you are" Tris says smiling. "Did you hear the good news?" she asks while I sit down next to her. I shake my head. "I'm all yours. Peter doesn't want me anymore. It feels so good to finally know to which boy I belong" she says in a ridiculous southern voice. I can't help it but laugh.

"OMG, I was so totally hoping Peter would lose interest in you, since otherwise I wouldn't stand a chance against him" I say copying her.

"Like totally no chance" Tris says and we both laugh. "But seriously now. Where have you been? You left me here exposed to the creeps" she says punching my arm lightly.

"Sorry, I needed to take care of something. So, about our date. How about tomorrow I take you out for a lunch picnic?" I ask.

"A picnic?" she asks raising an eyebrow and suddenly I realize maybe she expected me to take her some place fancy. But then her eyes sparkle and she smiles brightly. "I'd love that. I can't wait" she says.


	8. The choice of the mountaineer

Tris' POV

After we eat breakfast Tobias and I start our hike to where we will have our date. I learned that Tobias went to ask my dad's permission to take me on a date to begin with, even though he already asked me. But since dad is responsible for everyone here he needed to know. Plus, I think Tobias wanted to make a good impression. Thankfully, dad didn't tell Matt or Scott or anyone for that matter about our date. No one knows we are going on one. But by the time we'll come back they probably will have figured that out.

We walk for almost an hour talking about a lot of things, from random things we saw on TV to what we wish to accomplish in our future. When we finally reach our destination my breath is taken away. There is a beautiful waterfall and a small pond in the middle of a meadow. I go to take a closer look at the waterfall and check the water. So, that's why he said I should take my bathing suit with me.

"Do you like it?" he asks smiling.

"I love it. Thank you for bringing me here. It's beautiful" I tell him honestly.

He sets up the blanket in front of the pond and sits down, patting the place next to him. I laugh and sit down.

"So, what are we going to do today?" I ask him.

"I thought maybe we could get to know each other better" he says smiling.

"Like trivial things or really personal?" I ask.

"Both. You start" he says.

"My favorite season is winter, well actually it's the Christmas season and I have a piercing in a very intimate place" I say with a straight face. I watch him swallow, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"Piercing?" he asks looking down on me.

"Yeah, and Christmas is just the best" I say. Of course, he stayed focused on the piercing.

"Really?" he asks.

"Yeah. And not just because of the gifts, but the decorations and the cookies. It's just wonderful. And I'm totally messing with you" I say laughing.

"Huh?" he asks taking a moment to register what I said. But then he smiles. "So, you don't like Christmas?" he asks catching on. We both laugh out loud.

"No, I do love Christmas. But no piercing, sorry."

"It's okay" he says.

"Your turn."

"I like spring."

"Why?"

"I guess because it means renewal. No matter what happened the year before in spring you can start over again."

"I never thought of it that way. I like it."

"Enough to change your favorite season?" he asks with a smug grin on his face.

"I wouldn't go that far. You wanna talk about more serious stuff or just telling stories from when we were younger?" I ask him. He sighs.

"Let's work toward the serious stuff" he suggests.

"That's fine by me. What do you like to do in your spare time?" I ask him.

"There are several things. Obviously hanging out with Zeke and the rest of my friends, but mainly him. We've known each other since we were five and have been best friends ever since. I like running, boxing. Soccer, obviously. But I also like to read and I'm good with computers. And when I turned sixteen I got my own truck. Mom and dad gave me half the money to buy it" he says excited.

"That's great. So, even though your folks are divorced they keep in touch" I say and his smiles instantly fades.

"No. My dad, Marcus, he isn't part of my life anymore" he starts saying.

"Tobias, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to" I assure him. Sure I'm curious, but if it makes him uncomfortable I won't pry.

"It's okay. The story is long and I'll tell it another time. By dad I mean my mom's second husband, Clark. My parents divorced when I was eleven and after my mom married when I was twelve I suddenly had a new father. Clark is a really nice guy, even though in the beginning I was kind of a jerk to him. He is very patient and caring and he has been a dad through good and bad. And even after Rose was born he didn't treat me differently, in fact he loved me more. When I turned fourteen he became my legal guardian, along with my mom of course, and even though I still have my father's last name I feel that Clark is my dad."

"That's nice" I say not really knowing what else to say. I decide to tell him something more personal about myself. "My dad took me hiking the first time when I was three years old. I loved it so much that I asked for more. So, that summer we went outdoors every weekend. And when my dad couldn't go with me either my Uncle Joe took me or my Uncle Cameron. In time I moved from just hiking to actually climbing. I shortly became part of the Chicago area mountaineers and went on all kinds of expeditions. Sometimes my dad could make it other times one of my uncles came with me, but as time passed and we got to know each other better dad trusted me to go with these other people. They were all like my extended secret family – I have a lot more uncles and cousins than you know" I say with a chuckle thinking of them and he smiles. "We went on all kinds of expeditions in the country and outside. I made these great friends and we have this crazy, unique relationship. What you saw between me and Scott and Matt that's how we all are. We are crazy, but we love each other and we would do anything for the other."

"Can I ask you something?" he asks a little serious.

"Sure, anything" I say.

"After we met and I found out that you are a mountain climber I went online to research that. I read a lot of stuff and went on several forums. There was something I didn't understand" he says furrowing his eyebrows.

"What?" I ask curious.

"Is it true that, when someone can't go on anymore you just leave him there on the mountain?" he asks and I flinch. I think a moment about what to say, but there isn't much to say except "Yes". "Why?" he asks.

"Tobias, you have to understand a thing: on the mountain we are all the same. No one is better than the other. What you ask usually happens on the very big ones. Experienced mountaineers train themselves for years to survive in an environment like that. Imagine the following situation and I need you to be objective" I say and he nods. "You and your friends climb a mountain. The way up is tough but you are highly motivated to reach the summit. When you do you are happy, but also exhausted. Now, the tricky part is to come back down. By the time you start your descend you are past tired and sleepy. Your whole body aches and orders you to rest. The problem here is: you can't. If you stop before you reach the designated camp, which obviously is your resting place, you might not make it. The moment night falls in the mountains temperatures drop phenomenally. If you don't reach shelter you might die from hypothermia. Every mountaineer knows this and is aware of the risks when he or she starts ascending."

"I understand that, Tris. But why leave someone behind? How can you?" he asks. I sigh.

"It's the hardest thing anyone will ever do. You might as well kill that person yourself. It would actually be more merciful if you would shoot that person in the head. Imagine you are tired and night is falling. The only thing that can save you from certain death is you getting yourself back to camp. It's an improvised camp, but it has tents that can withstand the low temperatures and keep you alive till morning when you can continue your descend. Imagine on your way to that camp another climber stops because he is exhausted. Obviously, you try to motivate him to keep going, but if someone can't or has given up you can't stay there. You will die with that person. There's no way you can carry him or her, because of both the terrain and your own fatigue. If you stay you die. That's how simple it is. It's cruel, but it's the truth. If you want to survive the most you can do with anyone like that is try and make that person walk. You can even offer some help, but not carrying. It won't help any of you."

He is quiet for a moment, probably thinking of what I've told him. He looks at me serious with furrowed eyebrows opening his mouth and then closing it, obviously trying to form another question or plain sentence.

"Did you? Did you ever do that?" he asks a little wary.

"Yes" I say.

"Wow, I would have expected a lie here" he says surprised.

"Would you have preferred a lie?" I ask. He thinks for a moment.

"No. It's just…"

"Awkward" I say and he nods. "It happened a few times. I did my best to motivate them, but they were exhausted. If I would have stayed with them I would be long dead by now, Tobias. I feel bad for them, I swear I do, but I don't feel guilty. I know this sounds bad, but we all know the risks when we go to a mountain. If I would be in this position, the one to be left behind I would understand. That's why it's best to go with people you know, even care about, but not love, on expeditions that might go wrong. But it's difficult, because the more time you spend with these people the more you care. Five years ago, when I met Scott, I would have left him. Four years ago I would have spared five minutes to motivate him and then left. Three years ago it would have been ten to fifteen minutes. Two years ago half an hour. Last year probably an hour, which would have definitely cost me a toe or a finger. This year it would have cost me my hand or foot. You see, the more time you spend with people the harder it gets. This is why I didn't tell anyone from my family where I was going when I went to Nepal. If they would have known both my uncles would have come and Matt and worst of all, dad. They think I just did it for the thrill and to complete my Seven, yeah I climbed the mountain because of that. But I didn't tell them just to prove myself, because that's what they think, I overheard them talk. I didn't say anything to avoid any of them joining. Tobias, six people died this year on that mountain" I say and feel tears filling my eyes as I speak. He moves forward and hugs me tightly. I cry uncontrollably soaking his shirt. He rubs my back and whispers into my ear "Everything's alright now. You are safe."

After the tears subside he hands me a paper handkerchief and I wipe my tears and blow my nose. He looks at me with a sad expression on his face and I feel bad. I should have controlled my emotions better.

"I'm sorry" I say.

"Don't be. You needed that, otherwise you wouldn't have cried."

"Yeah, I guess."

"You must really love that life" he says after a while.

"I do. It's hard to describe. I was asked many times why I'm doing it."

"Why are you doing it?" he asks and I smile. He smiles back and I feel warmth spread inside of me. I search for my phone in my backpack and look for the pictures I have there. When I find them I hand him the phone telling him to scroll through them. It takes him a while to go through all, asking me where this or that was taken. I tell him everything about it and he smiles or frowns or laughs, depending on the story. I find him cute when he looks all concentrated on the screen, like he is studying something important. "Wow, these pictures are amazing" he says.

"Yeah. The view is indeed spectacular."

"But they are not all taken from the ground" he says with a frown.

"No. In some locations I went sky diving and took pictures that way. You should come sometime. It's really fun" I say excited, but his expression is even more serious now. "What?" I ask apprehensive. Oops, I just assumed we would go on from here, like on another date. Maybe he doesn't want to.

"Uhm, I'm not doing so well with heights" he confesses and catches me off guard.

"Huh?" I ask.

"I'm afraid of heights" he says a little shy.

"Oh" is all I say.

"Wanna… I don't know… go for a swim?" he asks.

"Sure." I get rid of my shirt and pants as well as my trekking shoes and literally jump onto the pond. He follows closely and for a long while we just chase each other in the water or splash water into the other's face and laugh hysterically. After a while I take a deep breath and dive. The water isn't deep here but I love to do it anyway. He follows quickly watching me curiously. I smile and he smiles back, but opens his mouth by accident and resurfaces. I think for a moment about what happened so far. I never went on a date before. This is quite nice. Tobias dives again and motions me to come up. I do so and when we are above the water he smiles.

"It amazes me how you can hold your breath" he says.

"It's no big deal, just exercise. You could do it too" I say.

"You should teach me sometime" he says.

"We can try now" I say and he frowns. "What?"

"I was hoping that could be our third or fourth date" he says serious. Wait. Did he say third or fourth date? Does this mean he wants to go out again?

"Thinking ahead, I see."

"Well, I need to plan ahead. I need to keep this interesting long enough for you to like me" he says and grins.

"Who says I don't like you already?" I ask.

"You do?" he asks and his grin widens.

"Well, yeah. There any reason I shouldn't?"

"None that I can think of" he says with a laugh.

"Okay. So what now?" I ask him.

"Lunch." We unpack the turkey sandwiches Hana, Zeke's and Uriah's mother packed for us. We both went into the kitchen before we left and she handed us plenty for lunch and supper, although we said we would be back in time. She smiled and hugged us.

"Hey, Tobias?" I say just as he was about to take another bite of his sandwich. "Why did Zeke's mom hug us and smile like that?"

"Uhm" he says and blushes. I find it cute when he does that. I've only noticed it a couple of times, but it's adorable. I take a bite from my on sandwich and wait patiently for him to explain. "Hana is like a second mom to me. She always wanted me to go out with a nice girl. The girls I usually went out with were picked by Zeke, because in his opinion we would have looked good together, whatever that means. So, Hana was really excited when I told her I would go out with you" he says and gives me a charming smile.

"So, I'm a nice girl?" I ask him trying to keep a straight face.

"Yes, very nice."

"Even after you saw me in my mountaineer mode?" I ask and he chuckles.

"Even after that. I think you are more than nice" he says and I look up. "I think you are smart, funny, witty, passionate, beautiful" he says and I feel myself blushing. I'm not used to being complimented, especially not by hot guys like he is. I still can wrap my head around why he asked me out. "Thanks for going out with me" he says after he finishes his sandwich.

"Thanks for asking."

After we finish lunch we just lie there side by side and watch the clouds. The wind is picking up a little, but it's not too bad. We decide to swim some more and talk about our pasts. I learn that he had two girlfriends before, but no relationship lasted longer than five or six weeks. I tell him that I never had a boyfriend and he doesn't believe me at first. I never really had the time for romance, I was otherwise preoccupied.

"We should go back" I say looking up to the sky.

"Why?" he asks and I look at him. His expression is serious, hurt even. "Did I bore you already?" he asks trying to mask the hurt I can see in his eyes.

"Tobias, I would love to spend a lot more time with you here. It's a beautiful place and the company is extraordinary, but I don't want to catch a cold" I say.

"It's still warm outside" he says looking confused.

"Right now it is, but not after it starts raining" I say and he raises an eyebrow. I point toward the sky and he still looks confused. "It'll rain in an hour or so" I say.

"How do you know?" he asks curiously.

"I've spend a lot of time outdoors and on mountains. I can tell when the weather changes. I've been watching the clouds for a while and it will definitely rain soon" I explain.

"I'll have to trust you then" he says getting up and putting his pants and tee shirt back on. I do the same and we gather all our things. "Ready" he says. I expect him to start walking but he keeps staring at me.

"What?" I ask.

"I had a really great time" he says a little sad.

"Why are you sad?" I blurt out.

"Because our date is over and we have to go back" he says. He has a little pout and I reach out to caress his cheek.

"We might be heading back, but our date is not over. There's still a lot I want to learn about Tobias Eaton" I say and he smiles.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Under one condition" I say and he nods. "Stop asking if you can ask me something. Just ask" I say and we both laugh.

"Alright. I'll remember that. Tris, can I hold your hand?" he asks sweetly. My heart melts when he looks at me the way he does, like he is a lost puppy that needs a new home. I smile and reach out my hand to him. The moment our hands touch I feel that electricity again, the same I felt when he first touched me in the water. I feel myself blush and avert my gaze starting to walk, dragging him with me.

On our way back he tells me stories about when he was little, mostly school stuff or stupid things he and Zeke did and got caught more than one time. I tell him a few of my stories and by the time we are near the camp we know a lot more about the other. Just before we reach the first cabin he stops and pulls me backwards. I turn around to look at him confused.

"I imagined this a little differently, but since it's about to rain" and just on cue we hear a loud thunder "I was wondering if it would be okay to kiss you?" I look at him surprised, but nod nevertheless. He smiles sweetly and then cups my face in his large hands. He bends forward and his lips softly touch mine. The electricity is back, but it's intensified somehow and I feel a million little butterflies flying around my tummy. I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck pulling him closer. He uses his right arm to snake it around my waist keeping me pressed to his hard body. I don't know how long we've been standing here kissing, but we are pulled out of our own little world by the pouring rain that is soaking us. We break apart and smile at each other, Tobias resting his forehead on mine.

"That was… wow" I say. My first kiss. And it was with him, with Tobias.

"You can say that again" he says grinning.

"Wow" I repeat and we both laugh.

"We should go back inside."

"Yeah. See you soon?"

"You think you can get rid of me after such a kiss?" he asks with a cocky grin. I shake my head and kiss him again. We hurry inside into our respective cabins and change our clothes.


	9. I don't think your mom likes me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi initiates. Thank you for reading this AU story. I'm really glad you like it. I would love to hear more from you, even if it's a question or a small comment. It tells me how you perceive the story and what you think might happen. So, if it's not too much to ask please leave a comment, no matter how short.
> 
> For those who follow (or not) my other stories I've updated You and Me against the world, there is a new smut in the Kinky Events series, a one-shot Not the end for us that I've posted a while ago and just this morning I wrote and posted a new drabble in Moments we share. Check them out.
> 
> As I've mentioned before there is a secret to this story that I might reveal before the end of it. But for that to happen I want to see if any of you sees where this is going and what this story is about. You don't have to answer this particular question right now, but I'd like you to think about it.

Tobias' POV

It's almost time for school again. Ever since that day at the waterfall Tris and I are inseparable. That same night I asked her to be my girlfriend and she agreed. Our friends teased us for a while, but they were also happy for us. I'm a senior and Tris is a sophomore, but that doesn't bother us. I came to realize that because of her home schooling she is even more advanced in some fields than I am, but lacks knowledge in others. I promised to help her. After we returned from our six week camp it was the beginning of August. I took Tris on several dates, most were to the movies or roller-skating. We also went hiking a few times and I learned many things from her, like how to find my way back in case I get lost or how to figure out if it'll rain or not. In return I taught her all I knew about her teachers and what to expect from certain classes. Her mom tried to convince her to join the cheerleaders but Tris protested. I've told her I wouldn't mind watching her perform during our soccer games and she just laughed. She said even though she would love to spend time with me even during games she would rather join the team and run around like a loony, chasing a ball only to kick it away. She joked she could be our water girl. At that I corrected her telling her that she is only my girl. She smiled and we kissed. Boy, do I like kissing her. For someone who hasn't had a boyfriend before she sure knows how to make me weak in my knees. We haven't done more than kissing and touched each other lightly. If we wouldn't have gone swimming I wouldn't even know how she looked like without clothes on. I mean, with just a bathing suit on. But I'm in no rush. I told her everything about my ex-girlfriends and the few times I had sex. It was more physical than anything and even though I don't regret it completely I wish I would have waited for someone special. For her.

Tris' dad decided to buy her a car. That's why I'm helping her study for the test and give her a few driving lessons. I allowed her to practice with my truck. At first I was nervous. I never let anyone touch my truck, not even Zeke, but she is very careful and listens to everything I tell her. She is actually good at it.

"Did you decide what kind of car you want?" I ask her as she drives carefully down our street. It's so cool that we all live close to each other. We are all in the same neighborhood which makes hanging out a lot easier.

"Yeah" she says vaguely, but doesn't elaborate.

"And?" I ask curiously.

"A tank" she says and I burst out laughing.

"Come on, babe."

"I don't know yet. I wanted to get my license first and then decide" she says. "I also might have thought of begging you to let me drive your truck. I kinda like it and this baby likes me too" she says smiling.

"Nope. This is my baby" I say teasingly.

"I thought I was your baby" she says pouting, although I know she's messing with me.

"You are, babe" I say and lean toward her and press a soft kiss to her cheek.

"I don't know if I want a car. I mean, Caleb has a car and even if he wouldn't drive me to school you could or Christina or anyone."

"What if no one is available?" I ask.

"Tobias, I can trek through unknown terrain for days. Don't you think I could get to school even without a car. Besides, I can always call in sick" she says grinning.

"Nice try, baby. If it ever happens that no one can drive you I'll come and pick you up."

"Aw, aren't you the sweetest" she says and turns to kiss me, paying no attention to the road.

"Babe, watch the road" I say pulling back and she pouts.

"You afraid I might crash us into a dumpster?" she asks mockingly.

"Well, yeah" I say, remembering the first time her dad let her drive. He was sitting shotgun and I was in the back. She mixed up the pedals and crashed into a dumpster. It wasn't that bad for her first time, but both she and her dad realized that the two of them couldn't work together. So I offered to teach her. Mr. Prior made me drive around for a while so that he could see how responsible I am and asked me a million questions first about traffic then about his daughter. He deliberately tested me without her present. He wasn't prying into whatever we are doing in private, although he must have been curious. I can tell that he loves her very much. What he really wanted to know is if Tris gave up on the idea to go to Argentina in November to climb Mount Aconcagua. Tris never mentioned it to me so that's what I told him. He sighed a sigh of relief, but I kept wondering if Tris didn't say anything because she changed her mind or because of what she told me during our first date. It's never good to climb with loved ones. And I'm sure Mr. Prior would go with her.

"That happened once" she defends.

"You're right. But no more kisses until you stop the car" I say and she turns her head toward me briefly, giving me a "are you serious" look.

"Baby, you're the one who can't stop kissing me" she says teasingly.

"Be that as it may, I don't want us to crash and not just because of my truck. I don't want you to get hurt."

"What about you?" she asks with furrowed eyebrows.

"What about me?"

"You could get hurt too" she says.

"I'll be fine."

"Cut the macho crap, Tobias" she says firmly.

"Okay. We both could get hurt. Now, watch the road." We drive around for a while until she decides it's enough for today. She drives to my house and expertly parks the car. She is actually really good at parking. I've noticed she doesn't lack the skill to drive, she is just a little unsure. But with some exercise and my help she'll do just fine.

We get out of the car and I invite her inside. Mom and dad went with Rose to the zoo today, so Tris and I are alone. Even though we aren't doing anything it's still nice to have her up in my room without worrying that either my baby sister or my parents barge in to ask us if we need something. I think it's odd for them to see a girl in my room. All the other girls I went out with never even got close to the house let alone my room. I doubt they even know where I live. But with Tris that's different. I want her not only to know where I live, but to feel always welcome.

Rose loves her. All the other girls in our group treat Rose like a baby, which she kind of is, but not Tris. She treats my little sister with respect and takes her opinion into consideration. She doesn't use silly baby voices and she talks to her like to an adult. Rose thinks she's the best. I think so too.

My mom was a little skeptic of her when I first introduced her to my parents. Obviously dad loved her immediately. I think he would have loved her if she were a hobo living under a bridge as long as I was happy. But mom is different. She wants the absolute best for me, because she still feels guilty for what happened when we still lived with Marcus. But soon enough she got to meet Tris and got to know her. She still thinks Tris could be a little more girly, but they get along well.

I send Tris up to my room, since this isn't the first time she is here she knows the way, and I get us some snacks and drinks from the kitchen. When I get to my room Tris sits on my bed, legs crossed under her looking through one of my books.

"How the hell do you even understand what this means?" she asks pointing at an equation.

"You'll get the hang of it. I'll tutor you" I offer.

"Deal" she immediately accepts.

We decide to watch a movie. We lean against the headboard and I decide to watch Star Wars with her. We've watched them already, all of the movies, but I have no idea what else to watch. Plus, since we already know what's happening she won't mind if I randomly distract her and make out with her.

It's almost seven p.m. when my parents come back. I left my bedroom door open, because the house was empty and I didn't want Tris to think I'm expecting something. I mean I wish we could… you know… but it's fine with me to wait until she's ready. The first person to come into my room is Rose. When she sees Tris she leaps into her arms and hugs her tightly, ignoring me completely.

"Hey, munchkin" Tris says and kisses her head.

"Hey, Tris. Guess what?" Rose asks excited.

"What?"

"I went with mom and dad to the zoo. They have a new animal family there. Yuk" she says and makes a disgusted face. Both Tris and I start laughing and then my parents enter my room.

"Oh, hi, Tris" mom says and Tris says "hi" back.

"Hi, Tris" dad says. "I see my son tortures you with another Star Wars marathon" he says wiggling his eyebrows. I might have gotten the idea from him.

"Not at all, Mr. Anderson" Tris says politely.

"Tris, please call me Clark. I feel so old when you call me Mr. Anderson." Tris blushes and nods.

"Are you staying for dinner, sweetie" mom asks.

"I don't want to intrude."

"Nonsense" mom says. "But we only have pizza" she adds.

"Alright. Thanks."

We go downstairs into the kitchen and I help mom set the table. We sit down and eat a slice each, when Rose remembers she was telling us about her day at the zoo.

"Tris, have you ever seen a yuk" she says the word wrong again and we laugh. "Why are you all laughing?" she asks pouting.

"Sorry, Rose. The word is yak not yuk" Tris explains. "And I haven't only seen a yak I had the pleasure of riding one" Tris tells us.

"Wow" Rose says with wide eyes. "Did they allow you to ride one at the zoo?"

"No. I was in Tibet. They are used to carry loads up mountains" Tris explains.

"I always wanted to go climbing a mountain" dad says.

"I could take you sometime" Tris offers. "But it won't be a tall one. Maybe 2.000 meters tops" she says taking another bite.

"How's that not tall?" mom asks.

"Well I guess it is tall, but not so much for me."

"What's the tallest you have ever climbed?" dad asks genuinely interested.

"Everest" Tris says casually drinking from her soda. I already knew that so I look at my parents who practically choke on their food. Dad coughs a few times before he can breathe again properly.

"Excuse me? You climbed the tallest mountain in the world?" dad asks incredulous.

"I'm sure she's joking, dear" mom says looking from me to dad and then to Tris. "Right?"

"Uh, no. I climbed it in May this year."

"Oh my God" dad says. "That's amazing" he adds and gets up. He walks past mom's and Rose's chair and stands now in front of Tris extending his hand. Tris looks at him and then turns to look at me, not really knowing what's going on. To be honest, I don't know what's going on. "Please, allow me to shake your hand" he says and Tris extends her own. They shake and my dad smiles warmly at her.

"This is awkward, right?" Tris asks turning to look at me again.

"Yeah" I say and eat the last bit of my pizza. Dad sits back down and drinks from his beer.

"Your parents told us that you like climbing, but they never said anything about climbing such tall mountains" mom says.

"Well, they don't always know" Tris says honestly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" mom asks eyeing Tris.

"It means sometimes they know exactly where I'm going other times I might bend the truth" she says and looks away ashamed.

"So, you lie" mom says disapprovingly.

"It's not that I don't want to tell them. I know that they would say no because they want me to be safe. In the end they know they can't stop me and frankly they never did. The reason why I'm not telling is simple: I don't want them with me on the mountain."

"Why not?" dad asks. I know the answer to that question and grab Tris' hand under the table, squeezing it lightly to show her my support. She smiles at me before she turns to look at my dad.

"I usually climb mountains taller than 4.000 meters. On mountains that high or higher a number of things could go wrong. As a mountaineer one must be prepared to…" Tris stops and looks at Rose before she continues "leave someone on the mountain and be aware that one can be left on the mountain." Dad nods, but mom doesn't understand.

"I'll tell you later, honey" dad tells her. "Did it ever happen to you?" he asks Tris and I squeeze her hand. Mom looks confused between dad and Tris.

"A few times. And yes, Clark, it's very hard to do. I don't even want to find out what it will mean to have a loved one there" she says seriously.

"Why is everyone upset?" Rose asks.

"No one's upset, sweetheart" mom says caressing Rose's cheek.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, for making you think we got upset" dad tells her.

"It's okay. Tris, will you take me climbing too?" Rose asks.

"Sure. In the spring we can go to the mountain not far from here. It's not that tall and my dad took me there when I was five. It's nice, but during spring it's a bit warmer. Maybe we can make a weekend trip out of it" Tris says.

"I never went climbing" mom says.

"You should try it out. If you want I can figure out a path for us to take" Tris offers.

"Yeah, maybe" mom says unsure. We then drop the subject and after we all finish eating I walk Tris back home.

"I think your mom doesn't like me much" she says after a while.

"No, she does. She just isn't outdoorsy."

"You sure?" she asks looking up at me with furrowed eyebrows. I lean down and kiss her softly.

"Positive." She smiles and wraps her arms around my neck.

"You know, I really like kissing you" she says grinning.

"I like kissing you too" I tell her. We pull apart and I walk her to her front door. "Tris?" I ask and she stops turning to look at me.

"Yeah?"

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Go ahead."

"Your dad mentioned the other day that you want to go to Argentina in December and he asked if I knew about it" I say. I watch her carefully. She looks at me seriously but I can't figure out what she's thinking.

"Did he tell you to convince me not to go?" she asks.

"No. Do you plan on going?" I ask her.

"Yes" she simply states. I'm a bit surprised.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask her a little too aggressive and she lets go of my hand. "I didn't mean it like that" I quickly say.

"Yeah, you did." She turns around and walks up to her front door.

"Tris, come on" I say.

"Not that it is any of your business, I wasn't sure I was going. If I would have decided to go I would have told you. Good night" she says and goes inside.

"Tris" I shout after her but she doesn't come back out. What the hell just happened? I look dumbfounded at the door. I feel myself getting angry and decide to just leave. If Tris isn't mature enough to talk, then I sure as hell won't stay here and make a fool out of myself. I turn around and start walking home.

"Four, hey Four" I hear Zeke call after me.

"Hey" I say.

"What's up, man?" he asks and starts walking next to me.

"Nothing" I say abruptly.

"Hey, everything alright?" he asks.

"Yeah."

"Come on, Four. I'm your friend" Zeke says. I sigh.

"Tris and I had a fight. Sort of" I say and stop walking.

"What does that mean?" he asks confused.

"A few days ago, when I went for a test drive with her dad he asked me if Tris mentioned that she wanted to go climbing in December. Since she hadn't mentioned anything I told him I didn't know. Tonight I asked her and she said she would go. When I asked her why she didn't tell me she got mad and entered the house."

"Why would she get mad?" Zeke asks as surprised as I am.

"I don't know."

"Girls. They are all crazy" he says. "Wanna hang out? Play some video game" he asks and I nod. We walk to his house and go to his room. All this time we play I keep thinking about Tris and our argument. I really don't get what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Did Tris overreact?
> 
> Does Evelyn think Tris is bad news?
> 
> Will Tobias and Tris break up or solve whatever problem they have?


	10. Relationships are hard

Tris' POV

Ugh. Wasn't it enough that my parents bugged me with this now my boyfriend joins their stupid club? I walk up the stairs and slam the door. I know that mom and dad where in the living room, but I was so upset that I didn't want to talk to them. I go to my stereo and turn the music loud. I get my laptop and IM Scott. It doesn't take him long to answer.

Scott: Hey, Tris. What's up?

Tris: Hey. Can we talk?

Scott: Sure. Who's bugging you?

Tris: My parents, my uncles, my cousin and now my boyfriend.

Scott: I told you I would have made a great boyfriend, if only you would have accepted me.

Tris: Scott, I'm serious. Could you please be serious for a minute?

Scott: Of course. Sorry. So, what happened?

Tris: Aconcagua.

Scott: What about it?

Tris: Mom and dad kept hinting that maybe I shouldn't go in light of recent unfortunate events.

Scott: Have you told them?

Tris: About me nearly dying? Of course not. No one knows, except for you and Amanda. And Amanda won't tell.

Scott: Then what?

Tris: Dad is trying to convince me not to go. He even went behind my back to ask Four if he knew anything about my plans.

Scott: Did he?

Tris: What?

Scott: Your boyfriend, did he know?

Tris: No. We had a fight.

Scott: About your trip?

Tris: Yes. He was angry because I haven't told him.

Scott: Why didn't you?

Tris: It's none of his business.

Scott: That's not true.

Tris: What do you mean?

Scott: You are in a relationship with him. The way you expect him to tell you important things, especially when they regard his safety and well-being, the same way he expects you to do the same. Don't you trust him?

Tris: Of course I do.

Scott: Do you care for him?

Tris: Of course I care for him. A lot actually.

Scott: I know this is new to you, but if you want this relationship to work you need to be more involved and let him be more involved in your life. You were used to this life where you could do whatever the fuck you wanted without answering to anyone. And even though your parents knew enough, we both know they don't know half of it. Listen, if you care for this guy and trust him you need to let him in. I know it's scary, but otherwise neither of you will be happy.

Tris: When did you get so wise?

Scott: Must be the thin air on the mountains.

Tris: Ha ha, yeah, right.

Scott: But seriously, Tris. If you think you can't open up to the guy then maybe you shouldn't be with him in the first place.

Tris: Are you suggesting I should break up with him?

I stop mid-sentence. I read the line I wrote but don't send it to Scott. Do I want to break up with Tobias? No, I care for him. A lot. Oh, who am I kidding? It's more than that. But I'm not ready to admit it yet. What Scott says makes somewhat sense. I would be pissed if Tobias wouldn't tell me if he planned on doing something dangerous. Maybe Scott's right. I am so used to do whatever I want, disregarding others that now it seems like an intrusion when someone actually wants to know these things. Maybe I overreacted. I don't know. I'm so confused.

Scott: You still there. I see you are typing, but nothing came through.

I delete the sentence and write a new one.

Tris: Still here. Kept thinking about what you said.

Scott: Don't do anything tonight. Go to sleep and tomorrow you'll figure it out.

Tris: Thanks.

Scott: No problem. What are big brother's for?

Tris: Yeah. Love you.

Scott: Love you, too, Ice Queen.

I log out and close my laptop. I change into my PJ's and walk into my bathroom and brush my teeth. I feel this strong urge to call or text Tobias, but decide to just leave it for tonight. I have some thinking to do.

I want to go to Argentina. I want to climb Aconcagua. I don't want anyone I love with me. It'll be hard anyways. Scott will be there. And as much as he bugs me I do love him. He has been the big brother I always wanted. No offense to Matt, who is responsible and I love him too, but Scott is just fun. He is like a male version of me. With him I can be myself. He's the only one who gets me. But Tobias is sweet and understanding and even though he doesn't understand this lifestyle he supports me and I can be myself with him too. I never felt the need to hide with him. He knows some of my secrets, things no one else knows. But when he asked me why I didn't tell him about the climb I felt angry that he thought I had to do it. Like he is my boss. No. Tobias didn't ask it like that. When I met his eyes I saw hurt in them. Maybe I did exaggerate. Ugh, I'm getting a headache. This relationship thing is harder than I thought.


	11. We good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi initiates! I'm back. I want to make a huge announcement (well it is for me): I just finished and posted the last chapter of my original novel as part of this year's NaNoWriMo writing challenge. You can find it on my blog christiwind . tumblr . com (no spaces) if you are interested to read it.

Tris' POV

I wake up the next morning still thinking of the fight I had with Tobias. It wasn't even a real fight, more a stupid argument. And I was the stupid part. Scott is right. If I want this to work I need to talk to Tobias. It's not like I'm asking his permission, but he at least deserves to know what I want to do. I know for a fact that he wouldn't come with me climbing, because of his fear of heights. And if for any reason he would decide to come along I would cancel. I don't want to lose him and he isn't nearly prepared to climb such a mountain like Aconcagua. But in this particular moment I realize something. I don't want to lose Tobias. Period. But if I keep acting like a spoiled brat he might leave me. I don't even know why he chose me to begin with. But I'm not ready to find out how my life would be without him. I need to talk to him.

I get out of bed and change into some jeans and a tee shirt. I walk downstairs and eat some toast and pour myself some coffee. When I'm done I go upstairs to braid my hair and brush my teeth. I get my phone and some cash and write a note for my parents. It's still early, but I'm used to waking up at this hour. I decide to wait for Tobias to wake up too. I walk to his house and sit on the steps, waiting for the house to come to life. I play with my phone when someone suddenly stops in front of me. I look up and see Tobias. He is wearing the same clothes as yesterday and he looks at me serious.

"I'm sorry" he says. My eyes widen in surprise and I can't hold back my own apology.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you."

"I shouldn't have been so pushy and meddle in things that don't concern me" he says angry.

"Tobias, no. I was wrong. You have every right to know these things. I overreacted. Can we go some place where we can talk?" I ask, feeling too exposed on his front porch. He nods and we take his car downtown. We stop at a café and go inside. We order a muffin and a coffee each and sit on opposite sides of each other. I swallow past the lump in my throat, trying to gather the courage to look him in the eyes.

"Tris, talk to me" he says and I finally look up.

"I'm sorry, Tobias." He opens his mouth to say something but I raise my hand to stop him. "This has nothing to do with you. I am so used to be on my own that I didn't know how to handle this situation properly."

"Don't you trust me?" he asks serious and I can hear the hurt in his voice.

"I trust you. I am not used to having someone to tell these things to" I say. He looks at me curiously. "I mean, you are the first person I care about and it scares me" I confess.

"What scares you?" he asks curious.

"It scares me that you might want to go with me. Scratch that. It terrifies me" I say and I feel tears in my eyes. "You know why I don't tell people I love about my expeditions. They would come with me and I can't have that. It's bad enough that Scott or other friends are there, but any of you would be too much."

"Will Scott be there too?" he asks.

"What?"

"In Argentina" he adds.

"Yeah, maybe. We haven't really discussed it yet."

"Would you want him there?" he asks.

"Yeah. He knows me, I know him. He is an excellent climber and a great friend" I say and Tobias looks out of the window. I see him grit his teeth and clench his fists. "Are you jealous?" I ask and he looks at me. I can't place the emotions I see on his face.

"There any reason for me to be?" he asks.

"Oh my God, Tobias. Scott and I are friends. I admit we are kind of casual with each other, but that's it. We are just friends. You asked me if I trusted you. But do you trust me?" I ask him forceful and a little loud. He remains silent for a while. "I guess this answers my question" I say and get up. Just as I want to leave and pass him he grabs my wrist.

"I trust you, but it hurts me" he says and I look down to him.

"What hurts?" I ask.

"That you trust him more" he says.

"So, you are jealous."

"Yes. I know you are not that kind of girl to sleep around with guys" he starts saying.

"Especially since I'm still a virgin, but go on." He chuckles and nods.

"And I know that even if he would seek a romantic relationship you are not interested. You are loyal and I appreciate that."

"Then why are you jealous?" I ask sitting down in his lap. He wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on my right shoulder. The tip of his nose brushes against my ear and I shudder.

"I am jealous of that bond you and Scott have" he says.

"Tobias, that bond didn't form over night. It took years and dozens of climbing trips. We have all the time in the world to create a bond of our own."

"Why don't you want me with you?" he asks.

"With me where? The mountain?" I ask. He nods. "First of all, would you even go?"

"I could try."

"But not a big one. Aconcagua is difficult and dangerous. And don't even try to tell me you are a big and tough guy. This has nothing to do with that. What about the height?" I ask him.

"I could learn to handle it" he says smiling.

"This isn't funny. You shouldn't do something you are not comfortable doing."

"I just feel like he knows you, while I'm the newcomer."

"For God sake's, Tobias. He does know me better, because he and I have known each other for much longer. And you are the newcomer, but you know things I haven't told anyone. I feel closer to you than to anyone. And I feel safe with you. I mean really, really safe. I care for my friends, but I can't help but associate them with expeditions and often bad things. I don't ever want to do that with you. I would rather have us fight for a month over silly things, than having you there with me." He looks at me with wide eyes. "That sounded bad. I meant, I don't want you on the mountain with me because you could be in danger and I can't have you that way. I love you and it would kill me to see you suffer. People die, Tobias, and I refuse to lose you" I say and tears stream down my cheeks. Tobias hugs me close to him and rubs my back, while I cry. When the tears finally subside I feel Tobias turn his head and place a kiss to mine.

"I love you, too, Tris" he says and I push away from him. I look at him with wide eyes and he has an adorable grin on his face.

"What did you say?" I ask, not sure I heard him right.

"I said, I love you, too" he repeats.

"You love me?" I ask incredulous.

"Yes, I do."

"I love you too" I say smiling.

"I know" he says and I raise an eyebrow.

"I'm no expert in romance, but quoting Han Solo isn't exactly romantic" I say. He looks at me for a moment before he bursts out laughing.

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant, I know you do, because you told me. Remember, when you gave me your speech. You said you love me and you don't want to see me suffer" he says and now I realize that during my rant I confessed my feelings without even realizing it. Smooth, Tris, really. I blush and he smiles before kissing my cheek.

"No need to be embarrassed. I've known how I feel for you for a while now, but didn't know when to tell you. I always chickened out. And yesterday when we had that fight I thought this was it. Even though Zeke kept telling me that that wasn't even a real fight."

"Tobias, I swear, I was going to tell you, but not until I knew for sure if I was going or not. Yeah, I want to go, but there are a million things that need to be taken care of before I even consider going. I promise, I would have told you."

"I believe you" he says. "But why did you get so defensive when I asked you?"

"Because I'm used to listening to a hundred reasons why I shouldn't go. I just assumed you would do the same. I'm sorry. I overreacted and took it out on you."

"It's okay, I'm sorry too. I should have handled it better. This is all so new to me."

"I know."

"But I do want to be part of your world."

"You are. But promise me you won't try and come with me on an expedition. At least not a dangerous one. There's one thing to go hiking and even climbing nearby, but one of the Seven without proper training can cost you your life."

"I know. But at least talk to me. I promise I will try to understand you better and support you" he says. I cup his face and kiss his lips. He is willing to understand me when I'm this irrational and bitchy.

"Thank you. I promise I will work harder on keeping you in the loop. I promise."

"We good?" he asks and I smile.

"Yeah, we good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Don't forget to review.


	12. What happened on Everest

Tobias' POV

I'm glad Tris and I talked. And I'm happy we finally confessed our feelings to the other. I love her and I can finally tell her that. And the best part: she loves me back. After we left the café I drove her home and we decided to go out for a picnic, just like we did for our first date. I'm currently sitting in my truck waiting for her to come out. The grin on my face hasn't faded since we were in the café. I look toward her front door and there she is coming out, a backpack on her left shoulder and a huge smile on her face. She opens the door to the backseat and throws the backpack inside and then takes her place in the front sitting next to me. Before she buckles up she kisses me forcefully and with passion and I feel myself melt under her touch.

"Let's go" she commands.

"Let's go" I imitate her. We drive for a while until we reach a special place where dad and I used to go fishing. I always loved it here. It's quiet and peaceful. I lay down the blanket and Tris brings both the picnic basket and her backpack. She sits down next to me and smiles.

"I brought you something" she says. She rummages through her backpack and pulls out a big book. She hands it to me and I open it. I now realize it's a photo album.

"What's this?" I ask amused.

"My life" she says serious, but a smile grazes her delicate face.

"Literally?" I ask and she nods.

"There are pictures in there from every expedition I went on. From small family hiking trips to the Himalayas." I look at the first picture and see Mr. Prior and a little girl on his shoulders. Tris. They are smiling and Tris looks happier than I've ever seen her.

One by one Tris tells me the story behind every picture, from happy to sad to exciting and frightening, she tells me everything. She tells me how it felt like to climb all these mountains, what she feared, what she hoped. She told me that when her oxygen tank runs low she keeps herself focused and awake by singing. When I asked her how she is doing that she said she wasn't actually singing, but doing it in her head. Her "I'm out of oxygen song" is "Take my breath away". I laughed, but she assured me this song, silly as it may seem, saved her a few times. She goes on and tells me about the times when she thought she would die and the times she wanted to give up. Scott or someone else motivated her and she continued. She tells me about the times when she was the one trying to motivate someone and that someone wouldn't try to get up. Leaving that person behind hurt her more than she admitted at first and she confesses to having nightmares because of it. And then she gets to May 10th. Everest.

"I was among the first to reach the summit. It was one p.m. when I got there and I was so happy I made it. I radio called base camp and asked Amanda, one of my friends who stayed behind to coordinate things from down there, to call my parents. It was my mom's birthday and I wanted to say hi. By the time Amanda was able to establish a connection to my folks several others reached the top, including Scott and two other of my friends, who didn't make it. When I told my parents where I was they freaked out and I already knew I was in trouble. I mean deep trouble" she says with a chuckle, but she averts her gaze. I know she wants to tell me something bad. I know that she lost friends there, but it seems to me there's something else.

"What are you not telling me?" I ask her tentatively, cupping her face in my palm and turning her head so that she faces me. Tears have gathered in her eyes and threaten to spill.

"There are certain rules we must obey, otherwise our lives are in danger" she continues vaguely. I let her take deep breaths to calm herself. This must be harder than I thought.

"You don't have to tell me if you aren't ready" I reassure her.

"I want to tell you." She closes her eyes and takes another deep breath. "When climbing 8000-ers like Everest you have to make sure you stay on schedule. This applies to every climb, but more so over there. When climbing Everest you need to make sure that you reach the summit before two p.m. That's your maximum point. If you don't start your descent by two p.m. you might not make it to the first camp and implicitly to safety. Around 1:40 p.m. most of us left the summit, but Rob was still heading up with one of his clients who refused to turn around. I tried to convince them to return, but the client wouldn't listen. I even told Rob to leave him" she says and I look at her with wide eyes. She looks down, ashamed.

"I know it sounds awful, but I had to. What they were doing was utter suicide. And I was right. Rob refused to leave his client there alone and I reluctantly left. I told him goodbye and I think we both knew it was for good. I still hoped otherwise, though" she says looking at me again and I see tears rolling down her cheeks. I wipe them away with my thumbs and she gives me a cracked smile.

"I continued walking but I felt tired and sleepy. I checked my oxygen tank and it was running low. I could get a new tank when I reached the camp, but I was still so far away. I focused on breathing and started repeating Take My Breath Away" she says with a chuckle. Her expression changes quickly, however. "But then something happened, something bad. Tobias, you have to promise me not to say anything" she says looking at me with despair in her eyes. I nod, although I'm not sure if I want to hear this or if I could keep it secret if it's really as serious as it sounds. "Mom and dad can never know. The only other person who knows the truth is Scott and I'm sure he will never tell this to anyone" she says. I nod again, hoping she will trust me with whatever she wants to keep from her parents.

"On my way to the camp I looked down into the valley and saw a huge storm approach. I knew I was too far away from the camp and needed to seek shelter, but between a low oxygen tank and a rapidly approaching blizzard I had no idea what to do. I was alone. Even if I would have used my radio to ask for help no one would have made it in time to me with a tank and I doubt anyone would have ventured up there, into the kill zone, during a blizzard. I took refuge in a small cave like ice formation. The cave was north orientated and thankfully the wind blew south-east. I wasn't directly hit, but I could feel the temperature dropping. The wind was too strong for me to leave the safety of my refuge, but I knew that staying there would eventually kill me. I was never so frightened in my life. I was sure I was going to die. There was no chance anyone could have reached me and helped me down. I don't particularly believe in God, but while I was curling into this small ball I started praying, asking a deity I don't believe in to please spare my life. To please let me see my family one more time. To please just let me go home. I felt like crying but I was starting to get dehydrated. I kept rubbing my gloved hands together, creating friction and keeping them warm. I moved my toes as much as I could to keep the blood circulation going. I so badly wanted to just close my eyes, take a nap, fall asleep, forget everything, but doing so would have meant I was going to die. It meant not returning to my family, ever. No one comes up there to retrieve corpses. That would be insane and dangerous. I waited for a while and then started to walk again. It was impossible to see much ahead of you so I took literally baby steps. I slipped several times and almost fell down to my death. By late afternoon I finally reached the camp. One guide from a separate expedition was there helping climbers. I noticed not a hundred meters from the camp three people lying down. I went to check on them, but they were gone. Ironic, isn't it? So close to safety and yet they died, while I walked for hours through the blizzard and made it" she says with a sarcastic laugh, but her eyes tell a different story. They are sad, haunted.

"I rested for the night, drinking as much hot tea as I could, keeping me warm and alive. As soon as day break came I continued. Two people from the other expedition came with me. They were amateurs and while I couldn't help anyone else I was glad I could help them. I felt useful. We reached base camp around one p.m. Amanda and the doctor immediately took care of us, making sure we still had all fingers and all toes attached to us" she says with a chuckle. I try to smile, but the lump in my throat and the hole in my stomach make me feel sick and nervous. "The good doc gave me a strong sedative to keep me from going back, after I heard that one of my friends was still alive and needed help. I thrashed and fought them, but the sedative soon knocked me out. I wanted to open my eyes. I wanted to put on my gear and go back up on the mountain to save Rob and Mikey both. They were my friends and I felt like I betrayed them by choosing my life over theirs. Scott just arrived when I fell unconscious and I didn't wake up until the next afternoon. By then two of my friends and four tourists were gone. Scott was there watching over me the whole time I was asleep and held me while I was mourning our friends' deaths. It was devastating, Tobias" she says and her tears come so quickly that I just let them fall.

I pull her close to me and envelope her in my embrace. I don't know how to help her, how to comfort her. She nearly died, oh God, and then she lost two of her friends. How can she do this? How can she put herself in so much danger? Is it really worth it? Should I say something? Should I voice my concerns? I'm sure she knows all this. But obviously she doesn't care for her own safety if she keeps going back. But what if I asked her to not go anymore? Would she listen? Would she stay put? Or would she hate me for even bringing it up? It's something she loves. And I don't think I've earned the right to ask something like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What do you think of Tris' confession?
> 
> What will Tobias do?
> 
> Will he ask her to stay with him and not return on a mountain expedition?
> 
> Or will he keep his fears and concerns to himself?
> 
> Will the fear of losing her compel him to join her on her expeditions?
> 
> Is he going to open up to her about his past or will he reconsider his own confession for another, less emotional time?
> 
> Stay with me and find out.
> 
> Reviews always welcomed.


	13. Childhood horrors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi there. I will try to update this story every other day, since I have several stories going on right now. In case you are interested I published another multi-chapter story called Divergent Guardian and that one will be updated also every other day, unless something comes up.

Tobias' POV

I now understand why Scott and Tris are so close. They went through so much, so many dangers. I think if it was meant for them to fall in love it would have happened already, regardless of the age gap between them. But it becomes clearer to me that a very powerful friendship is binding them and I shouldn't be such a pathetic shit and question her loyalty, when she never once gave me a reason to. In fact, she more than once showed me the real relationship between her and Scott. It's not conventional, but I guess with the lives they both live conventional isn't exactly the norm.

"I wanted you to know me, the real me" she says wiping away the last of her tears. I look at her unable to put in words what I feel. There are so many emotions: pride that she is so good at what she does, fear that she might get hurt or even die, envy that she has the courage to do this, I still feel a bit jealous of her relationship with Scott. It seems unshakeable, strong. I wonder if the two of us will ever have something like it. I realize that she just exposed herself to me the way no one ever has before. It must have been difficult for her. She told me that no one knows about all her expeditions except her. And now me. I feel my heart swell at the thought that she trusts me that much. She opened up to me, even though it's hard for her. She showed me the real Tris, the one only a few know. Maybe it's time I show her the real Tobias.

"Thank you for sharing this with me" I tell her honestly.

"I wanted you to know me. To see why I don't want you there with me. Not because I don't care for you. It's quite the opposite. But because I want and need you to be safe. I am sure that if you would give up I would too, Tobias. I couldn't leave you there. I love you" she says and new tears threaten to spill. I gather her in my arms again and rock us both and kiss her head, whispering to her that I love her too. I knew that what she did is tough, but I only read the basics about the climbing itself. I had no idea how it felt like to actually be there. I still don't know to be honest, but her story, it made me realize that this is serious and the way she talked made me understand that even though she's young, she is a pro and knows what she is doing. But that doesn't stop me from worrying that one day that might not be enough and she won't make it back. I don't know if I could make it without her. I know we are young and this relationship is new, but I feel closer to her than to anyone in my entire life. When she calms down I kiss her lips softly, pouring every last bit of love I feel into it.

"I want to tell you something too" I say and she nods. "You know that my parents divorced, but I never told you why. My real father, Marcus Eaton, he was abusive with both me and my mom. At first he just insulted her, made her feel like she did everything wrong. Then he started slapping her over the face only to continue to actually hitting her violently, leaving her barely conscious. For years she took it, because she didn't want to hurt me, by making us leave him. She thought I needed my father, but I didn't. At least not one like him. He slapped me a few times and kicked me even around mom, but it wasn't that bad. But then, after I turned nine and he lost his job, mom had to work two jobs to pay the bills. She was barely home. Marcus got drunk and beat me up. Mom barely noticed because she was tired from work or tried to patch herself up after Marcus beat her as well. When I was ten mom got home early because the diner she worked at had to close early because the owners had a funeral to attend and gave the employees the day off. Marcus just finished beating me up and left me in a pool of my own blood and vomit. When mom saw that she called 911. An ambulance took us to the hospital, while the cops arrested Marcus. Social services almost took me away from her, but in the end our lawyer, who happens to be Clark's sister, helped us. She was also the one who introduced my parents to each other" I say ending my story on a happy note. I look at Tris and see her cry. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry" I say.

"Tobias, I'm so sorry. How could he do that to you? His own son. Please tell me he is in jail or dead" she says with a fierce expression on her face.

"He is in jail. Fifteen years."

"Good. But this isn't nearly enough for what he did." I hold Tris and tell her about every time he beat me or locked me in the closet and forgot me there. About the time he gave me dog food to eat, because he spent the money he had from my mom for food on booze. I tell her every last detail of my horrific childhood. Tris cups my face between her palms and presses her lips to mine. When she lets go of my face she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me close to her. We whisper to each other how much we love the other and promise to support each other no matter what. She was right. It takes time to create a bond. And while I'm still a bit jealous of what she has with Scott, the bond that exists and is still developing between us feels real and strong.

We spend the better part of our day here talking about school for a change. The confessions left us both vulnerable and tired and we decided to just let them be for now.

"So, movie tonight?" I ask after a while.

"You mean, make-out session" she says with an adorable grin.

"Something like that. But we could go to the movie theater. You can pick any movie you like."

"Really?"

"Of course."

"Well, there's one I wanted to see."

"Then we'll go to see it. What's it called?"

"Meerkats" she says.

"Is it animated or something?" I ask amused.

"No, it's a fascinating documentary about meerkats" she says with a smile.

"Uhm, okay. If you wanna see it we'll see it" I say, although that's the last thing I would want to see.

"You don't want to" she says pouting.

"No, I do" I say and drink some soda.

"Well, we could either see the meerkat movie or some soft porn later tonight" she says and I spit my soda.

"Come again?" I ask.

"That's not a very good pun" she says laughing. I think for a moment and realize what I asked her. I blush and she laughs even harder.

"Not funny."

"Oh, yeah, it is."

"Yeah?" I ask and pin her down. I hover over her and start tickling her. She laughs harder and louder and begs me to stop. I stop tickling her but don't move.

"Hey" she says smiling.

"Hey."

"I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, too, Tris. It feels so good to be able to tell you this."

"I know. I feel the same way. I never said these words to anyone before. Not like this" she says smiling softly.

"Me neither."

I lean down and capture her lips and we kiss slowly, but deeply. She moans into my mouth and I feel myself getting uncomfortable in my pants. I lift myself slightly and the shift doesn't go unnoticed.

"What's wrong?" Tris asks alerted.

"Just needed to change positions" I say. She looks down and gets a glimpse of the bulge in my pants and blushes violently.

"Uhm, sorry" she says.

"It's okay. I always get excited when I'm with you" I say, trying to lighten things up.

"Maybe we should go home" she says. I would rather stay here, but I'm not sure I could handle this any longer. I nod. Maybe it's better this way. I seriously need a shower. And a cold one at that. I get up and help her up too. We gather our stuff and walk hand in hand to my truck. I drive back rather quickly and stop in her drive way. She gets out and kisses me on the cheek.

"Call me" she tilts her head and smiles. We joked a few times about how people act around each other and how silly some phrases sound. This being one of them. I chuckle and drive to my house. I park the car and hurry upstairs. I take a shower and just as I want to go into my room mom stops me.

"Tobias, can I talk to you?" she asks, her expression serious.

"Sure, just let me put some clothes on" I say. She nods and goes downstairs. I pick out some jeans and a black tee shirt. I put my briefs on and apply some deodorant. I get dressed and head downstairs where I find mom in the kitchen.

"Take a seat" she says still serious.

"What is it, mom?" I ask her worried.

"There are two things I want to discuss with you, both aren't pleasant. I'll start with the less upsetting" she says vaguely. I wonder what this is all about.

"Sure" I say awkwardly.

"I wanted to talk to you about Tris" she says.

"What about her?"

"Did you know all those things about her, about the lies she told her parents?" mom asks disapprovingly.

"Yes" I say and her eyes widen.

"And?"

"And what, mom? It's her decision" I say.

"Don't you think her behavior is odd and unpredictable?" she asks.

"No."

"No?"

"No. Mom, you were here last night when we talked. Didn't dad explain things to you?" I ask her.

"He told me that sometimes people die" she says vaguely.

"Exactly. At first I didn't get it either. But Tris shared her experiences with me" I say, but leave out details. "It's hard for her, but she loves climbing. The reason she isn't telling her parents is not because she is afraid they won't allow her to go, but she is scared her dad or anyone she loves will go with her."

"What's wrong about that?" mom asks confused.

"Normally, I would say nothing. But if something goes wrong Tris won't leave a loved one behind, even if it means she dies." Mom gasps.

"Is it that hard?"

"Yes."

"Why is she doing it then?"

"She loves it, mom. But you should ask her these questions, not me. Can I ask you something?" She nods. "Do you even like Tris?" Mom looks at me surprised. She remains quiet for a while, before a small smile grazes her features.

"Yes, I do. She is a nice girl, somewhat rough around the edges, but her heart is in the right place." I smile at my mother's assessment of my girlfriend.

"Mom?" She looks at me. "I love her" I confess. Mom gives me a knowing look and smiles wider.

"I know. I could tell. You've changed, Tobias. You are smiling more often and you have this carefree vibe around you. I'm glad. Don't get me wrong. I like Tris, but when she said she was lying to her parents I worried that she would lie to you."

"She doesn't. The reason why she lies is to keep them away from danger. From all in her family she is the youngest, yes, but she is also the one with the most experience. She only lies to keep them away from the dangerous expeditions. After she comes back she tells her folks. And obviously she is in a world of trouble for lying. But I guess in the end her parents know that she is careful and that she'll always do her best to come back."

"What if one day something goes wrong?" mom asks. I've been asking myself the same question. These what ifs are killing me.

"We'll deal with them then."

"Tobias, I only want what's best for you" she says getting up and walks to where I sit. She caresses my cheek and I lean into her touch.

"I know, mom. Can we please drop this?" I ask a little anxious to get this over with.

"Sure."

"What was the second thing you wanted to talk to me about?" I ask her. She sighs and closes her eyes.

"It's about Marcus" she says and immediately my heart rate picks up.

"What about him?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady but my nerves are making me tremble.

"He tried to escape two days ago" she says and I feel a hole form in my stomach. Oh God. What if he got out? What if he will come looking for us? What if he will hurt us again? I must have started to show how nervous I am because mom hugs me tightly and I hold on to her for dear life. "They caught him." I look at her and her face is still serious.

"What aren't you telling me?" I ask.

"He tried to escape and he wouldn't listen to the police when they told him to stop running. He had a gun and started firing at them. They retaliated and your father was shot dead" she tells me. She is still holding me, not wanting to let go. And I'm grateful. My father is dead. My torturer is dead. The nightmare is finally over. I feared that when Marcus will be released from prison he will come looking for us. That's why I trained myself to be strong, to be able to fight him. But this won't be necessary anymore.

I stand up and pull my mom into my arms. We hold each other for a long while, letting her words sink in. I don't know for how long we are standing like this in the kitchen, but we are pulled out of our thoughts when the doorbell rings. I pull away from mom and look at the clock on the microwave oven. Damn. I told Tris I would pick her up at three. It's three thirty by now. It must be her. I kiss mom on the forehead and she smiles weakly. I go to our front door and open it. As expected I find Tris standing there. She looks concerned at me.

"Hey" she says.

"Hey" I reply.

"Is something wrong?" she asks concerned.

"Everything is fine now" I say smiling. I pull her into my arms and breathe in her scent. Passion fruit. My favorite fruit.

"You sure you are alright?" Tris asks again.

"I'll tell you later. Come on. Let's go to the movie theater."

Within twenty minutes we are at the movie theater and I buy tickets to some comedy. Tris insisted that we should watch something I would like, but right now a silly comedy is just what I need. I buy popcorn and some sodas, even though Tris insisted on buying her own. But she's my girl and I want to spoil her. We take our seats and wait for the movie to start. I can tell she is curious to find out what bothers me, but I'm in no mood to talk about it. I need to sort my thoughts before I talk about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review.


	14. First day of high school. This sucks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who is reading this story. It means a lot for me as a writer to share my work with people who so passionately enjoy reading. I am no professional, but I do try to give it my best. Each new story starts out as a small idea, a spark in my head that as soon as I start writing turns into a blazing fire. It amazes still that people actually read what I'm writing.
> 
> This year I finished my first original novel and I'm planning to send the manuscript out to publishers. Whether or not my book will be published is somewhat in second place. What really is important, for me, is that I sat down, wrote it, finished it (which is a feat in itself) and put myself out there.
> 
> But that's enough for now. Enjoy this new chapter.

Tris' POV

First day of school. I don't know if I should jump in front of a moving car, hang myself or hold my breath until I faint. The latter might take a lot longer. I wait for Tobias to pick me up. Caleb could have driven me, but Tobias insisted to do it himself. Zeke joked that he just wants to brag with his hot girlfriend at which Tobias nodded grinning widely.

"Morning, beautiful" he says when I get in his car.

"Morning, handsome" I say and lean forward to kiss him.

"Ready for your first day at school?" he asks as he drives off.

"No. Can we please go back? I want to stay at home" I say whining.

"Come on. It'll be fine. I'm going to be there, Caleb, Shauna, Lynn, Christina, Will, Uriah and Marlene" he says listing our friends.

"You forgot Eric, Nita, Peter, Al" I say with a pout.

"Forget them. It'll be fun."

"Easy for you to say. You aren't the new one at school."

"Hey. You won't be the new girl for long. Soon everyone will forget about you. Trust me." I wish.

We soon arrive at school and Tobias parks his car. We meet our friends in front of the school and we all say our hellos. From my peripheral I see Nita strutting around like she's some super model, glancing at us and making a disgusted face.

"What's that skanks problem?" Christina asks. She and I, despite our very different personalities, have become best friends.

"I guess Tris is" Lynn says, glaring at her.

"What? Why me?"

"'Cause our boy Four chose you instead of her" Zeke says grinning.

"That's not my problem" I say.

"Of course not. Ignore her, babe" he says and kisses my cheek.

"Come on, Bee, let's get you to the principal's office" Caleb says. He, Tobias and I walk there in awkward silence. Awkward because one of them was enough to show me to the principal's office. Caleb tries to be my protective older brother, but he and Tobias have been friends for a long time and he knows that Tobias would never hurt me. Especially, not after what he went through with his father.

A few weeks ago, after we had that fight, Tobias told me that his mom told him his father got killed while trying to escape. We talked a lot about it and eventually he broke down and cried. He didn't cry particularly because the man who abused him died, but I think he was overwhelmed by all those emotions.

We reach the principal's office and I introduce myself to the secretary. She hands me my schedule and tells me which locker is mine. Thankfully mine is near Caleb's and Tobias', not that it really matters. I thank her and the three of us leave.

"What's your first period?" Tobias asks.

"Math" I say with a groan. Tobias chuckles.

"Come on. We did some math" he says.

"I hope that's not an euphemism for sex" Caleb says.

"Caleb" I shout.

"No" Tobias assures him.

"Good. My sister is too young for…" Caleb says but Tris kicks him in the balls. "Ow. The fuck, Bee. Why?"

"First, I'm not too young for anything. Two, you are not my dad to forbid me anything. Three, even if dad wouldn't approve, I will have sex whenever the fuck I want. Stay out of my business, Caleb, or I'll kick your ass" she says.

"I'm just looking out for you" Caleb says trying to stand straight again.

"Caleb, I swear, I would never…" Tobias starts saying but I turn around and glare at him.

"If you say touch your sister I'm gonna kick your ass too. This is not his decision, or yours. This is mine and your decision, Tobias. We'll do it when we're both ready. Now, both of you, shut up."

"Okay. I'm just trying to be a good big brother."

"Caleb, just be yourself. I know that dad gave you the talk. I heard him tell you to look out for me. But do you really think Tobias would hurt me?" Caleb looks from me to his friend and shakes his head.

"Tris, he is just trying to protect you" Tobias says.

"From you?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

"From the world. Don't get this wrong, babe. We love you and want to protect you" he says sweetly.

"Love? You guys got to the L-word already?" Caleb asks teasingly.

"Got a problem with that?" I ask.

"Nope. Alright. Sorry, man. I'm glad my sister is with you" Caleb says and he and Tobias shake hands. He leaves us alone as Tobias walks me to my locker. I open it and put what I don't need inside.

"You ready?" he asks.

"Not really."

"You'll be fine. Be brave, my Ice Queen" he says and I smile. Matt and Scott usually use the term to piss me off, but coming from Tobias it's like the sweetest compliment.

"I love you" I tell him. He smiles and kisses me gently on the lips.

"I love you, too."

He walks me to my class and we kiss goodbye. I enter the class room to find the teacher already in there. I introduce myself and Ms. Matthews sits me in the back and gives me a test so that she can see what I know and what I need to improve. Dad already talked to the school and the teachers know I was home schooled for the past two years. So, probably all of my teachers will want to test me. Great. A week full of tests. High school sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What about that? Tris' first day of school... What horrors might be ahead of her?


	15. Icy Tris kicks ass

Tobias' POV

It's lunch and we have all gathered in the cafeteria. We sit at our regular table and we talk about Tris' day so far. She was really upset when every teacher gave her a test. On the bright side, they promised that if she sucked they wouldn't keep the grade on record, but if she does well she already earned a few credits. She tells us about her day so far.

"So far you all are in my classes, but given that we are only half way there" she says pensively.

"It'll be fine, Tris" Christina reassures her.

"Yeah, your first day is almost over" Marlene chimes in.

"What else do you have?" I ask her and she hands me her schedule. "Spanish, geography and PE."

"I have Spanish" Christina says.

"And we are all in geography together" Uriah says.

"Hey, you guys have PE at the same time as we do. That's odd" I say.

"What? Give me that" Shauna says, taking out our schedule. "Yeah."

"Why?" Zeke asks.

"Who knows. Maybe Ms. Jacobs resigned or was fired."

"Who's Ms. Jacobs?" Tris asks.

"The second PE teacher" Marlene says. "I don't think she resigned. I think she got married."

"Same thing" Lynn says sarcastically.

"Does this mean we have a class together?" Tris asks hopeful.

"Yeah" I say smiling.

After lunch we say goodbye and all the seniors head to their science class, while the sophomores head to Spanish or whatever other language they picked. When it's finally time for PE I'm glad that I will see my girl again. I never thought I would miss her so much. The guys and I change in the locker room and I hear a few sophomores talk about the new girl. I listen in to see what they have to say.

"Did you see the hottie?" one of them asks.

"Which one?" another inquires.

"The new girl, Tris" the first one clarifies.

"Oh, yeah. That's one fucking hot chick" the second one says laughing.

"Hey" I growl and realize I wasn't the only one. Caleb stepped up too.

"That's my sister" he says.

"And my girlfriend" I say.

"And our friend" all my friends say.

"Sorry, man. Didn't mean any harm. I was just complimenting her" the first one says a little intimidated.

"Next time choose your words better" Caleb says. We finish in the locker room and head into the gym. Our gym has two separate parts. The usual high school gym with a basket ball field and a secondary room with work out benches and even a fighting ring. Amar, our trainer and even friend, let's us work out here. I look around to find Tris, but apparently neither she nor the others are here yet.

"So, Four, where's your little girlfriend?" Eric asks mockingly.

"Right behind you, jackass" Tris says and even though she's short she stands tall.

"Watch it, smurf" Eric says glaring at her.

"You watch it" I say pushing him away from her.

"Better a smurf, than a ball-less prick" she says.

"You think you are so smart" Eric growls. "Four, you better put a leash on her. She might bite someone."

"Of course I bite. I'm a regular bitch" Tris says mocking him.

"Enough" we hear Amar command. We look at him and Tris turns around to get a look at who spoke. "Eric, how many times do I have to tell you not to mock the newbies?" Amar asks and looks at Tris. "I'll be damned" he says. "Icy Tris" he says with a wide grin on his face.

"Shang-Ri-Mar" Tris says and runs into his open arms. The two hug and laugh and talk and the rest of us just look at them dumbfounded.

"Shang-Ri what now?" Zeke asks and I shrug.

"The fuck are you doing here?" Amar asks her.

"Could ask you the same thing" she says smiling widely.

"Teaching this weaklings some self-defense moves before the boogie man gets them. What about you? Shouldn't you be on a mountain somewhere setting a new record or somethin'?" Amar asks her.

"Been there, done that" she says laughing.

"Did you go for the big one?" Amar asks and while Tris keeps smiling her mood shifts.

"Yeah."

"And?" Amar asks excited.

"Reached it."

"Congrats, baby girl. I knew that you could do it" he says, picks her up and swirls her around.

"Hey, are we going to learn something here or just watch you inappropriately touch one of your students?" Nita asks. I haven't even noticed her until now.

"First of all, watch your attitude. Second, I've known Tris for years and she's like a sister to me. Third, not that's any of your business, but I'm gay. Now, everyone, five laps. Run. NOW" Amar orders. As Tris tries to get in line to run with us Amar stops her and pulls her to the side. While we run the two of them talk. Tris must have told him what happened. I wonder if he too knew the guys who died. When we're done Amar sends half of us to the punching bags, while the other half does push-ups, pull-ups and sit-ups. Again, Tris skips this part and they talk some more. While we warm up, he and Tris go to the middle of the room where the ring is and face each other. They soon start sparring and I stop my sit-up and watch them.

"Hey, Four, your girl some kind of a kick-boxer?" one guy from my year asks. I ignore him and watch her. She is focused and watches Amar's every move.

"Hey, Tris, leave the fighting to us men" Peter shouts. Tris looks up and flips him off. At that some of us start laughing but Peter gets angry.

"Peter, come here" Amar calls him over. Peter reluctantly walks over to them. Amar tells him something and Peter takes Amar's place. What the hell? Amar can't be serious.

"Amar, what are you doing?" I ask walking toward him.

"Letting them fight" he simply states.

"But you can't."

"Yeah, I can. Fight." I look from Amar to the ring and back to him. "Oh, and Tris? Don't break him" Amar adds. I think I'm not the only one who thinks that Amar lost his mind.

"If you cry I promise I won't hit you too hard" Peter says to Tris.

"Are we fighting or waiting for our periods to coincide?" Tris asks sarcastically.

"You tell him, girl" Shauna shouts.

"You are going to regret this" Peter says.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah" Peter says and charges. I have no idea what happened next, but all I can see is Peter taking out to punch, Tris grabbing his arm, turning around and throwing Peter over her shoulder outside of the ring. We all look at them shocked. What just happened?

"Woohoo" Amar cheers. "That's the Trissy I know."

"What the hell was that?" Zeke asks.

"I have no idea" I say stunned.

"Bee, where did you learn to do that?" Caleb asks.

"Matt. Scott. Amar. Basically every guy who felt he could be my surrogate big brother" she says smiling.

"Tris can really kick ass" Amar says. "So, who's next?"

"Amar, you can't be serious" I say.

"Relax, Four. Tris hasn't lost a fight since she was nine" Amar says.

"What?" Caleb asks in disbelief.

"I want to see that" Eric says. He charges toward the ring and when I try to go after him Amar stops me.

"What the hell? I can't let them fight" I say angry.

"You can and you will" Amar says sternly.

We watch Eric and Tris rounding each other. Every time Eric makes an abrupt move to scare Tris she doesn't even flinch, which in turn makes Eric angry. He is used to people cowering away from him. But this petite girl just stands her ground. Eric takes out and tries to punch Tris but she blocks his arm. He steps back and kicks, but Tris avoids him. They repeat this several times and each time Tris blocks or avoids a blow Eric gets angrier.

"What? You not fast enough?" Tris asks mockingly.

"Tris, don't play with your prey" Amar says jokingly. Prey? Does he seriously suggest Eric is the prey, while Tris is the predator?

"Alright" Tris says and her expression changes from jovial to lethal. Eric takes out to punch her again, but she blocks his fist, twists his wrist, jumps up and in one fluid movement snakes her legs around his throat, turning him around and making him lose balance which causes him to fall backwards on the ground. Tris has her legs still around his neck pinning him down. She leans toward his ear and whispers something. At first Eric looks angry and tries to get out of her grip, but while she whispers his expression changes from furious to scared. I've never seen Eric be afraid of anything. What could she have told him?

"That's enough" Amar orders. Tris looks up and smirks triumphantly and let's go of Eric. She stands up and walks away, while Eric tries to catch his breath. "Eric, you are dismissed for the rest of the class. You can wait outside on the field for soccer practice." Eric nods and leaves the room. Nita runs after him.

"What the hell was that?" Zeke asks Tris.

"What?" she asks innocently.

"What are you? Some sort of Karate Kid?" Uriah asks.

"Sort of" she says laughing.

"That was so awesome" Lynn says. "Can you teach me some moves too?"

"Don't you have Amar for that?" Tris asks.

"Hey, I just teach basics here. Apparently it's not okay to beat up your students" Amar says and Tris raises an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"In school" he adds grinning.

"Am I missing something?" Caleb asks.

"Amar used to beat the shit out of me to make me learn" she says.

"Come on. You are resilient. Unlike these weaklings. BACK TO WORK" he barks. I look at Tris and she smiles at me.

"Come. Let me tell you the story of how I met Amar" she says and we head to the punching bags. We stand next to each other and Tris starts punching while I watch her. "I met Amar a few years ago. His boyfriend, George Wu, is the brother of Matt's girlfriend, Tori. He and Tori went to school together and we knew each other for a long while. George is a mountaineer like me and Matt and occasionally Amar would join us. We've become friends rather quickly" she says.

"Oh" is all I say.

"I had no idea he is teaching here" she says punching the bag like a pro.

"He is also our coach" I say.

"Really? Amar?" she asks and smiles. "That's great. He always talked about becoming a teacher and he loves it."

"He is really good at it too" I say, not knowing what else to say.

"Did that freak you out?" she asks after a while, stopping what she was doing and looking at me.

"What do you mean? The fight?" I ask and she nods. "I was scared that you might get hurt. I knew you can defend yourself, you told me, but I had no idea how good you are."

"I made it a priority to be good. Sometimes I go places by myself and I need to be capable of defending myself if necessary. I never picked a fight and I'm always responsible. What you saw is nothing compared to what I'm actually capable of. I trained with Matt and a few of his Marine friends. They are tough and at first they held back, because I'm younger and a girl, but I soon got stronger and they finally started fighting for real. I took beatings enough times, but it's okay. I learned and now I can defend myself against all kinds of attacks."

"It's just weird" I say. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad and proud of you, but looking at you I imagine this fragile being only to be literally kicked in the nuts by how strong you are, physically and emotionally. I wish I had your strength."

"You do. Hey, let's spar" she suggests.

"NO" I say forceful and she raises an eyebrow,

"Why not?"

"I don't want to hurt you" I say.

"Tobias, come on. You saw what I can do. Besides no one said we should fight for real" she says.

"Tris, I don't want to hurt you. I'm stronger than Eric" I argue.

"Alright" she says disappointed. "But you'll have to make it up to me" she says leaning close and whispering seductively. I feel warmth spread through my body and try not to get aroused.

"Tris" I say in a low, husky voice. Damn.

"Relax, baby. I don't want your blood pressure through the roof" she says smirking. She did that on purpose.

"You'll pay" I say jokingly.

"I hope so" she says winking.


	16. Is this your first time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I want to thank each and everyone of you who reads and reviews this story. It means so much to me that you are involved in this. This story is very dear to me (all of them are, but this one even more). I would like to know more about what you think.

Tris' POV

It's been a month since school started. I still don't like it much, but it's better with my friends here. Since that first day when I learned that Amar is my PE teacher I made it a point to meet with him and George. So, for a few times George, Matt and I met to talk mountains and then we went out with our significant others. Tobias was uncomfortable the first time, but that was only until Amar joined us. By now he and Matt get along well and to my surprise Tori was the tattoo artist who did his tattoo. From then on everything seemed to be more relaxed between us.

Last week Christina dragged me and the other girls to go dress shopping for the Homecoming Dance. I didn't think it was that important and at first I didn't want to go. Tobias was very sweet about it. He asked if I even wanted to go and then he asked me to go with him, formally, just like the gentleman he is. The dance is in two days from now and I had to promise Christina to give me the whole girly experience, whatever that means. On Friday the teachers allow us a half day because of the dance and apparently all the girls need to get ready. I can't understand what could possibly take that long to get ready.

"Hey, babe" Tobias says as he sits down next to me at our lunch table.

"Hey" I say. He kisses me softly and rests his forehead on mine.

"How was your day so far?" he asks.

"Did you hear about Peter?" I ask.

"Yeah" he says.

Peter, being his usual asshole-self, commented that I lived so long on mountains that I didn't know how to act around people. He is still pissed because I beat him up and tries to salvage whatever bully reputation he had. Uriah immediately stepped in and defended me and when Peter commented that I probably give Uriah sugar, Uri punched him in the face. Fortunately, no teacher was around to see that and Uriah isn't in trouble right now.

"Uriah was really brave and helpful" I say looking at my friend.

"Hey, you are like a sister to me. What are big brother's for?" he asks grinning.

"You know, I'm really glad Four didn't see me as a friend. I have this thing about me that makes all the guys wanna be my brothers and uncles" I say and they both laugh.

"I couldn't see you as my sister even if I wanted to" Tobias says and kisses my temple.

"I'm glad. I have way too many brothers" I say with a chuckle and both guys laugh. Soon the rest of our friends sit down and we discuss the dance. Again. I'm so tired of this. I lean against Tobias' shoulder and he wraps his arm around my waist.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah. This talk about the dance is just so boring" I say and he chuckles.

"Tell me about it" Zeke says having overheard us.

"Don't let Shauna hear you say that" Tobias tells his friend.

"God, no" he says looking panicked at his girlfriend.

"I just can't understand why they get so excited" I say.

"That's because you are cool" Zeke says whispering.

"Sometimes I wish I was normal like them" I say sighing.

"You are normal, babe" Tobias says. "You are just not that into dancing and parties."

"That's not it. I can dance and God knows I know how to party. Although the parties I usually go to end up with everyone half-naked and shitfaced."

"What kind of parties are these?" Zeke asks interested.

"Usually on mountains" I say.

"Damn. I really should start mountain climbing" he says and both Tobias and I laugh.

"What's so funny? Did you even hear what I said?" Shauna asks Zeke angrily. Oops. He turns around and tries to save his ass.

"That true?" Tobias asks.

"About the parties?" I ask looking up at him and he nods. "Yeah, kind of. Sometimes we get really drunk and really naked" I say grinning.

"You're lying" he says amused.

"Maybe. There's only one way to find out" I say.

"Yeah?"

"You need to join us sometime. Not for a big climb, but maybe a few days hike. What do you say?" I ask him.

"Sure. But only if you want me there. I don't want you to invite me because you feel obligated" he tells me serious. I lean up and kiss his jaw, the stubble tickling me.

"I want you to come. I wouldn't have asked otherwise" I reassure him. He nods. "How about we go for a little hike ourselves? We can leave Saturday morning and come back Sunday evening. It wouldn't be a long hike, but we would be together and alone. There is this cabin I know that we could rent" I tell him.

"You really want that? You and me alone?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah. Why is that so odd?"

"I don't know."

"I wanted you to experience it firsthand and I know how awkward it is to be the new person in the group. We could invite Matt and Tori or George and Amar, but the cabin is a one-room place and I really wanted to be alone with you." I tell him and try to keep a straight face. I know he never asked me and he never even hinted, but I'm sure he wants us to be together. I've been ready for a while now and I know I can trust him completely and I love him. But we never had the chance to be alone. I'm no fool. My first time won't be as magical as advertised in the romantic movies, but with Tobias I'm sure whatever pain I'll feel it'll be worth it.

"Okay. I'd love to do that. Are your parents okay with that?" he asks.

"Yeah. I talked to dad and told him I wanted to take you out for a hike and I checked the weather forecast for this weekend and everything seems to be alright. But we need to make the reservation. So, you in?" I ask and he nods eagerly. "Good. I'll call right now" I say and get up.

I leave the cafeteria since it's very loud in there and head into the hallway. I make the reservation and the person on the other end tells me to pick up the key this afternoon. I already know where the agency is and decide to either ask Tobias to drive me or lend me his truck. Thankfully, I got my license and Tobias isn't afraid of letting me drive every once in a while. I even return the truck with a full tank, even though he says I don't have to. I go back inside and sit down.

Tobias unfortunately has soccer practice and can't come with me, but he hands me his keys and even though I insist on picking him up after practice he says Caleb will give him a ride back.

The rest of the day is pretty much as any other school day. Between the girls talking about the dance, the guys groaning because they have to wear suits and the usual boring classes I find the routine soothing. When classes are over I head to the parking lot and get into Tobias' car and drive downtown to the agency to pick up the key. The woman there makes me pay upfront which I already knew and makes me fill a form. Once everything is done she hands me the key and we shake hands. I go outside and a store across the street catches my eye. I've seen it before but it never made me spare it a second glance. It's a lingerie store and for the first time I feel the urge to head inside. So, that's what I do. I cross the street and enter it. I walk around the aisles aimlessly, looking at all the tiny little outfits. They have everything anyone could imagine: from white to black every color in between, lace, satin, corsets, thongs, boxers, even French maid costumes. After walking through the entire store a sales woman takes pity of me and comes over to help me out.

"How can I help you?" she asks friendly.

"Uhm, I don't know" I say honestly.

"Is it fair of me to assume you want to impress a gentleman?" she asks, giving me a knowing look.

"Yeah" I say.

"Alright. What color do you like?" she asks.

"Black" I answer. I've noticed Tobias wears a lot of black. And it's a neutral color. And every commercial I've ever seen the models wear black underwear. That's gotta mean something.

"Alright. Let me see what we have" she says and walks around, glancing backwards at me every once in a while. "Here" she says handing me a black lace push-up bra and a matching thong.

"Okay?" I say, although it comes out more as a question.

"Is this your first time?" she asks and I blush violently. How could she know that?

"Ex-Excuse me?" I ask stuttering.

"Is this the first time you buy yourself lingerie?" she repeats, being more specific. Oh, that's what she meant. I nod. "Okay, no need to be embarrassed. Go try it on" she says pointing toward the changing booths "and I'll look for a few more outfits." I go in the indicated direction and step inside a booth. I take my jacket off, my boots, my pants, my shirt. I'm standing in my plain cotton underwear and look myself up and down. This is odd. I quickly change out of my own underwear and put the lacey undergarments on. I look at myself again and it seems like a different person is staring back at me. It's like a different person suddenly replaced Tris with this sexy underwear model. Damn, I look good. I admire myself in the mirror, when someone knocks on the door. "I've brought you a few more to try on. You can pick which one you like best" the sales woman says. I thank her and wait for her to leave. I open the door and pull whatever she brought me inside. She brought me two more outfits. A black satin corset with a cord around the middle that has rhinestones all over it, a see-through bodice with lace that covers my breasts, another thong and a pair of boxers. Everything looks great, even more so after I try it on. I feel confident in the lingerie. I feel beautiful. I feel sexy. I look over the price tags. Wow. That's a lot of money. I don't have that much. I look over every piece and try to combine what I'll ultimately buy. I decide on the lace-cup, see-through bodice and a lace thong. I would have loved the lace bra and boxers as well, but it's just too much money. I get dressed and take what I wanted to the billing desk.

"Just these two items" I say with a smile.

"Didn't' you like the other things I brought you?" she asks.

"No, I did. It's just, I don't have that much money. Maybe some other time" I tell her.

"What did you like?" she asks as she puts my purchase in a bag.

"The black lace bra and the boxers. The corset looked good too, but the rhinestones aren't my thing."

"Oh" she says. "Please, wait here a moment" she asks and goes into the back. When she comes back she has a similar bag in her hand as the one she gave me earlier. "Here, this is for you. On the house" she says and hands me the bag. I look inside and see the bra and boxers I couldn't afford.

"I can't accept this" I say and give the bag back.

"No, please, my treat. Take it as a long term investment" she says and I look at her questioningly. "Maybe if these items will help you, I guess with your boyfriend, you might come back in the future and buy some more" she says. "So, you see, it's just a marketing strategy" she says smiling, but I can tell that's not it.

"Thank you" I say.

"You're welcome."

I head outside and go to the car. I leave the bags on the backseat and drive home. I park Tobias' car in his drive way and gather my things. Caleb isn't home yet, which means Tobias isn't either. I lock his car and go home. I deposit the lingerie in my underwear drawer and start doing my homework.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Reviews always appreciated.


	17. Rumors and lies

Tobias' POV

It's six p.m. when we finally arrive home. I find my car parked in the drive way, which means Tris is at her place. I run upstairs to take a shower, since Caleb had to be home by six and skipped the shower at school. I finish in the bathroom and head into my room just in time to answer my phone. I smile when I see Tris' picture appear on the screen announcing she is the caller.

"Hey, babe," I say.

"Hey," she replies. "You tired?" she asks.

"A bit. Why?"

"I was wondering if you could help me with my algebra homework," she says sighing.

"Sure. I'll be right over."

"No, I'll come to you. Did you eat anything?" she asks.

"Not yet."

"Do you want me to bring you something? Mom made eggplant parmesan with garlic bread. You want some?"

"Yeah. Sure. But I'll come over."

"You sure?" she asks. She sounds like she doesn't want me there.

"I mean if it's okay with you," I say apprehensive.

"Of course it's okay."

"I'll be right there. Love you."

"Love you too," she says and hangs up. What was that? It really sounded like she didn't want me there.

I get my own homework and leave a note on the kitchen table for my parents to know where I am, although they know I'm either with Tris or Zeke. I walk the short distance to the Prior's house and knock on the door. Tris opens it smiling. She pulls me inside and kisses me fiercely. I let my books fall to the ground and wrap my arms around her, pulling her closer, leaving no space between us. When we part we are both breathless and smile goofily.

"What was that for?" I ask her.

"I've missed you," she says. "Come on. Let's go upstairs."

"Shouldn't we stay here? I don't think your dad will be pleased if we lock your door again," I say with a chuckle. A couple of weeks ago Tris and I were home alone and even though we didn't go all the way we were both in our underwear and making out on her bed. I think if it wouldn't have been for her dad knocking on the door we would have had sex. We quickly got dressed and Tris managed to sneak me out. She told her dad she wanted to be alone and that's why she locked the door. She says he believed her, but the next day he was eyeing me suspiciously.

"Don't worry. I won't take advantage of your innocence," she says giggling. I laugh at that and follow her upstairs after picking up my books.

"I thought you would feed me some of your mom's famous eggplant," I say jokingly.

"I am. It's upstairs. First you help me with algebra, then you get to eat," she says looking over her shoulder, a mischievous grin on her face.

"That's called blackmail," I say.

"Good thing you love me," she says laughing.

"Yeah. Good thing."

I help her with her homework and when she gets the hang of it I sit on her bed eating dinner. When I'm done I want to take my plate downstairs, but Tris insists she will do it later. I leave it on her nightstand and start reading the history chapter for tomorrow's oral test.

Around nine p.m. we are both exhausted and even though I would love to stay with her I decide to go home. We have a tough morning tomorrow and I want to be rested. I kiss her goodbye, lingering for a while, before I finally head back home.

The next morning I wake up even before my alarm goes off. I get up, do some push-ups and sit-ups and take a quick shower before eating my breakfast. I text Tris that I'll be out in ten minutes and she quickly replies that she will be there too. I smile and eat my cereals.

On our way to school Tris asks me questions to test me for my history exam, while I do the same asking her all kinds of things about algebra. Thankfully, the day is pretty much uneventful and by lunch we all gather in the cafeteria. Today we don't have soccer practice which is a bit of a relief. These past few weeks Amar pushed us harder than ever since next Thursday our team will go up against last year's State's champion.

"How did you do on your test?" Tris asks me and my classmates. Most of us groan. "That bad?"

"It was okay," Shauna says unconvincingly.

"What about you?" she asks me directly.

"Got a B," I say.

"That's good," she says smiling. "Isn't it?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired from studying last night," I tell her.

"Did you continue even after you left?" she asks.

"Yeah, for a while. What about algebra?" I ask her. She groans.

"Sucks. But I got a B minus. Thanks for your help. It would have been an F otherwise. I just don't get it," she says pushing her tray away.

"You are much better, baby. You just need to focus and pay attention," I encourage.

"Yes, sensei," she says and bows. I laugh at that.

"Sensei?"

"Yeah. You are like my algebra-sensei, you know, if algebra would be a martial art," she says chuckling.

"Alright. Then you can call me Master-san," I say with a grin, which makes her raise an eyebrow.

"Master? Aren't we full of ourselves," she says punching my arm lightly.

"You don't like it?" I ask with a straight face.

"Oh, you still have to earn the title," she says smiling.

"Tris," Christina shouts startling us.

"What?" Tris asks irritated.

"Did you even hear a thing I said?" Christina asks angrily.

"Of course," Tris says smiling but then her expression turns sour "not. I was lost in my boyfriends eyes," she says cocky.

"Ugh, you two disgust me," Christina says jokingly, although she was our strongest advocate.

"You are just jealous," Tris says. "What up, buttercup?"

"Homecoming," Christina says and Tris groans.

"Is there anything else in this universe that interests you besides that stupid dance?" Tris asks her.

"It's not stupid. It's very important," Christina defends.

"Yeah, right," Tris says bored.

"Just because you never lived among girls and don't know anything about dresses and make-up doesn't mean that the rest of us are the same," Christina says angrily.

"Like that's so important," Tris bites back.

"It is. You could be such a babe, but you dress like a thirteen year old boy, no make-up, no nothing. Do you know that all the girls in school think you only landed Four because you learned some freaky hooker skills on those mountain trips," Christina says.

"Christina," Shauna shouts angrily.

"What? It's true."

"Christina," Tris says standing up "that's enough. It is not my fault people are so close-minded and stupid around here. Maybe if they would go out of this suffocating city they would actually see that no one, absolutely no one, gives a fuck about them or their opinions. It is no one's business if I landed Four because I'm a sinner or a saint. Besides, those who spend so much time dwelling on it are just jealous that the freak who came down from the mountain claimed the hottest guy in school. I don't care what people think, because newsflash their opinions don't matter to me. My friends' opinions do matter. But if you think the same, Christina, as these girls then maybe you and I aren't really friends."

Tris picks up her things and leaves the cafeteria leaving everyone with their mouths hanging open. I look after Tris who walks calmly through the rows of tables and exits the room. I look back at Christina and glare at her.

"What the fuck?" I ask her.

"I didn't mean it," Christina says defensively.

"Yeah, you did. Otherwise you wouldn't have said that," Shauna says.

"Why didn't you tell her before?" I ask.

"And what should I have said?" Christina asks angry.

"Maybe the same you just did, but in private," I say just as angry.

"I wasn't the only one who knew," she says looking around and all the girls look away.

"Seriously?" I ask. "You know, the phrase with friends like these who needs enemies comes to mind," I say, get up and leave. I go out to look for Tris. I know she has chemistry next so I go up to the lab, but she isn't here. I wonder if I should just wait here or keep looking, but the way Tris left the cafeteria makes me think she won't come back. I walk aimlessly through the halls until I get to the gym. Maybe she came down here. I walk in and hear someone punching a bag. My heart starts beating faster and I start running toward the bags. But to my misfortune it isn't Tris who is punching the bags, but Amar.

"Hey, Four. What's up?" he asks stopping what he was doing and taking a sip from his water bottle.

"Have you seen Tris?" I ask.

"No. Wasn't she in the cafeteria for lunch?" Amar asks looking at his watch.

"She was, but she had an argument with Christina," I tell him.

"Oh, relax. Girls always fight about stupid things," he says dismissively.

"I don't think this will be fixed easy. Did you know that the girls in school think that Tris is…" I stop myself, unable to speak the word out loud.

"A whore?" Amar asks. "Yeah. I heard the rumor. But I can assure you it isn't true. I've known Tris for years. That's not her."

"I know that, Amar. Where could she have gone?" I ask looking around frantically.

"There are two options. She either went home or she climbed a mountain. Since a mountain isn't a close enough option at the time I guess she went back home."

"She came with me this morning and I haven't seen Caleb giving her his car keys," I say.

"Four, the girl can walk for hours up mountains. Do you really think she needs a car to get somewhere?"

"Uhm…" I say unsure.

"Trust me If she went home she went by foot. But you should leave her be. She needs time to think if she's pissed. She is a hot-head. She'll calm down eventually. Besides don't worry about her. Worry about your friend who pissed her off. Although, I never saw Tris hit someone who is weaker than she is. But she did beat the shit out of Scott once," Amar tells me.

"Did he deserve it?" I ask, even though I'm fairly certain I know the answer.

"What do you think? Of course he did. He played Latin lover with her and Tris was too drunk to tolerate him. We actually had to restrain her," he says with a chuckle. By the expression I must have had on my face Amar bursts out laughing. "God, you are easily fooled. She did beat Scott, but we didn't restrain her."

"Okay, but seriously now. Do you really think she went home?" I ask him.

"Yeah," he says serious.

"I'm going after her."

"Leave her. If she wanted to talk to you she would have answered your call," Amar says and I feel like a wall of bricks just hit me. "You called her, right?" I shake my head no. "God, you are dumb. Give her a call. If she doesn't answer it means she wants to be left alone. Tris always answers her phone, unless she needs time to think." I thank my friend and head outside to the parking lot. It's already time for the next period but I don't care. Tris needs me and I won't leave her alone. How can anyone think those vile things of her? And how can our friends, her friends, not tell her? Or at least me. I had no idea that people thought those things of her. I call her cell, but she doesn't answer. I leave her a voice message and just sit in my truck. Maybe she didn't hear her phone ring and she will call me back once she listens to the message. I spend the remainder of the period in my car glaring at my own phone, trying to make it ring, but it remains silent. The next period I have PE again. I go into the boys' locker room and change. Tris obviously wants to be alone and I don't want to push her. My friends fill in one by one all of them avoiding me. They know I'm pissed and don't want to talk about it. But as usual one of them has a death wish. This time it's Will, Christina's boyfriend.

"Four, man, Christina didn't mean it like that," he says.

"Really? How did she mean it? And I'm not only speaking of the rumor, but also about her attitude. Tris isn't like other girls, she doesn't like the same things. Up until now she hasn't said anything to any of the girls," I say and walk out into the gym. The guys follow me outside and I avoid looking at Christina when I spot her next to the girls.

"Four," she says coming after me.

"Christina, just leave me alone," I say trying to remain polite.

"Four, it's not my fault. I didn't start the rumor," she says in her defense.

"Christina," I growl and turn around. "Don't you get it? You are pushy. Tris isn't into this girl crap you like. She kept her mouth shut because she likes you and didn't want to upset you. Did it ever cross your mind that Tris felt uncomfortable? No, of course not. You didn't see her as your friend, but some guinea pig, an experiment. You wanted to turn Tris into a blonde version of you," I say.

"That's not true," she shouts.

"Four, I think that's enough," Will says serious. I glare at him.

"No, it's not enough. Did any of you ever consider how difficult it is for Tris? She came here and had to adjust immediately. Do you even know what she went through? Do you? Any of you?" I ask angry.

"How can we, Four? She doesn't talk to anyone," Caleb says.

"That's not true," Lynn says. "I often talk to her. And I'm sure Four knows all about it, too," she says and I nod.

"What do you know?" Caleb asks angrily.

"A lot. For starters, even though it's not a secret, Tris doesn't like to brag. Did any of you bother to ask her about her hobbies?" I ask.

"She likes hiking and mountain climbing," Christina says confidently.

"Yeah. Do you know what that means? Do you know the training behind it?" I ask. They all look away sheepish.

"Did you guys know Tris went to the South Pole?" Lynn asks and they stare at her shocked.

"What? Why would she go there?" Zeke asks.

"To climb the tallest mountain there," I say.

"Or did you know she and her dad climbed the tallest mountain in Australia?" Lynn asks.

"Really?" Marlene asks surprised.

"Did any of you know why her parents made her stay put this year?" I ask.

"She screwed up," Caleb says.

"But do you know the reason?" I ask and he shakes his head. "Because she forged your parents' signature and went to Nepal to climb Mount Everest," I say. They all look shocked. A girl behind me starts laughing. I turn around to find Nita laughing hysterically. "What's so funny?" I ask glaring at her.

"Tris, Mount Everest," she says laughing uncontrollably.

"It's not a joke," I say angry.

"Yeah, right. Not only is she a whore, but she is also a lying whore," Nita says with a snarl.

"Take that back," I say and get in her face. She flinches and takes a step back.

"That's enough," we hear Principal Reyes shout. Everyone in the gym turns to look at her. "Mr. Eaton, take a step back," she says glaring at me. I do as I'm told. "Can I have everyone's attention, please. Earlier today I was informed of a vile rumor about one of our students. Some of you might know what I'm talking about. I want to assure you that what you heard is a lie and I hope the one responsible for this rumor will stop spreading such hurtful and more importantly untrue things. As for you, Ms. Alvarez, you couldn't be more wrong about Ms. Prior. I was told that Beatrice is modest about her accomplishments but maybe you should know a few things about her. Among many records she has set during her life, Ms. Prior conquered the tallest mountain in the world, at just fifteen years old. For those who skipped geography I'm talking about Mount Everest in the Himalayas. Ms. Prior did something extraordinary which most of you don't even know. I'm not telling you this to praise her over you, but I think you should know not to judge a person solely by appearances. You might be surprised what lies beneath them." With that Principal Reyes leaves the gym. The moment she is outside everyone starts talking, asking questions, wanting to know more.

"Did you know that?" Caleb asks me accusingly.

"Yes," I say. He looks at me hurt and then his expression changes to anger.

"Why wouldn't she tell me?" he asks.

"Did you ever show any kind of interest in her life? Did you ever ask her anything?" I ask getting in his face.

"She never talks about it," he says unconvincingly.

"Come on, Caleb. That's a lame excuse. Maybe all of her friends," I say and look around "should spend some time and get to know the real Tris Prior, instead of whatever image you have of her." I leave the gym, ignoring everyone and run toward the locker room. I change into my street clothes and pick up my backpack. Just as I'm heading toward the parking lot I get a text. I read it and sigh in relief when I realize it's from Tris.

Please, come to my house. I need you.


	18. Proud and scared all at once

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I want to thank all of you who read this story. It's amazing how many followers this story has, how many people review and add it to their favorite list. Thank you so much.

Tobias' POV

I hurry to get to Tris. I'm angry that Christina hurt her, I'm upset that her brother and friends don't really know the amazing person she is, I'm pissed with Nita for saying these awful things about her, I'm glad our principal revealed some of the great things she did, I'm hurt that Tris didn't call me sooner, but I'm glad she called me in the end. I park my car in my drive way and hurry to the Prior's house. I knock on the door and Tris opens it. She looks like she'd been crying. I pull her in my arms and hold her close. I breathe in her scent and I instantly calm down.

"Let's go to your room," I say and we walk upstairs, my arm securely around her. She keeps her head low, as if she is ashamed, even though there's nothing she has to be ashamed of. We go inside her room and she sits down on her bed. I sit next to her and she leans against my shoulder. "I'm sorry for what happened," I say. I am.

"It's not your fault. I overreacted and when I came to realize that it was too late. And I'm sorry it took me so long to text you," she says still looking down. I wrap my right arm around her keeping her close and hold her hands in my left one.

"No, babe, you didn't. You are different and Christina should accept that and not try to change it. As it happens, I really like this Tris and not some Barbie doll version of her," I say with a chuckle and she laughs lightly.

"Thanks. What about that rumor?" she asks.

"What about it? Someone who is jealous made up some fucked up lie to hurt you. But anyone who knows you knows that it isn't true. Tris, you are amazing, kind, loving, smart and funny. I pity everyone who doesn't know this already. I love you," I tell her and she finally looks up, tears streaming down her face. "Don't cry, baby." I lean down and kiss her softly. She wraps her arms around my neck and I hold her tightly. I let her cry and lean back on her bed. This isn't the first time we do this. Sometimes after she had a nightmare she calls me and I sneak out of my house and come over here. I climb up her window and stay with her until she falls asleep again. When her tears finally subside we sit across from each other on the bed, just staring at the other and not saying anything. I want to ask her what she is thinking of, but I know she will answer that question when she's ready.

"I'm really trying to be more like a regular girl, but I feel like I'm losing myself," she says.

"Tris, you don't have to do anything you are not comfortable doing," I reassure her. "Just because Christina or anyone tells you to be something you are not doesn't mean you have to do it. I've told you, I love you just the way you are. People should like you for you and not for something you pretend to be."

"I know, Tobias, but I feel like I'm the freak and that's what I actually am. I don't fit in," she argues.

"Tris, maybe that's a good thing," I say and she gives me a questioning look. "Think about it. Did it ever bother you that you are different?" I ask and she shakes her head. "Would you want to be different? I mean in your heart is it that what you want?" She shakes her head again. "Then ignore them. They don't know half of the amazing things you've seen and done. They think pretty dresses and school dances are important, but they haven't seen the world the way you did. You literally stood on top of everything and you are still this amazing young woman, grounded, humble, sweet and beautiful. I wouldn't change a single thing about you," I tell her and she smiles. The few tears that run down her cheek make her look even more lovely than usual. I stretch out my hand to wipe them away but she shakes her head.

"Let them fall. I want them to wash this whole thing away," she says. I nod. She crawls into my arms and we stay like that, in each others arms, for a long while.

"You wanna grab a bite to eat?" I ask her. I haven't eaten since lunch and the hunger monster inside me demands attention. She laughs lightly and nods her head.

"Let's go out for burgers," she says.

Fifteen minutes later we are in our favorite burger place, me eating a king sized chilly burger and Tris a double, no onions, cheeseburger. We each got a milkshake and a soda. We eat in silence, mainly because Tris has something on her mind, but doesn't know how to tell me. I let her be. I know she will eventually tell me when she finds the right words. We finish eating and Tris keeps staring at me. I swallow down my questions and let her think. She sighs loudly and I just can't take the waiting and tension anymore.

"Wanna share?" I ask casual.

"I wanna go," she says. I look at her confused.

"Okay," I say and get up.

"Sit down. I didn't mean now."

"Okay," I say even more confused.

"I wanna go to Argentina. In December. To climb the mountain," she announces.

"Are you sure?" I ask her. I know she is. She wouldn't have told me otherwise.

"Yes. What do you think?" she asks, taking me by surprise.

"Uhm, I think it's your decision," I say.

"Tobias, I know it's my decision, but we are a couple. I want to know what you think. And be honest," she says.

"Alright." I remain silent for a moment. I want to tell her not to go, because I'm scared something might happen to her. But at the same time I'm afraid she will resent me if I ask her not to go. It would also be hypocritical of me given that not two hours ago I told her to not give a damn about what other people think or say. She should be herself and mountain climbing allows her to be that.

"Tobias, I won't get mad. You can tell me your concerns. I can see them written on your face."

"I want what's best for you," I say looking her straight in the eyes. "Yes, I'm scared that you might get hurt or worse." I don't need to say the word out loud. She knows what I mean. "But at the same time I have no right to tell you not to go. You are your own person and I know that you are strong and capable. You climbed Everest for God's sake. The fear in my heart won't go away until you are back in my arms, safe and sound. I want to tell you not to go, I swear, but I also can't do that. It is your decision and whatever you do I will love you. Always." I finish my little speech and stare at her. She keeps quiet and it's hard for me to decipher what she thinks. She turns her head and looks out of the window, thinking.

"Thank you," she says and turns her gaze to me again, smiling. "Thank you for your love and support. The climb isn't as rough as Everest. I'm in good shape and I'm experienced. As a matter of fact, if someday you want to do this I would recommend Aconcagua."

"You haven't even been there," I say chuckling.

"I know," she says smiling. "But as a mountaineer I know my mountains," she says with a cocky grin.

"Maybe one day," I say.

We stay at the burger place a couple more hours talking mainly about unimportant things, until the dance comes up again.

"How about the two of us take your truck? I'm not really in the mood to spend too much time with anyone else right now. We could go to the dance, stay a few hours and then leave. We get up early Saturday morning and start our hike earlier as initially scheduled. That way we'll reach the cabin before sunset and can spend some quality time just the two of us in front of the nice, cozy fireplace" she tells me.

"Sounds good, baby. I'm not really in the mood to party either. We could even skip the dance if you don't want to go anymore," I reassure her, in case she goes for my sake.

"No. We should do this. I mean, I wanna dance with my man," she says with a small laugh.

"So, I'm your man?" I ask smirking.

"You can bet your cute ass that you are," she says, finally acting more like her old self.

"So, you think I have a cute ass," I say teasingly. "Is that the only thing you find cute?" I ask her wiggling my eyebrows. She rolls her eyes and gets up. She comes over to me and sits down on my lap, her left arm wrapped around my neck and her right hand cupping my face.

"You are the cutest, sexiest, kindest, most loving person I've ever met. I love you so much, Tobias."

"I love you, too, Tris," I say and lean into her and kiss her gently. I feel an all too familiar warmth spread through my body and try to focus, but when I'm kissing her everything seems to fade into oblivion and only she remains. She licks my bottom lip and I open my mouth, granting her access. She slips her tongue inside my mouth and it soon mates with my own. She moans softly into the kiss and I feel myself getting more and more uncomfortable in my pants. I reluctantly pull away and rest my forehead on hers.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"It's okay. But maybe we should go back home," I suggest. She stands up and goes to her seat to get her bag and then turns around to look at me. "Maybe we can wait another minute," I say and she chuckles.

It's almost seven p.m. when we reach her house. Since tomorrow is Friday and none of us has a test to prepare for we just lie down on her bed watching a movie. At least that's what we tell ourselves. I watch the screen but don't pay any attention to the movie. I keep thinking of what Tris and I talked about today. I'm so proud of her for fulfilling her dreams, but at the same time I'm terrified I might lose her. I know we are young and I overheard my parents talk about us once. Mom, despite liking Tris, thinks that our relationship won't last, that it's just a teenage infatuation. But I know in my heart that it isn't. I'm not that kind of guy to fall for every pretty face that comes along. And Tris is mature beyond her years. Yeah, she is a little crazy, but only to those who don't know her and I came to realize there aren't many who do. Even her own family seems to have a wrong impression regarding her. The only one who seems to understand is her cousin Matt, since they've been on many expeditions together. Mr. Williams, her maternal uncle, seems to have a pretty good idea, but he isn't able to climb such high mountains anymore. As for the Prior brothers, they are more hobby mountaineers and don't really know the hardship professional mountain climbing brings with it.

"You okay?" Tris' soft voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah. Why?" I ask looking down at her.

"You seemed so far away," she says, concern seeping through.

"I'm fine, babe. I was just going through my list for tomorrow," I lie. She gives me a skeptical look but doesn't say anything.

"List?" is all she asks.

"Yeah. Wash truck, take a shower, put on suit, pick up my gorgeous girlfriend, give her a sweet kiss, telling her how beautiful she looks, thinking what a lucky son of a bitch I am, leading her to the truck, driving us to the dance, dance with my girl, kissing her some more, offer her some punch, taking her under the bleachers and make out with her shamelessly," I say and Tris laughs whole heartily.

"You are nuts," she says and kisses my jaw.

"Nuts about you," I say and kiss her nose. I look at my watch and see that it's late. I untangle myself from her and stand up.

"I wish you could stay," she says, a look full of love, but also fear on her face.

"I wish that too, but I think your dad wouldn't like that," I say trying to be cheerful for her sake.

"Yeah, the old man might freak out," she says jokingly. I laugh. She gets up and walks me out of her house. We say goodbye and kiss for a long while before I finally make my way home.

I walk into my house and find it unusually quiet. I go to my room and let myself fall on my bed. I still can't shake the feeling I've been having all day long, like something bad is about to happen. Maybe the revelation that Tris will indeed go to Argentina to climb Aconcagua made me more anxious than I was willing to admit to myself.

I take a long, hot shower and then go to bed. Maybe a good night's sleep will make this feeling go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have a question. If someone would have told you about this story, but instead it being a Divergent fanfic it would have been an original one, would you have still read it knowing only the synopsis? Please answer.


	19. Anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you all for coming with me on this journey.
> 
> As you know, Tris and Tobias will go hiking after Homecoming. Something special is about to happen and I will reveal the secret to this story after that. If anyone, however, wants to take a guess you're welcome to. If you are guests here you can contact me using the Ask Me Anything feature of my Tumblr christiwind . tumblr . com (no spaces).

Tris' POV

I wake early next morning and decide to go out for a run. I always found it relaxing, despite the physical exhaustion. And if I want to go to Argentina I need to start preparing. Aconcagua isn't nearly as demanding as Everest, but I still need to train. While running I let my mind drift to yesterday. Tobias was supportive, but I could tell even while he spoke that he would rather have asked me not to go. I know that he would never make me choose between him and what I love to do, but in the end I don't know what I would choose. I love him, but we are so young. Our friends say that we are cute together and whatnot, but those are assessments of teenagers. I've overheard both my mother and Evelyn, Tobias' mother, talk one afternoon. Tobias had soccer practice and I didn't feel well. He gave me his truck to drive home. I entered the house and heard mom and Evelyn talk in the kitchen. They didn't notice me and at first I wanted to leave. But then they mentioned me and I got curious. While both women were happy that Tobias and I are a couple they both voiced their concern that once the youthful infatuation wears off we will drift apart, especially since we are so different. I was too upset to remain there any longer and quietly made my way up to my room.

I guess somehow mom and Evelyn are right. We are young and maybe this is just infatuation and will wear off eventually. Maybe we both are fooling ourselves thinking that we are in love. Yes, I love him. But am I truly in love? Every romantic novel I've read or movie I've seen depicts love as something so powerful, so unique. In every story the protagonists know they are in love and will forever be together. They know that they can't survive without the other, that life will be meaningless and empty. But is that really true? Do I love Tobias that way? Could I really not live without him? I was fine for the first sixteen years of my life. Why wouldn't I be for the remainder of it?

All these questions are starting to give me a headache. I turn around and run back home, just in time to see Tobias run toward me. He must have been out for a run too. I smile involuntarily.

"Morning, beautiful," he says smiling widely.

"Morning, handsome," I say as I stop in front of him. "Out for a run?"

"Yeah. Woke up early and thought I could use one," he says cheerful. "Nervous?"

"Why would I be nervous?" I ask.

"Tonight you're going to the school dance with the hottest guy in school," he says with a wide grin.

"Unfortunately, I'm not going with the hottest guy in school," I say and his face falls a little. "Marlene goes with Uriah."

"What? That dimwit is not the hottest guy in school," he says wrapping his arms around me.

"Oh, yeah, he is. But that's okay. I might not go with the hottest guy in school, but at least I go with the sexiest man alive," I say smirking. At that his grin is wider than ever before and he crashes his mouth over mine. I soon part my lips and he thrusts his tongue inside my mouth, engaging my own in a passionate dance. We pull apart breathless but smiling.

"Just what the doctor ordered. A hot kiss in the morning from a hot girl will keep you healthy all day long," he says and I burst out laughing.

"You are so full of shit," I tell him.

"Hey, it's true," he defends.

"We should probably go home. I need to take a shower and by what I'm smelling a shower wouldn't hurt you either," I say chuckling.

"That's my man scent," he says.

"Yeah, right. Come on. Let's make this interesting. Let's see who is ready first," I say and he raises an eyebrow.

"A bet? Why Ms. Prior, it's not very ladylike to gamble," he says in a fake British accent.

"Screw that. You in, Eaton?" I ask him and he nods smiling.

"What does the winner get?" he asks before we part.

"A surprise from the loser. It can be tonight, tomorrow or anytime but no later than a week," I say and he nods again.

We kiss one last time and then we each head to our respective homes. I run upstairs and take a quick shower. All these years on the road helped me develop this super human speed when it comes to getting ready. I enter my room and pick out a sports bra, a tank top, some cotton boxers, a white, fluffy sweater and dark blue skinny jeans. I decide to put on my dark leather boots and head downstairs where I eat a muffin and drink my coffee with extra milk. I'm done in less than twenty minutes and go to my front door. I look outside the window and don't see Tobias. Huh, he isn't ready yet. Instead of going outside I wait for him to come out first. I do have a surprise for him, regardless of our little bet, but it might be nicer this way. When he finally comes out and walks to his truck I decide to go out as well, pretending to be upset he made it before me.

"Huh, I guess I'm more of a girl than I thought," I say as I approach him. He wraps me in his arms and I breathe in his freshly showered scent.

"You are the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world," he says.

"A bit cheesy, don't you think?" I ask and then kiss his cheek.

"Isn't cheese one of your favorite things to eat?" he asks releasing me. I walk around the truck and get inside.

"Maybe."

We drive to school and the closer we get the more nervous I become. I know there is nothing to fear in there, but I still feel anxious about facing all those people, friends and strangers alike. Tobias parks the car and we both get out. He grabs my hand in his and we walk toward the entrance. I don't see any of our friends and without realizing it at first I sigh in relief.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah. I'm just a little nervous," I confess.

"You don't have to be. I'm right here," he says reassuringly. I look up at his smiling face and press a kiss to his cheek. The stubble tickles me and I laugh. "What's so funny?" he asks surprised by my reaction.

"Your stubble tickled me," I say.

"I'll have to shave later," he absentmindedly runs his hand over his jaw.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to. I kind of like it this way," I say.

"You do?" he asks a little surprised at my admission.

"Yeah. You look manly and damn sexy," I say wrapping my arms around his waist.

"I do?" he asks with a cocky grin. I only nod. Just as he leans down to kiss me we hear someone whistle. We look toward where the sound came from and see his best friend Zeke.

"Hey guys. You do know this is a school and not one of your bedrooms?" he asks with a smirk.

"Get lost, dude," Tobias says playful.

"Right in the feels, man," Zeke says putting on a hurt expression and holding his chest, as if in pain.

"What do you want?" Tobias asks.

"Could you guys come up to the roof?" he asks.

"Why?" I ask unsure of what this is supposed to be. "Classes start soon," I say trying to find a way out. I'm in no mood to talk to anyone but Tobias.

"Come on. You won't miss much. Besides you've got chemistry, right?" he asks and I nod. "I'm sure Four can bring you up to speed if you miss something," he says wiggling his eyebrows.

"'Cause we have good chemistry?" I ask raising an eyebrow. Zeke nods.

"You don't have to go, if you don't want to," Tobias says softly.

"Four is right. You don't have to. But I promise it's worth your time," Zeke says with a small smile. I think for a moment if I should go with him. I look up at Tobias and he nods.

"I'll come with you, if you want me to."

"I want you to."

We follow Zeke up to the roof where we find all our friends. They are all standing there in a semi-circle looking at me. I feel the incredible urge to shrink back and hide behind Tobias, but instead I stand straight and look them in the eyes. I am still holding Tobias' hand firmly in mine as we close the circle.

"Why am I here?" I ask Zeke, who is standing to my right.

"After you left yesterday some things happened. I don't know if Four told you, but we learned a lot about you. At first, some of us," he says and looks around "were angry you haven't said anything about your life, but as we stopped and thought about it none of us really asked. Yeah, we knew about you going mountain climbing, but we had no idea what kind of mountains you climbed. We are sorry that we didn't really care enough to ask. We do like you, Tris, you are just so different from us."

"I know that, Zeke, believe me I know. I'm the mountain freak that no one wants or likes," I say and look away.

"That's not true," Tobias forcefully says. "I don't just like you, Tris, I love you," he says and the girls "aw" at that.

"Four's right," Marlene says. "We do like you and it was shitty of us to just assume things about you."

"Tris, you are not a freak," Shauna says reassuringly and steps closer to me. "Yeah, you are different, but you are special. I sometimes wish I had your passion. I do like cheerleading but what you do must be so rewarding," she says.

"Yesterday, after school, we sat down with mom and dad and they told us the whole story," Lynn says.

"I doubt it," I say and Shauna raises an eyebrow. "I don't mean that they haven't told you what they know, it's just what they know isn't the whole story. But never mind that."

"Our dad told us a few things too," Uriah says.

"So did mom and dad," Caleb joins in.

"Tris, I'm sorry. I was pushy and unfair. But I swear I didn't mean to hurt you or make you feel less than you are. You are amazing, I knew that even before I found out about all the amazing things you did," Christina says with a shy smile.

"Stop it. All of you. You make this sound so fucking out of this world. I love mountain climbing and that's it. But unlike your hobbies mine is extremely dangerous. People die, people I know die. There is a strong reason why I hide most of my climbs from mom and dad or Uncle Joe or anyone I care about. In May I lost two people I loved. They are gone. But you," I say looking at Caleb and my cousins "you are my family. I would die if I would lose you. In the mountains I've learned there are different kinds of love. While the others are like family and I would suffer losing any of them, you are different. I can't have any of you up there with me. It's hard with them, but it would be impossible with you. I know you are confused, but talk to your dads," I say looking around "those who climb and they'll explain why it's a bad idea to climb tall mountains with family."

"Tris, we're really sorry," Will says.

"I know, Will. People don't really get me and I admit I could have handled yesterday better, but it just pisses me off that I have to be someone I'm not."

"I'm sorry, Tris," Christina apologizes again.

"It's okay, but please, be patient with me. I know I'm a freak of nature, but I can adjust," I say.

"Tris, you don't have to adjust," Tobias says squeezing my hand gently.

"Four's right," Shauna says. "You are perfect the way you are. We just want you to look super pretty, because you actually are. You just like to hide your gorgeousness from the rest of the world," she says chuckling and hugs me. I hug her back and soon all the girls wrap themselves around me.

"Oh, what the hell," Zeke says and joins the group hug as do the rest of my friends.

"Okay, that's enough with this mushiness," Uriah says pulling back first.

"It's too late to go to class," Will comments.

"How about Tris tells us about her climbs?" Christina asks.

"You sure you want to hear? It's rather boring when told," I say unsure of what to do.

"Of course. You fucking climbed Everest. How's that boring?" Christina asks with a smile.

For the remainder of the period we sit around while I tell them about the difficult climbs. I leave out the deaths of my friends on purpose and only tell them about the difficulties and the wonders alike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Would you read this story if it were an original novel instead of a Divergent fanfic?


	20. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The plot thickens. Bad things are happening.

Tris' POV

I had to promise Christina that I would let her do my hair, while Shauna would do my make-up. They said I should just shower and put on my dress and they would come over in time to help me get ready. I decide to wear the lace push-up bra and the thong I bought in the lingerie store, even though I doubt Tobias will see them. The girls said they would be here no later than five p.m. so by four I went into the shower, cleaned myself up, went downstairs, ate a light supper and went back upstairs to put on my underwear and dress. I thought long about what kind of dress to wear. I never went to a formal before, but when I asked mom she said I should pick a dress that looks both pretty, but also makes me feel comfortable in my own skin. I decided on a simple strapless, black satin knee-length cocktail dress. The upper part is tightly fixed around my body, similar to a corset while the lower part flows down from my hips. It's a sweet design and not too extravagant. It's just right. I feel both beautiful and sexy, as well as comfortable in it.

Soon the doorbell rings and I hurry downstairs to let the girls in. To my surprise all of them came, not just Christina and Shauna.

"Hey, girls. I didn't expect all of you," I say sincerely.

"Well, we couldn't just wait until you decided to show up with your Prince Charming before getting a glimpse of you," Marlene says.

"Oh my God, Tris. You look gorgeous in that dress," Christina says and makes me spin so that she can get a good look.

"Did your mom design it?" Marlene asks.

"No. I bought it. Mom's designs are a bit too extravagant for me," I say with a nervous chuckle. I like my mom's designs, they are just not for me.

"Nevertheless, you look super cute and adorable. Four will love you in this," Shauna chimes in. The girls practically push me up into my room and start working their magic as Shauna puts it. I asked them to keep it simple. Shauna frowned for a bit, but then decided to just enhance my natural beauty with some mascara and a pink blush and a rose colored lipstick. I look myself up in the mirror and barely recognize the girl I'm seeing. She somehow made my eyes look bluer than they actually are and the pink blush just flatters me. I was worried that she would go overboard with the make-up, but she did a great job.

"Thank you, Shauna," I tell her honestly and give her a little hug.

"Okay. My turn," Christina announces. She dries my hair and applies some fixing foam before she actually starts working. She didn't allow me to look in the mirror, said it was a surprise. I hate surprises, but I'm sure she will respect my wish and keep it simple. I let her work as I idly chat with the girls.

"So, you and Four going away tomorrow," Lynn says with a grin. I decided to tell them that we have plans over the weekend and might leave the dance early.

"Yeah. There's this cabin I know and I promised Four a while back that we would go on a longer hike than before."

"Just a hike?" Shauna asks wiggling her eyebrows and I feel myself blush.

"Oh my God. You guys are going to do it," Marlene says.

"Mar, not so loud," I shush her. The girls start talking and giggling and I feel more and more uncomfortable. "I didn't say that, but it's nice to be able to just hang out with him without being interrupted," I say and suddenly the hem of my dress is very interesting.

"Oh, come on, Tris. There's no need to be ashamed," Shauna says crouching down before me and giving me a reassuring smile.

"So, you guys done the dance with no pants?" Lynn asks.

"No," I honestly say.

"How the heck can you keep your hands off of him?" Christina asks amused. "I mean he is the hottest guy in school, after Will of course."

"You mean after Zeke," Shauna corrects her.

"Nah-uh, after Uriah," Marlene chimes in and we all burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" mom asks as she comes into my room. "My, my, you ladies look stunning. You will certainly break a few hearts tonight," she says looking us over.

"Thank you," the girls say all at the same time.

"Thanks, mom."

"Sweetie, you look adorable. And great job on the hair, Christina," she says and I get up to look myself in the mirror. It's a simple braided updo that looks both romantic and playful and in my opinion goes well with the dress I'm wearing. I had my doubts before, but as I look myself in the mirror all dressed up and ready I am happy that I'm going to this dance.

"Doesn't she look great?" Shauna asks and I turn around. Everyone is looking at me and smiles.

"Beautiful," mom says.

"Thanks, mom. We should go. Four will be here any minute," I say and grab my tiny purse that contains my phone and some money.

"Is a limo coming to pick you up?" mom asks.

"Yes," Christina answers excited.

"Not me and Tobias. We're taking his truck," I say as I head toward the stairs.

"Why aren't you taking the limo?" mom asks confused.

"We'll leave early. Remember, tomorrow morning he and I go hiking," I say trying to walk down the stairs without falling on my face. It's not like I haven't worn high heels before, but I rarely do, just for occasions like this one. When I reach the bottom of the stairs my dad greets me with a huge smile on his face.

"Ah, my baby girl, you look so beautiful," he says.

"Thanks, dad." The doorbell rings and dad kisses me quickly on the forehead before going to open it. In the doorway with a huge bouquet of red roses stands a handsome Tobias with the biggest grin I've ever seen.

"Hello, Tobias," my dad greets my boyfriend who seemingly ignored him until then.

"Oh, hi, Mr. Prior, sir. I'm sorry for not greeting earlier, but your daughter just took my breath away," he says and looks back at me. I know I blushed. I must have. The girls behind me "aw" loudly and I feel even more embarrassed than before.

"Isn't she just beautiful?" dad asks looking at me.

"Dad," I whine.

"What? Can't a father appreciate his daughter?" he asks and wraps his arms around me. "I love you, Bumblebee," he whispers in my ear.

"Love you too, dad," I whisper back.

"I'm so proud of you," he says and holds me closer. "Go, have fun," he says and releases me.

"Come on, Tobias," I say.

"Wait!" mom shouts. I turn around startled by her outburst.

"What?" I ask half annoyed, half curious.

"We need to take pictures," she says.

"What? Mom," I whine. Why are my parents doing this? Are they trying to turn me into a tomato or something?

"No, it's tradition," she says and pulls out her phone.

"Come on, babe. We look fabulous. Let your mom take a few pictures," Tobias says reassuringly. I look at him and smile. He always puts me at ease, no matter what. "Here, these are for you," he says and hands me the flowers.

"Thank you, they are beautiful," I say.

"Compared to you they are weed," he whispers. He knows I don't like it if we get to intimate in front of others.

"Wouldn't say no to some weed right now," I say and he raises an eyebrow. "What? You never tried?" I ask in a whispering tone.

"Yeah, but let's talk about it later," he says and looks toward my parents who are patiently waiting for us to pose for a few snapshots.

I hand dad my flowers and mom takes about a million pictures of us before she finally lets us go. The girls wait for the limo and their dates to arrive, while Tobias and I take his truck and drive off. At the first stop he pulls the hand break and turns to look at me.

"You are so beautiful, Tris. I don't know how I'm going to be able to keep my hands off of you," he says and his eyes sparkle.

"Well, if you can't then I'm sure I can keep you from it. Remember, Karate Kid?" I ask and point at myself. He smirks and pulls me in for a kiss.

"God, I wanted to do this all along. And don't worry, babe. I would never force you to do anything you don't like. I love you," he says sweetly.

"I love you, too." I give him one more peck on the lips before we continue our drive to the school. "So, you smoked pot," I say after a while.

"Yeah, a couple of times. Zeke and I were at some party and a guy had some and we tried it out. Wasn't as exciting as I thought," he says while keeping his gaze fixed on the road. "What about you?"

"I had some, usually on mountains and to be honest I don't get what the fuss is all about either. Yeah, it relaxes you but afterwards you are fucking soft until it wears off. Besides I don't want to risk getting filmed by Scott doing something stupid, like wearing my panties on my head." He starts laughing and I soon join in.

"Don't tell me that happened to you," he says.

"No, but it happened to Scott and I filmed him."

"So, you are afraid of a quid pro quo."

"Something like that."

We soon arrive at the school and Tobias parks the car, he practically jumps out of it and runs to my side to open the door, helping me out, like the gentleman he is.

"Why thank you, sir," I say.

"You're welcome, milady," he replies.

We walk hand in hand inside the gym and look around. Whoever decorated the place did a great job. It looks like a Hollywood party with all the glitz and glamour. Our friends aren't here yet, but that was to be expected. We look around for a table and when we find one, we sit down. I see from the corner of my eye Nita entering the gym accompanied by Eric. When she spots us she makes a disgusted face and just turns her head toward where the band is playing. I ignore her, since I don't want her to ruin my night with Tobias. She isn't worth it.

Soon our friends join us and take a seat at our table. We chit-chat or dance and just have fun. Again, I'm glad I decided to come here. I assumed I wouldn't enjoy it, since I wasn't used to something like this, but as it turns out I'm having a hell of a good time.

"Can I have this dance?" Tobias asks as a slow dance comes up. I smile at his adorableness and nod my head. I put my hand in his and we walk toward the dance floor. I wrap my arms around his neck and he rests his on my hips, but then decides he wants to hold me closer, so he wraps them around my middle and presses us together. I feel butterflies in my stomach and I feel dizzy. I've never felt this way before. Yes, I'm always excited when I'm near him and when he holds me, but tonight is different. It's magical. The music, the ambiance, the slow dance – everything is just tenfold better than I ever imagined it would or could be. I look up at him and smile when our eyes meet. He smiles that adorable smile of his that makes me melt. We lean in and I close my eyes waiting for his soft lips to touch mine when I feel something vibrate. God damn it. I pull back and look at him apologetically. He pecks my lips nevertheless, but it's not the same. I groan when his lips leave mine and I reluctantly pull out my phone from my purse and look at the caller ID. Scott. I hope for his own safety that this is important.

"I'm sorry, babe. He never calls unless it's very important," I say and he nods. I know he still doesn't like Scott and right now I can't blame him. I hope that stupid shithead has a good excuse for calling. I walk out of the gym, since the reception is bad and I also couldn't hear much. I dial Scott's number and wait for him to pick up. But as I wait, I hear noises from around the gym, near the soccer field. A scream. Somebody just screamed. I think it was a girl. I look around to see if there is anyone else to come and help me look, but everybody is inside having fun. There, another scream. I'm positive it's a girl. I run toward where the scream came from and see two tall and bulky guys kneeling down. They are partly in the shadows so I can't really see what is going on, but then I get a glimpse of a girl who is lying down. I stop abruptly. Oh my God, she's being raped. I take of running but the high heels don't make it easy for me.

"Hey, leave her alone," I shout and they both turn to look my way. I can see that the one who had his back turned to me gets up, his pants down to his knees. He really did it. He really raped that poor girl. I look toward the other one who is still shoving his penis down her throat making her gag. I fight the urge to vomit and run faster toward them. The first one pulled his pants up and charges at me, but I anticipate his move, drop to the ground and kick his feet from under him, making him stumble backwards and fall on his ass. The second one stands up and comes to help his buddy. He takes out to throw a punch, but I block it and twist his wrist. I might be small, but I've learned how to defend myself against guys twice my size. He quickly pushes me away and if I weren't in heels this would go a lot faster.

"If you want to join our little party you just have to ask, baby," the second guy snarls.

"In your dreams, you stupid motherfucker," I say and charge. I get close and jump up, bending my leg and hitting his jaw with my right knee, making him fall on his back. The first one regained his posture and tries to attack me again, but just as I'm about to make a move the guy is pulled backwards by someone and starts to throw punches. As I look at the scene I recognize Tobias, Zeke and Uriah engaging the two rapists as Amar and Principal Reyes rush to the girl. I walk over to where she is and see her face for the first time. It's Nita.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Would you read this story if it were an original novel instead of a Divergent fanfic?


	21. Knights in shining armor

Tobias' POV

The next two hours are a blur. After the guys and I beat the shit out of those low-lives the cops and an ambulance came. The two guys were arrested and Nita was taken to the hospital. Principal Reyes went with her in the ambulance, while Amar organized us to go to the police station and give a statement each. I was too upset to drive and asked Caleb to drive my truck.

This wasn't how I planned this evening. I wanted to give Tris a night to remember, a wonderful memory, something that would strengthen our bond, but instead this happened. And to think that Tris fought those two guys alone before we came. I'm so angry with her for running toward them, but at the same time I can't deny her courage and strength. She saw someone in danger and immediately jumped in to help that person, even if that person was a real bitch to her. But she could have been hurt or worse. I don't even want to think about that. I pull her closer to me trying to calm myself down. We asked Amar not to call our parents; there was nothing anyone could do right now, the sexual abusers were arrested, we all gave our statements, Nita is in the hospital safe and taken care of.

"Don't ever do that again," I say to Tris and she turns her head to look at me.

"I can't promise you that," she says sternly. I know this was a long shot. Tris is a strong, independent person, but I need her to understand how afraid I was, afraid of losing her or seeing her get hurt, how afraid I still am.

"At least call for help next time anything like this happens," I say.

"Tobias, I understand where you're coming from, but there was no time. They already…" she says but stops herself. I nod. She doesn't have to say it.

"I just don't want you to get hurt," I say and she smiles softly at me.

"I know, but you keep forgetting that I know how to fight. Nevertheless," she says as she sees I want to argue "I am thankful you guys came out to save the day," she says with a chuckle and looks at me, Zeke and Uriah.

"Please, that was nothing," Zeke says, trying to lighten the mood.

"By the way, how come you came out in the first place?" she asks looking at me.

"Scott called when he couldn't reach you. Just as I came out I heard you shout at those guys and saw you run toward them. In that moment I saw red and ran after you, to protect you," I tell her. I will never be able to thank Scott enough for calling me in that exact same moment. I know Tris can fight, but can't a guy be a guy and protect his girl?

"What about you two?" she asks bending forward a little in her seat to see our friends better.

"Shauna and Marlene wanted us to do that stupid group dance from Brazil or wherever the fuck it came from," Zeke says scoffing. Tris chuckles at that.

"Well, I'll have to send them flowers or something, because I didn't just have one knight in shining armor, but three," Tris says and then whispers into my ear "but only one of them is Prince Charming," and pecks my cheek. I smile like a goofball.

"Let's go, gang," Amar says as he comes to where we sit.

"What did the sheriff say?" Zeke asks and stands up first.

"The two guys are in custody and for now your statements suffice. Tomorrow when Nita feels better and is able to talk, the sheriff's department will send a female deputy to take her statement as well," Amar informs us. "We should all go. There's nothing any of us can do here anyway." We nod and follow him outside.

"You okay, Bee?" Caleb asks as we approach my truck. He waited until both Tris and I were done with our statements before he came out here to call our friends who stayed behind at the school.

"Yeah."

"I called mom and dad," Caleb says.

"What? Why would you do that?" she asks frustrated.

"They deserve to know, but I haven't told them that you picked a fight with those guys. I just told them you noticed what was happening and then the guys took charge," Caleb explains. As we get into my truck and Uriah and Zeke drive back with Amar, Tris and Caleb continue their argument. I'm thankful that Caleb accepted to drive again, since I much prefer to sit in the back with my arms wrapped around my girl.

"You know, I really can't decide if I should thank you for not worrying mom and dad too much or to be mad that you left out that I kicked ass," she says.

"Would you prefer to be grounded again?" he asks looking at her in the rear view mirror for a moment before returning his attention to the road. Tris opens her mouth to retort, but then closes it and pouts. She knows he is right, but the stubborn child in her won't allow her to back down too easily. "Four, is it okay if we drive back to the school. I really should pick up Susan, my date, and drive her back home. She texted that she would wait for me," Caleb says and glances my way for a second.

"Sure, no problem," I say, glad I can prolong my time with my girlfriend, even under these circumstances.

After we pick Susan up and promise our friends we would get in touch with them tomorrow, we drive back home. Susan lives on the opposite part of our neighborhood and we get her home first. While Caleb talks to her in the front I pull Tris closer to me, relishing the feeling of having her so close to me. I got really scared tonight. I know, objectively, that she can defend herself. I've seen it with my own eyes, but I still feel this incredible strong urge to protect her from every kind of harm. My train of thought is interrupted when Tris stirs a little and shifts so that her mouth is closer to my ear. A shudder runs down my spine when she speaks softly, so that only I can hear her.

"Are we still going tomorrow?" she asks and I turn my head to look at her. Her eyes are wide open and sparkle and I realize I've been staring at her when she wanted me to answer her.

"Only if you want to. We don't have to if you don't feel up to it," I say, even though this is what I want most in this moment, to be with her, just her, even if we don't do anything other than hold each other.

"I want to go. I feel sorry for what happened to Nita, but we aren't really friends, she actually hates me, so I don't see how I could possibly help her," she says sincerely.

"You've done more than enough, baby. You helped her when she was completely defenseless and put yourself at risk to keep her safe. There is nothing more anyone could ask of you," I tell her, hoping it is enough for her. She plays tough and she is tough as nails, I admit, but I can tell that this feud going on between her and Nita leaves its marks.

"Alright, so we proceed as planned. We start our journey at seven a.m. as scheduled and hopefully arrive at the cabin by early afternoon. Tobias, you'll love it there. I went a couple of times and it was awesome," she beams and I'm glad I could distract her enough from the events from earlier tonight.

Too soon we arrive home and Caleb parks my truck in my drive way. I get out and help Tris since she is half asleep already. It has been a long, eventful day and I get she is exhausted. To no one's surprise our parents are waiting for us, but instead of bombarding us with a million questions they just hug us all. I wait for everyone to go inside so that I can say good night to my sweet and brave girlfriend.

"Sleep tight, sweetheart," I tell her and she smiles, but I can tell she is more asleep than awake. I kiss her softly on the lips and help her get inside her house. I say goodnight to her father who practically has to carry her upstairs. I chuckle to myself and leave the Prior house and go home.


	22. The Blizzard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi my dear initiates. Before you can enjoy a new chapter of Conquer Yourself I want to say a couple of things. On Christmas Eve I'll post a little Christmas present for you, a Divergent Fairy Tale which is yet untitled. The story is short, but I'll post a chapter every day until the end of the year. You And Me Against The World will be updated soon. I'm sorry for the delay but with the Christmas season and so much work I just couldn't find the time. Those who know my work know I never post just for the sake of it. But I posted two tie-ins last week, Pregnancy perks and Father-son talk.
> 
> For now, enjoy this new chapter.

Tris' POV

I walk through the blizzard and try to catch my breath. My oxygen tank is empty, there's absolutely no use of carrying it anymore. I discard it and put my backpack back on. I'm so cold. And I'm sure I am lost. This fucking blizzard came out of nowhere and I got separated from my group. Why can't I find them? They can't be too far ahead. Scott was just right next to me. And Mikey and Rob were just a few steps ahead of us. Where are you guys?

The wind has changed its course. It is hitting me full force in the face. I can't breathe. I stop and turn my back to it. My eyes are shut. I am so tired. I want to sleep. But I can't. Rule number one: don't fall asleep. I open my eyes and I see something on the ground. The snow starts to cover it up but I crouch down to inspect it.

I gasp.

This can't be.

It's Mikey.

He is dead.

Why is he dead? He was just alive.

The wind changes direction again and it hits me right in the face again. This blizzard is really getting on my nerves. Why am I not more upset about my dead friend? I look back down, but he is gone. Did I hallucinate? I close my eyes and turn around. I take a few tentative steps and hit something. I fall over. I open my eyes to inspect the damage.

Another body.

Rob.

He is curled into a ball, frozen, asleep, no, he is dead.

Poor Rob.

I don't understand. Why am I not upset? Is it because I already knew they were dead? They died on Everest, in May. How could they die again?

Where am I? Where is this strong wind coming from? I take a step back and step on something. I turn around and see a body sitting down in the snow. The head is slumped against the chest and I can't see who it is. I kneel before it and lift the head.

It's Scott.

Is he dead? I think he is.

Ow. I feel a pain in my chest. Ow. Another one in my side. Ow. My body tells me to stand up and walk. There's nothing I can do for him. But he is my friend. My best friend. He is like a brother to me. He can't be dead. Not Scott.

"Scott, wake up," I say and shake him lightly. He doesn't move. "Scott, please, you have to wake up. I can't carry you," I plead. Ow. The pain in my chest increases. I shake him but to no avail. He is gone. Scott is gone. My friend is gone and I can't do a damn thing about it. Why do we do this? What do we hope to accomplish? Is that bit of freedom we feel on a mountain so important to risk our lives? I can't do this anymore. I just lost someone I loved. It hurts me. I want to cry, but no tears come. The wind is strong and cold and I can't breathe.

I turn around and crawl away. It is so cold. I want to go home. I want to go back to Tobias. I want to curl into a ball, under a blanket and let him hold me. Let him tell me I am safe and sound. Let him tell me he loves me. I want Tobias. I need Tobias. Where are you Tobias? Please, come and get me.

I open my eyes and there he is.

He is standing in front of me, extending his hand for me to take.

He came to take me home.

I am so glad. I am so happy.

I try to get up, but it's so hard.

I try to move, but my limbs seem to have turned into lead.

I force my legs to carry my weight.

I force myself to stand straight.

I force myself to take one step.

Another step.

Another step.

And another step.

Tobias smiles softly. He talks to me, but I can't hear him. The wind is blowing in my face and his words are muffled. I move forward, I move so slowly. I can almost reach him. I am almost there. I can touch his fingertips. They are so close now. I push myself to grab his hand, but just as I think I will hold him he falls down.

The earth seems to have opened up underneath him trying to swallow him whole. I throw myself near the abyss that tries to take him away from me. He is holding on, but he will fall. I reach for him, but I am too short, too small. I grab his fingers.

I try to hold his hand.

I try to hold onto him.

I try to pull him up.

I try and try but he doesn't move.

He slips.

He will fall.

I can't watch.

I must do something.

I can't lose him.

I have to save him.

I can't hold on anymore.

I will die without him.

His fingers slip.

I close my eyes.

He is gone.

The pain in my chest is a hundred times stronger. It suffocates me. It crushes me. It burns me. It freezes me. It makes my heart stop. I can't lose him. I want him back. Please, come back.

I open my eyes and sit up in my bed. I pant. I'm sweaty and I'm cold. It was a dream. A nightmare. It wasn't real. It was just my mind playing tricks. It wasn't real. It can't be real. I wasn't on the mountain. He wasn't on the mountain. He didn't die. He is alive. He must be.

I am shaking so badly that I can't even hold my phone. It's 3 a.m. He must be asleep. Please, be asleep. Don't be dead. I dial his number. He is on speed dial. It rings. Once. Twice. Three times. Four times. I almost hang up when I hear his voice, still thick with sleep, answer.

"Hello?" he asks.

"Tobias," I say and realize my voice is raspy and shaky.

"Tris, what's wrong, babe?" he asks alerted.

"Can you please come?" I ask. This isn't the first time he holds me after I wake from a nightmare. I feel guilty for waking him and for making him come to me in the middle of the night, but I need to see that he is alive, that he is okay. That everything was just a bad dream.

"I'll be right there," he says and I can hear shuffling. "Open your window, I'll climb up," he says. I hang up and open the window. I look outside. It's dark and a bit cold. I pull my fluffy blanket over me and wait in front of the window. The dream shook me to my core.

What was that? What does it mean? My mind starts to work again. I remember Amanda gave me a Dream Dictionary for my birthday two years ago. I used it a few times, just for fun. I walk to my bookshelf and look for it. It's too dark in the room and I turn on the light on my desk. Ah, there it is. I pick it up and open it. What should I look for? What do I remember?

There was snow. I look through the book until I get to the letter S and look for what snow means. If you dream of snow it might mean that you have inhibitions and unexpressed emotions. It can suggest that you feel alone or neglected. To dream that you find something in the snow suggests that you are exploring and accessing your unused potential, abilities and talents. That's not much. What else? The blizzard. It reminded me of the one that hit us on Everest. B… B… Dreaming of a blizzard suggests that you feel excluded and left out. The wind was a constant in my dream. It was very strong. W… wind. To dream that the wind is blowing symbolizes your life force, energy and vigor. It can mean that changes happened or are about to happen in your life. A strong wind, however, signifies turmoil and trouble in your life. I saw all my friends dead on the ground and watched Tobias die. Please, don't mean death. The death of a loved one can suggest the fear of losing that person or if the person is already deceased it means you miss that person. It hurt me to see Scott's dead body and I felt like going insane when I couldn't save Tobias, but when I looked over Mikey's and Rob's bodies I felt indifference. Indifference. Indifference. To feel indifference in a dream suggests that you are trying to hide your true concerns.

I am interrupted from exploring further when I hear a noise near my window. I turn around and I sigh in relief when I see Tobias climbing into my room. I put the book on my desk and rush to him. The moment he is inside I attach myself to him and hold him close. He automatically wraps his arms around me, holding me securely in his strong arms. He is alive. Thank God. I haven't lost him.

We stay like this for a while until the cold air makes me shiver. Tobias lets go of me and closes my window. We lay down on my bed and he covers us with my warm comforter. He doesn't push me to talk, knowing that I need some time to gather my thoughts after a nightmare.

"I'm sorry for waking you," I say apologetically.

"It's okay. You know I want to be there for you when you need me," he says gently.

"I had a nightmare," I say and he just kisses me head.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he says reassuringly.

"I want to. It was odd. I was on a mountain and a blizzard raged on. I got separated from Scott, Mikey and Rob. One by one I found them on the ground, dead," I say and he pulls me closer. "The odd thing was that I felt indifferent when I saw Mikey's and Rob's dead bodies, like it didn't affect me at all. When I saw Scott it was different. I felt pain in my chest and in my side and I shook him to wake him up but he didn't move. I wanted to give up and I pleaded for you to come and get me," I tell him and I feel tears gathering in my eyes. He must have sensed the change and turns his head so that he can look at me.

"What aren't you telling me?" he asks gently. I close my eyes and immediately the image of him hanging over the abyss and then falling to his death pops into my head. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly and the tears stream down my face. He wipes them away with his thumbs as he cups my face in his palms and kisses me on the lips. It's not a passionate, demanding kiss, but a tender, sweet one filled with love. I sigh and open my eyes.

"I lost you. You came to help me and I lost you. You fell down into a crevasse and I failed to save you," I say and start crying. He doesn't stop me, he knows I need it. He just pulls me closer and whispers that everything is alright now, that it was just a bad dream, that he is here, with me, that he loves me and that he won't leave me.

It takes me a long while to calm down and if it weren't for Tobias being here and holding me I would probably cower in a corner and bite my nails. The dream is still hovering over my head an hour after Tobias arrived. We talked a little, him trying to calm me, while I kept repeating that I didn't want to lose him. Which I don't. I feel so vulnerable and weak and I hate it. I like being in control, but when it comes to Tobias, I can't. He gives me strength but he also weakens me. It is so confusing.

"Are you feeling better, honey?" he asks. I nod. I don't feel much better, but I'm glad he is here in my arms, alive and well. That's all I can ask for. That's all I want. The pain I felt was excruciating, I felt my lungs burn, my bones crack, my flesh detaching itself from my body. I never felt such a pain before and I never want to feel it again. "It was just a bad dream. I'm here. I won't leave you," he says reassuringly. I nod. I wish this could be enough, but the fear that has settled in my heart screams loudly.

He holds me close and soon I feel myself drift off. I fight it, but the fatigue wins in the end and I fall into a deep slumber.


	23. Preparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi there. This one is a shorter chapter but the following is longer. So, Tris and Tobias are on their way to the cabin...

Tobias' POV

I try to sleep, but I can't. This isn't the first time Tris called me in the middle of the night. She usually calls me only when the nightmare was too much. I know this, because I overheard her parents talk one afternoon. Her mom told her dad that she had another nightmare and that she had one every single night that week. She didn't call me and I didn't ask her about it. If she wanted to tell me she would've.

I watch her sleep, caressing her cheek with my left index finger. She looks so peaceful, but I know there is a storm inside her head. She didn't say anything, but I can tell. I don't have nightmares about losing her, but that doesn't mean I'm immune to it. I know that she is faithful and we always talk about what is bothering us. That's one of the things I love about our relationship – it's honest. She isn't just my girlfriend, but my best friend. I've shared things with her I haven't shared with anyone else. She knows all about my past and she knows all about my dreams for the future. I don't care what our parents or anyone else thinks – we belong together. Plain and simple. Are we young? Yes, but love doesn't have an expiration date.

Since we met we both changed, we both learned, we both grew. That's what life is all about. We are different, but I'd rather discover new things about her and she about me for the rest of our lives than be what others want us to be. Clark's parents met when he was nineteen and she was seventeen. By the time they were both in their early twenties they were married and had a child. I'm not saying this is me and Tris and we are certainly far from even thinking of it. But I do believe that we are meant to be, that this is the real deal.

These thoughts have been keeping me up for a while now. I know we have our whole lives ahead of us, but at the same time I feel like we are running out of time. The more time passes the more I want to spend with her. I want her close to me, just like she is right now. I would love to hold her in my arms every night, just watching her sleep, making sure no nightmares plague her.

I close my eyes, trying to get at least a couple of hours of sleep.

When I wake again it is morning. Must be seven a.m. or something. I look around and realize this is not my room or my bed. This is Tris'. I look to my right where she is snuggled against me, a small smile on her face. She looks so cute that I can't contain myself and bend down to kiss her cheek. I know I might wake her up, but we have to get up anyway. Her skin is so soft and she smells of passion fruit. I smile to myself. I love her, I love her so much. She stirs and I move a little to capture her lips. At first she doesn't respond, but then I feel her lips move softly against mine. What was supposed to be a chaste wake up kiss turns into a passionate open mouth kiss in which our tongues mate in a lustful dance. She moans and I suddenly realize I'm in bed with my girlfriend, kissing her, pressed against her warm body and it's morning. I turn my lower half slightly to not press my morning wood against her. I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I pull back, even though I would rather spend the entire day like this. I open my eyes and look at her. She looks so beautiful.

"Morning gorgeous," I say with a wide smile plastered on my face.

"Morning handsome," she replies and stretches her arms over her head, pushing her chest out. "What time is it?"

"I don't know," I say. She turns around to check the watch on her nightstand.

"Holy crap, Tobias, it's almost eight a.m." she says and sits up abruptly. I follow her example, although not as panicked.

"Relax, babe. We are already packed. All we have to do is eat something and get ready. How about we meet in thirty minutes?" I ask her and kiss her forehead. She frowns a little but nods. She gets out of bed and walks into her bathroom without closing the door. I wonder what she's doing when I hear the shower run. Is she seriously taking a shower with me still here? I mean, I don't mind. I'm sure I would enjoy seeing her naked, but I'm not sure I would be able to not get up and walk into the room and kiss her and … No, we'll get to that when she's ready.

"Tobias?" she asks coming back into her room.

"Yeah?"

"Don't get me wrong, I love having you here, but if we want to leave in half an hour you need to get going," she says with a chuckle.

"You kicking me out?" I ask with a smirk.

"As a matter of fact, I am. Unless you want to explain to my dad why you are here, in my bed," she says with a wink.

"Oh, alright," I say with a dramatic sigh. I get out of her bed and walk to where she is still standing, kiss her softly and then climb out of her window.

Somehow I manage to sneak back into my room without waking my parents or sister and get ready. I take a quick shower and then take my backpack down to my truck. When I get back inside I walk straight into the kitchen to make some coffee and even pour some into two travel mugs for me and Tris. I'm not particularly hungry, but since I don't know when we'll eat the next time I decided to make myself some scrambled eggs with bacon and toast. Just as I finish and sit down at the kitchen island dad comes in and joins me, pouring himself a mug of coffee.

"Don't tell your mom, but you make a way better coffee than she does," he says with a chuckle and I laugh a little.

"Don't worry," I say and dig in.

"So, you and Tris going out hiking," he says with a strange look on his face. I nod since my mouth is full. "You guys planning something special?" he asks and I almost choke when I understand where this is going.

"No," I say a little too quickly. Dad laughs at that but gets serious again.

"I know you probably know what you need to know about having sex with a girl," he starts saying and I find myself whining.

"Dad," I say. I don't want to talk about that. Besides, we're not going to that cabin to have sex. Of course, I wouldn't say no to that, but I'm more than okay to wait for when she's ready.

"No need to be embarrassed," dad says smiling. "I know you know what to do, but when you love someone the way I know you love Tris and she loves you back, sexual intercourse is that much special." I sigh in defeat. He won't give up until we have "the talk".

"I know that, dad. And I would never ask anything of her she is not comfortable with. But our hike has nothing to do with that. We just want to spend some quality time with each other without anyone interrupting us," I say.

"I understand, but in the event you two decide to get intimate I put some condoms in your glove compartment," he says matter-of-factly before drinking from his coffee. I roll my eyes, but somehow I can't be mad at him. He means well and I'm thankful that he loves me so much.

"Thanks, dad."

"You're welcome, son."

I finish in the kitchen and then go outside to my truck. Tris is already waiting for me there, her backpack sitting next to her on the ground.

"Why didn't you come into the house?" I ask her as I lean down to peck her lips.

"I just got here," she says smiling. I then notice a cool box and another bag next to her backpack.

"What's that?" I ask confused.

"Food," she says plainly.

"Okay. I thought the cabin was equipped with it," I say.

"No," she says laughing lightly. "You bring your own grub." I only nod and pack everything in the back. She hops in sitting in the passenger's seat waiting for me to get in as well. The moment I start the engine she turns on the radio and looks for a station. She finally stops when she finds the country station I like and turns the volume up. She looks at me and smiles. Her smile is like sunshine, warm and comforting. I will never get tired of seeing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I wonder what will happen. Any ideas?


	24. Twenty songs that remind me of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the delay. Please enjoy this new chapter. Oh, by the way, Conquer Yourself is a remake of my original novel I've written for this year's NaNoWriMo called The Highest Summit which you can find on my blog, christiwind . tumblr . com (no spaces). I loved that story and I could easily rewrite it to be a FourTris story. Tell me what you think.

Tris' POV

The drive takes us two hours until we reach the designated starting spot. We park our car and grab our things, checking Tobias' car twice if it's locked. When we're satisfied everything is in order we start our hike. We walk side by side and talk about insignificant things. We both avoid the elephant in the room or rather the woods. Nita and I sure aren't friends but what happened to her isn't something I would wish even for my nemesis. No one deserves that. I wonder how she is doing.

I check my watch and it says one p.m. I look around to see where we could rest for a bit and eat a sandwich before continuing our hike. I see a large rock and a log to my left and stop Tobias from walking further.

"What is it? Do you need me to take this?" he asks and points at the grocery bag I'm carrying. I smile and shake my head.

"We should rest a little and eat a sandwich," I say. I point toward the area I saw before and he nods. We put our backpacks down and I rummage through the bag for two sandwiches and two water bottles. As we eat he keeps glancing at me. "What?" I ask.

"I love you," he says out of nowhere. I smile at his admission.

"I love you, too," I reply. "Tobias, you do realize that I know that wasn't what you wanted to say," I say and take another bite. He nods.

"I kept thinking about what you said. About your dream," he says serious and I nod. "Tris, I promise you, you won't lose me. Even if I would decide to go with you mountain climbing I wouldn't go until I'm ready. And obviously I wouldn't start with one that is clearly not for amateurs," he tells me.

"I know that, Tobias. Logically, I agree and understand and I know that I'm overreacting," I say and he shakes his head.

"No, you're not. I know the feeling. I feel the same way about you. But you recently experienced something traumatic and you're still struggling with the aftermath of those events. It's okay to feel the way you do and if there's anything I can do to make you feel better tell me." I nod.

We stop talking and continue eating, but I know this conversation isn't over. If I would be on a mountain right now with Scott he would say to suck it up and get on with it. We would have a serious talk, but it wouldn't last more than ten minutes and it wouldn't come up a second time. The two of us just aren't wired that way. But with Tobias things are different. He listens to me, he helps me and he supports me. I know I can count on him no matter what.

After we finish eating we get up and resume our hike. We are about an hour away from the cabin which is good. It takes a while to heat up the place. Unlike before Tobias grabs my hand and holds it in his, rubbing small circles around my knuckles. I keep glancing at him and he seems deep in thought. He never pushed me into doing anything I didn't want, even though at times I could tell he wanted to ask me something. I decide to just ask him.

"What's on your mind, baby?" I ask and he looks at me. He closes his eyes for a moment and then looks at me again.

"Are you still planning on going to Argentina? I'm not trying to talk you out of it in case you want to go, I'm just wondering," he explains quickly remembering our first conversation. I smile.

"To be honest the idea of going isn't as appealing as it used to be. I thought about it a lot, but to be honest I might postpone it for later. The ideal time to climb Aconcagua is between December and March and even if I don't climb it this season there's always time to do it later," I say and squeeze his hand a little. He smiles at me and I can tell he is happy I don't plan on going anymore.

At first I thought I was doing it for him, telling myself that my decision would put his mind at ease, but truth be told it puts my own at ease. Tobias is right. What happened on Everest this year was traumatic and the nightmares I keep having are definitely taking a toll on me.

"Honey, whatever you decide, know that I will always support you," he says and raises my hand to his lips and places a soft kiss on the back of it.

"I know. And I support you," I say and return his sweet gesture.

We finally reach the cabin. I search for the key in my pocket and pull it out. I quickly send Tobias in the back to turn on the generator, which was prepared by the company who owns this cabin, while I unlock the door and enter the room switching on the light. Daylight is streaming inside, but the forest around the cabin prevents the cabin to be sufficiently illuminated just by it. We set our backpacks, as well as the cool box and grocery bag down and I let Tobias inspect the cabin.

"Babe, this place is awesome," he says.

"Yeah." I walk over to where he looks over the queen sized bed.

"Now I get why no one else could have come with us," he says grinning.

"That's not all," I say and wrap my arms around his waist.

"Is that so?" he asks raising an eyebrow and giving me a crocked smile.

"Yup. Follow me, baby," I say and let go of his waist and grab his right hand in mine. I pull him up the wooden staircase where a hot tub and the bathroom are located. The moment he sees the tub his face lights up.

"We're going to use this?" he asks hopeful.

"If you are a good boy" I say with a wink.

"Really?" he asks in disbelief. I know he joked when he asked me, but I fully intent to lose my virginity this weekend. I've been ready for a while now and I can't imagine my first time with anyone other than Tobias. I love him and he loves me back.

"Yup. But first we need to unpack and heat up this place," I say and he kisses my cheek.

While Tobias makes a fire in the fireplace I start preparing our supper. It's still early, but I want to get this over with to just relax and snuggle on the cozy couch in front of the fire. The kitchen is fully equipped with everything we might need, except for food. I decide to make spaghetti with meat balls and a tomato-basil sauce. It's not hard to prepare and done fairly quickly.

"Hm, this smells good in here," Tobias says as he enters the small kitchen.

"I'm making spaghetti," I say, looking over my shoulder. He comes to stand behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my right shoulder.

"Can I help you?" he asks.

"You can keep me company," I say as I continue working.

"This was a great idea, babe," he says nuzzling me neck.

"Baby, you're tickling me," I say and giggle.

"I thought you like my scruff," he says chuckling.

"I do, but not now. Supper is almost ready anyway. Why don't you go and set the table?"

"Sure." He lets go of me, but not before kissing my cheek.

We soon eat our early supper, chatting about school and things we would like to do together. At some point he gets up and goes to his backpack rummaging through it until he finds what he is looking for. He comes back to the table and sits down handing me a disc. I look from him to it and back to him with a confused look on my face.

"What's this?" I ask taking the disc from him and inspecting it. "20 songs that remind me of you," I read out loud.

"It's a modern version of a mix tape," he says rubbing the back of his neck a little embarrassed. "I know it's cheesy, but I couldn't help it."

"I love it," I say and look over the track list. "Wow, quite the collection here," I say with a chuckle.

"Yeah. There are more songs I wanted to include but I didn't have more space on that disc," he says and leans over to kiss me. When we part I start reading the list.

"Win by Brian McKnight. I don't know this song," I say and look at him.

"It's about never giving up and fighting on," he explains.

"The Climb by Miley Cyrus. Not really a fan, but the song's good," I say and smile. "Ha, Take my breath away," I say and look up at him.

"What kind of a mixed CD would it be without your I'm out of oxygen song?" he asks with a small laugh.

"True. Right here by Ashes Remain. I don't know it."

"We can listen to it later. Keep reading," he encourages.

"Alright. It's my life by Bon Jovi, yeah I get it. Aw, Love story by Taylor Swift. You hate T-Swift. That's so sweet you actually listened to the song," I say and get up from my seat. I sit down on his lap and wrap my left arm around his neck and kiss his lips.

"What makes you think I listened to the song?" he asks with a crooked smile.

"Because you wouldn't burn me a CD without knowing I would actually like the songs and as far as I can tell each song means something."

"You're right. But please don't make me listen to it again," he says with an adorable pout.

"No, don't worry. Let's see what else is here. Make you feel my love by Adele. I love this song. It's such a powerful ballad. Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes by Jimmy Buffett. I know this one. It's a great song, babe."

"I thought you might like that one," he says and kisses my cheek.

"Stand by me by Ben E. King, Just the way you are by Bruno Mars, I need your love by Calvin Harris, Thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran, My kind of love by Emeli Sande, Let her go by Passenger, Just say yes by Snow Patrol," I read the songs. "You wanna tell me something with these songs?" I ask with a grin.

"Just that I love you very much," he says and nuzzles my neck.

"High for this by The Weeknd. Don't tell me you brought pot," I say with a chuckle.

"No. But there are other ways to get high," he says smiling at me.

"Like?"

"Like kissing my beautiful girlfriend all day long. That always puts me in a state of euphoria," he says and I laugh a little, not because I don't believe it, but because of his choice of song.

"Whatever you say, Eaton. On the road again by Willie Nelson. Good song. We usually listen to this when we drive to a camp," I tell him, but then I remember that was Mikey's favorite song. I shake my head a little. This is not the time to get sad. "Don't stop believing by Journey."

"Yes, Tris. Never stop believing. You can do anything you want as long as you believe in yourself the way I do. I believe that no matter what, you will always stand up and keep walking."

"Ten Tonne Skeleton by Royal Blood," I say and laugh. I drove him nuts with that song.

"Another song you can listen to when I'm not around," he says and joins my laughter.

"Fuck off. Really, babe?" I ask as I see the last song. "Song of the Lonely Mountain by Neil Finn. Really? The Hobbit song?" I ask amused.

"Babe, you love Tolkien and kept singing that song for a whole week after we had that Hobbit marathon," he says and wraps his arms tighter around me.

"Come on. I didn't sing it for the whole week," I say raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you did. I had to keep kissing you to make you shut up," he says half serious.

"Oh, shut up. You love kissing me," I say and then he does just that. He kisses me passionately and I melt against him. I put the CD on the table and wrap both arms around him pulling him closer to me than before. I open my mouth and his tongue slips inside mating with my own. I moan into the kiss and feel him harden underneath me. This is it, Tris. Today is the day you become a woman. Today you'll become one with the man you love. Tobias groans and pulls back slightly, resting his forehead on mine.

"We should stop," he says.

"No, we should continue," I say.

"Tris, if we don't stop now, I don't think I'll be able to control myself much longer," he says breathless.

"Then don't," I say and his eyes shoot up to watch my face. He is trying to read my mind, trying to make sure that what he heard is what I said. "I'm ready, Tobias. I want this. I want you," I say and feel heat rising into my cheeks.

"Tris, we don't have to," he says weakly.

"I know we don't, but I want this. Unless, you don't," I say. Maybe I was so focused on what I want that I completely ignored what he wants.

"Babe, I want this too. I want you so badly," he says breathless before capturing my lips again. I moan again and Tobias stands up making me do the same. He lets his hands travel down my sides and cups my behind with his large hands. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms go around his neck. He slowly moves us toward the large bed, taking small steps in the unfamiliar space. We pass the fireplace and I can feel the heat of the fire against my right side. Gently, he lays me down on the bed. He quickly lays down over me, but makes sure not to put all his weight on me. He resumes our kiss holding himself up on one elbow, while his free hand travels along my side caressing it tenderly. I shiver underneath his touch and breathe heavily as the tension between us increases. Warmth spreads through my body and I feel tingling in my genital area, as if my body knows and can't wait for what is about to happen between us. I've waited a long time for this and I am sure. This is it. Tobias is the one I want to share this with for the first time and hopefully many times to come. No pun intended.

He kisses me on the lips for a brief moment before his full lips leave mine to kiss along my jaw and neck, lightly sucking the heated flesh leaving tiny love marks here and there, but I don't mind them at all. His hand moves from where it was resting on my stomach to my left boob kneading it through the fabric of my shirt, eliciting more noises from me. I had no idea that I could even make such sounds. They sound foreign to me, as if they aren't coming from me at all. I arch my back feeling this urge to be closer to him. I open my legs and he settles between them without his mouth leaving the exposed skin it can find. I wrap my legs around his waist pulling him down to me while my arms snake around his large back. I allow my hands to roam his body as much as they can from this position all the while he continues his ministrations.

After what seems like hours he lifts himself up a little to gaze into my eyes. His own are darker than I've ever seen them before. His usually dark blue eyes are now dark, almost black. He smiles softly which in turn makes me smile too.

"Are you sure?" he asks. I nod, because there is suddenly a lump in my throat. He leans down and captures my lips in a loving kiss before he abruptly pulls back looking at me with wide eyes, a shocked expression on his face.

"What? What is it?" I ask alerted.

"I don't have condoms. I mean, I have some in my glove compartment, in the car," he says and tries to stand up, but I hold him tightly pressed against me.

"I'm on the pill," I say and he looks at me surprised.

"Really?" he asks.

"Yeah. Been on it for over a year now. The doctor prescribed it for something else," I explain, as I see his mind racing somewhere else.

"Oh," is all he says.

"Unless you don't want to."

"No, it's okay, I guess. I never did it… you know…bare," he says a little shy.

"I didn't do it at all," I say and my stupid joke makes him smile. "I'd like to change that," I add, trying to reassure him that I'm ready.

"You know, the way things go right now it would seem I'm the virgin not you," he says with a chuckle.

"In that case, I promise I'll be gentle," I say and he laughs.

"That's very considerate of you. Thank you," he says as he kisses me again.

He leaves my lips and stands up removing his shirt. I sit up and he reaches for the hem of my own, pulling it slowly over my head and tossing it on the floor next to his. His eyes nearly pop out when he sees the see-through bodice I put on this morning, fully intending to elicit this exact same reaction from him. He kisses my collar bone while unbuttoning and unzipping my pants, pulling them down leaving me in just my underwear and socks. As he looks over my lingerie covered body I feel heat rise into my cheeks. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

"You are so beautiful and you look so hot in this," he says as his large palms slide along my sides.

"You are not so bad yourself," I say smirking, trying to cover up the nervousness that is slowly eating me from the inside.

"Please, promise you'll stop me or say something if it's too much or I hurt you," he says seriously.

"Don't worry. I trust you. And I love you. I wouldn't be here, like this, with you if it were otherwise."

He nods. I reach out for his zipper and pull it down, I unbutton his pants and they fall to the ground. He steps out and resumes his hovering position over me.

We kiss, we caress, we whisper sweet nothings filled with love and adoration as we give ourselves to the other. The pain I feel from being stretched for the first time is nothing compared to the incredible sensation of being united in such an intimate way with him. We move in sync as if we have been doing this our whole lives. Our love grows only more as we moan each other's names reaching an invisible state of pure bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know that you might have wanted some smut here, but I figured for their first time it'll be better to be a little more classy. You know I can be dirty, but this chapter required something more soft. I will update soon, I promise. I just have to rewrite the next chapter to make it sexier :)
> 
> If any of you reads The Highest Summit remember not to spoil things for others. You'll get it when you read it.


	25. Staying warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi everyone. I'm so sorry for being AWOL for so long. Since I last posted a lot has happened. The Prince and the Witch: A Divergent Fairy Tale, I've updated Divergent Guardian, I've finished You And Me Against the World and I started writing something new. For now it's a work in progress and I'll post it as a Divergent modern day story, but it can easily be rewritten to be original. Actually, it is original, the names of the characters are the only Divergent thing about it and a couple of terms. But more to that later. Enjoy this new chapter of Conquer Yourself.

Tobias' POV

We must have fallen asleep, because the only light source in the room is the fireplace. I look to my right where Tris is snuggled against me under the covers. She looks peaceful and happy and I'm glad that I was the one bringing that smile to her face.

I can't believe we finally did it. No. We didn't just do it. This was different. We didn't just have sex. We made love. The few other times I was with a girl can't be compared to what I shared with Tris. That was just sex with those other girls, no real feelings. But with Tris things are different. I joked that I acted like the virgin, but in a way I was. This was the first time I was intimate with someone that I love.

I look at the fire again and realize it's almost going out. I manage to get out of bed without waking this sweet angel that I can call mine and rush over to put a few logs in heating the cabin up again. I watch the flames dance and I smile to myself. Tris is it for me. I don't care how young we are. She is my best friend, my confidant, my partner, my lover, my soul mate. I couldn't imagine anyone else filling that position.

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't even hear Tris get out of bed and coming to where I sit in front of the fireplace.

"It's too cold to sit here naked," she says sitting down next to me and holding the comforter she is wearing around her shoulders up so that I can put it around me too. I smile and kiss her and she snuggles close to me for warmth.

"Thank you, babe," I tell her.

"You're welcome. So, you already bored with me and decided to be entertained by the fire?" she asks looking at the fireplace, but I know she's messing with me.

"Yeah, you fell asleep immediately and I got bored just lying there," I joke.

"Not true," she says looking up at me with her beautiful gray-blue eyes. "You were out before me. I even played with your hair while you were asleep."

"Ah, now I get while my hair is so messy," I say and kiss her cheek. We remain like this for a while, me holding her with one arm and she resting her head on my shoulder. "That was incredible," I say. I don't have to say what, she knows.

"Yeah, was okay," she teases. "I hope I wasn't too rough, I mean it was your first time after all," she says and looks at me.

"You were very sweet and gentle. Thank you," I say and kiss her lips. When we part I feel very warm and pull her onto my lap. She sits down facing me and I kiss her again. I never wanted to kiss anyone as much as I want to kiss her. It's like I'm an addict and she is my drug of choice. "But seriously, Tris, that was incredible. I had sex before, but what we shared wasn't sex, it was love. Thank you for that," I tell her.

"It was, wasn't it?" she asks playing with my hair again.

"Did it hurt?" I ask her.

"A little, but I had worse. Besides I knew it was coming and I wanted this, I wanted us to be together. Thank you for being so patient and caring throughout this time," she says laying her head on my shoulder as she absentmindedly traces my jaw line with her right index finger.

"I would have waited twice as long or more if that's what you needed. I don't want you to do things you are not comfortable with just for my sake."

"I know and same goes for you. Deal?"

"Deal." I hold her close to me, rubbing her back and inhaling her scent. "Tris?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you very much," I tell her.

"I love you, too."

We sit there in front of the fire for a long while enjoying the warmth and tranquility, but more importantly each other's company. I think of my life so far. My childhood wasn't the best, it wasn't the worst either, but with my father being abusive toward my mother and me it sure left a mark. I always felt damaged because of that. But the way Tris looks at me, touches me, kisses me I feel whole and worthy. She has no idea the impact she had on me. She is so brave and strong without even trying. She loves so fiercely and with such passion that you can literally feel the love radiate from her body. It's intoxicating, inspiring. I vow that I will always do everything I can to keep that fire inside her burning, whatever the cost. She deserves it. I will protect her, no matter what. I will hold her when she cries. I will heal her when she's hurt. I will love her when she doubts herself. I will cry for her when she's too exhausted. And I will live for her so that she won't ever give up. I didn't know what it meant to love someone that you would consider dying for that person until I met her. The love I feel for her is like a living organism inside me, growing every day, getting stronger and demanding more attention. I can only hope that she feels the same. But if I know one thing about Beatrice Prior that's that she loves unconditionally and truly. With her it's what you see is what you get. No tricks, no make-up, no disguise. She is real, honest, kind. I'm the luckiest son of the bitch to ever walk this earth.

"What are you humming?" she asks amused and startles me.

"What?"

"You were humming something. What was it?" she asks looking at me with those beautiful eyes of hers.

"Uhm, I don't know. I didn't even notice I did it," I say truthfully. She starts humming and I think I recognize the song. "Ah, it's Right Here by Ashes Remain. It's one of the songs on your CD. It's my favorite, it reminds me so much of you," I tell her. I didn't even notice that I started humming that song, but I shouldn't be surprised. When I heard it for the first time after Tris told me about Everest it was like the singer sang about her and me. I decide to sing it to her. I don't have the best singing voice, but I still sound better than her. I chuckle.

"What?" she asks curious.

"Do you want me to sing it to you?" I ask her.

"Yes." I start singing the first verses and when I get to the chorus I turn her so that we can face each other.

"I'll be right here now, to hold you when the sky falls down. I will always be the One who took your place. When the rain falls I won't let go. I'll be right here," I sing and she starts smiling widely. I continue the song and watch her as she understands why I've been humming this particular song. It's like a promise I make to her and to myself. "I'll show you how to live again and heal the brokenness within. Let me love you when you come undone." I see as tears gather in her eyes and when I reach to wipe them away she shakes her head and I let them fall. "When daybreak seems so far away reach for my hand," I sing and grab both of hers in mine holding them over my heart. "I'll be right here." When I'm finished she launches herself at me and holds me tightly to her naked body. I wrap my arms around her, loving the feel of skin on skin and inhaling the unique scent that is Tris.

"I love you so much, Tobias. That was wonderful," she says as she pulls away slightly to look me in the eyes. "No one ever did something so beautiful for me," she says.

"It's not my song," I say a little shy and rub the back of my neck.

"I know that," she chuckles. "You picked this song and all the others and made that CD. Every song means something, but more importantly it means that you know me. The real me. And now you serenaded me," she says in awe.

"It was nothing really."

"Yeah, it was. Thank you. And message received," she says. "But you have to know that the same goes for you. I will always be here for you, whenever you need me."

"I know. I love you," I say and capture her lips in a sweet, tender kiss, that soon grows passionate and we switch our sitting positions to lying down. I sprawled the blanket on the wooden floor to keep her warm and hover over her. She gives me a slight nod and I make love to her a second time today.

We decided to try out the hot tub. Tris put up some scented candles while I made sure the fire wouldn't go out. I sit inside it and Tris sits in front of me between my parted legs and her back against my chest. I casually play with her breasts and she giggles when I tickle her. Our peace and quiet however is interrupted when her phone rings. We both groan in frustration since we enjoyed the warm, relaxing water. She picks it up and shows me who is calling. Scott. Why does this guy have to call now?

"Hey, Scott," Tris says friendly. "No, I'm not home. Went hiking with Four," she says and turns her head to look at me and smiles. "None of your God damn business," she barks into the phone. "Scott," she says sternly. "Alright. Four and I fuck our brains out. Satisfied?" she yells and my eyes widen. "You are a piece of shit, Scott Fisher," she says. "No, I've changed my mind. Because. I want to stay put for now. I don't care if you believe that or not. Don't be a dick. You suck. Stop laughing. I'm hanging up now. Bye." She puts her phone down and leans back on me with a sigh.

"Dare I ask?"

"He wanted to know if I'm still planning on going to Argentina later this year. I told him no."

"What about the fucking part?" I ask with a chuckle.

"Oh, that. He teased me that I just dragged you with me hiking to snuggle you. So, I told him we were fucking and obviously he didn't believe me," she says with a little laugh.

"You are something, you know that?"

"Of course, I do," she says with a smug grin.

"And for the record we're not fucking, we're making sweet love," I correct her earlier statement.

"I know that, but Scott doesn't have to know," she says and we both laugh. "I almost don't want to leave."

"Me neither, but we still have tomorrow," I tell her and kiss her temple.

"Yeah. Hey, Tobias."

"Yeah?"

"How about we stay here until Monday morning? I don't have to return the key until Monday afternoon. What do you say?"

"What do you think I'm going to say?" I ask and lick her earlobe, eliciting a moan from her. I smirk. I love the way she responds to my caresses and kisses. I love that I can make her feel good.

"I think you are a very naughty boy, Mr. Eaton," she says and abruptly turns around and straddles my hips. She positions herself almost expertly above me and the next thing I know is we are both moving in sync toward this wonderland we've discovered only a few hours ago.

It is passed midnight when we snuggle together under the warm comforter whispering sweet nothings to each other. I can't believe that this is even happening. Each time I hold her in my arms it's like the first and yet I feel like I know this girl, no, this woman, like she is a part of me. That's not entirely true. Tris is a part of me the same way I am a part of her and nothing will ever change that. I loved her before, but now I love her even more. I must have made a sound because she looks up at me with a questioning look on her face.

"What are you thinking about?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You, me, us," I answer and she smiles. Her slender finger traces my jaw line before it settles on my lips. I kiss the tip of it, unable to keep myself from doing that. It's silly, but I don't care. I love being silly with her.

"You looked so far away."

"I was thinking that our love changed. It was attraction at first, then infatuation, then real, deep feelings developed and now I'm absolutely sure this is real love that will last forever," I say. I know this is a bold claim, but I want her to know how I feel and what I think of our relationship. She remains silent and for a moment I think I overstepped some boundary or assumed too much too early. But then she smiles that angelic smile of hers and I crash my lips over hers.

"Our love is like the first law of thermodynamics," she says and I raise an eyebrow. "Think about it. Energy can't neither be created nor destroyed, it can only transform. Our love is the same. It changed gradually and adapted to the current state of our relationship," she explains. That's a bit of a stretch, but I can't find it in me to say anything when she's so adorable. I lean in and kiss her again. If I could freeze any given moment in time it would be this one.

The next morning I wake up with Tris lying on top of me. She is wide awake and straddling my hips. I smile at her and she smiles back.

"Morning, beautiful," I say and realize how hoarse my voice is.

"Morning, handsome," she replies and kisses me. "How did you sleep?" she asks smoothing down my hair.

"Best sleep ever," I answer and pull her closer to me. She lays her head on my chest and we both enjoy the closeness. It seems like a lifetime ago that we made love for the first time and yet it hasn't been even twenty four hours. I rub her back and feel her smile against my skin.

"Is it bad that I don't ever want to leave this cabin?" she asks and turns her head so that we can look at each other.

"No. I wish we could stay here forever," I tell her honestly.

"But we can't," she says with a frown.

"No. But it doesn't matter. As long as we're together everything else is just scenery," I say and she chuckles.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

She leans up and kisses me softly. It's a chaste kiss at first but soon it grows and demands more. I turn us around and she is now lying beneath me while I explore her mouth with my tongue. I let my free hand caress her left boob making her moan and arch her back, pressing herself closer to me. I smirk into the kiss and feel as she slowly spreads her legs for me. I push the comforter down since I'm too hot with it over my shoulders and I'm sure Tris feels the same.

I leave her mouth and travel to her neck, sucking it until I give her a hickey. I travel to her collar where I kiss each raven before my mouth latches onto her erect nipple, while my hand keeps kneading the other mound. She writhes underneath my touch and moans softly, making me harder with each passing minute. I travel downward until my face is right in front of her delicious womanhood. I flick my tongue out and lap at her before I suck on her sensitive bundle of nerves. She lifts herself off the bed and I have to push her back down. I insert my tongue inside her eliciting louder moans from her. She reaches for my hair and grabs a fistful, unable to control herself.

"More," she begs and I replace my tongue with two fingers and start pumping her. I'm so turned on right now I think I might come by just watching her get off. She opens her eyes and I see a predatory look in them. She lifts herself up and sits up so quickly I think she must have moved with the speed of light. She crashes her mouth over mine and we kiss savagely. I never knew she could be so aggressive and passionate, not that I mind.

She somehow manages to flip us over and I'm on my back now while she hovers over me. She kisses me one more time before she licks her palm and then rubs her entrance. That sole image is enough to drive me crazy but I hold back. I want to be with her. She positions herself above me and slowly impales herself on my throbbing member. We both moan loudly at the deep penetration and she remains still for a moment, getting used to my size. I'm really happy she enjoys this as much as I do. I know we guys like sex more, but damn I love it that she is so into it too. It's love making, yeah, but it's also wild and crazy sometimes. Sounds strange, sometimes, like we've been doing this for a long time.

Tris starts rocking back and forth for a while, establishing a steady rhythm and before I know it she is bouncing up and down my length smiling widely. She bends forward a little to steady herself on my shoulders, while I hold onto her hips, while she's slamming herself against me. I jerk my hips upward to meet each of her thrusts and together we race to an invisible edge that we came to cherish as a couple. I'm so in love with this woman, my woman. I will never stop loving her for the rest of my days.

I can feel my release approach quickly and look at her. I know she's close too, but it's hard for her to concentrate on her release while she has to lift herself up over and over again. I flip us over, startling her a bit, but immediately start pounding her, making sure my baby comes with me. I increase my pace and reach between us to rub her clit and that's it. Tris comes hard and screams my name while I moan hers and collapse on top of her. We remain like this for a few minutes and then I roll off of her, kissing her cheek in the process.

"I could get used to this," I say lying on my back.

"What?" she asks breathlessly.

"Sex for breakfast," I answer and she starts laughing.

"Me too," she says and we both laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thoughts?


	26. Burying the hatchet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If you haven't seen the new Allegiant trailer than go and check it out. It's awesome. Oh, the feels. #FourTris

Tris' POV

The weekend Tobias and I spent together at the cabin was one of the best things I've ever experienced. Not only did we make love for the first time, but we also talked about our future together. We both know that we are young and a lot can happen, but I can't imagine my life without him. We are more than just boyfriend and girlfriend, we became best friends, partners in everything we do, we confide in each other, we are there for one another. I don't care what mom or Evelyn or anyone for that matter thinks. Let them think this is just a teenage infatuation that will fade as soon as Tobias goes to college or I pack my stuff and climb a mountain. He and I know better and that's all that matters.

History class is as boring as ever. I look outside the window and look over the soccer field. Instantly, I remember the events of Friday night when Nita was raped. I shudder at the memory. She and I aren't friends, but I don't wish something like that to anyone. I know from Christina that Nita was released Saturday afternoon after the police got her statement of the events. The girls told me that her father came to school and talked to the principal. Apparently, Nita will be home schooled until she feels better. I guess they will keep her home until after the Christmas season and classes are resumed.

Tobias has soccer practice this afternoon and gave me his truck to drive home. He will get a ride with Caleb anyway. On my way home I pass Nita's house. I know it's hers because Christina pointed it out a few weeks ago. I decide to pay her a visit. I don't know why, but it feels like the right thing to do. I park the truck in their drive way and get out. I slowly walk to the front door and ring their doorbell. I wait for about a minute until someone opens the door, a man, presumably her father.

"Can I help you?" he asks not particularly harsh, but a bit unfriendly.

"Uhm, my name is Tris. Tris Prior. I go to the same school as your daughter," I say a little awkward. What was I thinking? Why did I even stop?

"Tris?" he asks and his expression softens. "You were the one who helped my daughter," he says and before I know it he pulls me into his arms embracing me tightly. What is going on?

"Who is it, dear?" I hear a female voice. Mr. Alvarez lets go of me and turns around slightly.

"Honey, this is Tris Prior, the girl who helped our Nita," he says. I watch the woman, Mrs. Alvarez, look from her husband to me and her eyes fill with tears. Immediately her husband rushes to her and hugs her. This is awkward, at least for me.

"Excuse us, Tris," Mrs. Alvarez says. "Please, come in. I'll tell Nita that you came to visit," she says.

"No, wait," I say and they both look at me surprised. "I mean, Nita and I aren't really friends. I just wanted to check on her and if there is anything I can do please tell me," I say and her mother starts crying.

"Don't cry, mi vida," Mr. Alvarez says softly to his wife. "Forgive her, Tris," he says apologetically and I just wave my hand in a dismissive gesture.

"What are you doing here?" Nita asks as she comes to the front door.

"Mija, don't be rude," Mr. Alvarez scolds her a little.

"Did you come to laugh at me?" she asks me with rage in her eyes.

"No," I say. I should feel angry that she even implies something like that, but she is hurt and needs a punching bag to get her frustration out. I watch as several emotions cross Nita's face – anger, rage, desperation, hurt, defeat. I don't know why but my legs moved on their own accord and I'm now hugging Nita tightly. She doesn't move at first but then she starts sobbing and wraps her arms around me. She starts crying and I let her. I feel her parents wrap themselves around us and they all start crying. Okay, this is definitely awkward, but I wouldn't change this moment for anything. It's like I'm seeing the human that is actually Nita instead of the Barbie doll she always pretends to be.

I spend the next two hours sitting first with Nita and her parents in their living room and then just with her in her bedroom. We talked about so many things that I can't understand why we haven't done this before. She is actually a very smart girl, but she likes to put on a show.

"I'm sorry, Tris," she says.

"For what?" I ask her confused. For once she didn't do anything to offend or hurt me.

"For everything I ever did or said to you that was mean," she says.

"It's okay, water under the bridge," I say, but she shakes her head.

"No, it's not okay. I always tried to be popular, wanted to be the It girl wherever I went. I had a crush on Four ever since junior high and when he picked you over me, so simple and unnoticeable as you are, I just lost it," she says with a sad laugh.

"Well, to be fair, he has some strange tastes," I say, trying to make her feel better. She actually laughs at that.

"I really am sorry, Tris. You are a nice girl and anyone can see that you and Four belong together. I always wanted something like that, but my own stupidity drove every nice guy away. No one dared asking me out for the dance, did you know that?" she asks and my eyes widen in shock. I shake my head.

"I thought you were there with Eric," I blurt out.

"No. I mean yeah I was, but not on a date. I was so jealous of you for dancing with Four. And no, I'm not in love with him, at least not anymore. I was jealous of what you two have and wondered why I couldn't have that. And then," she trails off. I know what she is thinking of.

"Hey, it's over. Those motherfuckers are in jail and will spend a lot of time there," I say and hug her again.

"Why are you so nice to me?" she asks.

"Why wouldn't I be? I told you, what happened between us is in the past. I'm not saying we're best buddies now, but as long as you promise to keep your slimy claws off my boyfriend I can actually see you as a random acquaintance instead of a soul eating succubus," I say and she bursts out laughing. She laughs so hard that tears start to form in the corner of her eyes. Her parents come into her room and look perplexed at us. Upon seeing their confused faces we both laugh more that I swear I can't breathe anymore.

"It's so good to hear that sound again," Mr. Alvarez says holding his daughter as the three of them walk me to the door. It was getting late and I realized I forgot my phone in Tobias' truck.

"Thank you, Tris, for everything you did and still do for my Nita," Mrs. Alvarez says and I blush a little.

"Don't be a stranger," Nita says and hugs me. I bid my goodbyes and walk the short distance to the car. I get inside and check my phone. Wow, three missed calls and about a dozen messages, most of them from Tobias. I call his phone and put him on speaker as I drive home.

"Tris, where are you? Why didn't you pick up? Are you okay?" Tobias asks one question after the other without leaving me enough time to answer.

"Tobias, calm down. I'm on my way home."

"Are you alright? Where have you been?"

"I'm fine. I visited Nita," I say.

"What?" he asks clearly confused.

"I passed her house and somehow I felt like paying her a visit."

"A visit? Babe, why would you go there? You know she is always so mean to you," he says a little frustrated.

"Tobias, I'm not a kid. I can differentiate between her attacking me and her being hurt and vulnerable. I just went to check if she's alright."

"Why did you stay there for so long? I've been back home for almost two hours," he says with a loud sigh.

"Because we talked, we both apologized and while we're not best buddies we decided to bury the hatchet. She is actually a nice person, I mean if you remove her provocative clothes and make-up and the bully attitude."

"Whatever, babe. Drive carefully," he tells me.

"Of course I will. Your truck is in good hands," I say jokingly. I know he was talking about my safety, but I like to tease him about his truck.

"You better. I don't' want to see any scratches on my baby," he says catching my drift.

"What if I return your precious man-mobile with scratches? What will you do?" I ask him seductively. Ever since we made love we talk a lot more freely about these things, but of course always in private, without anyone around. The girls grilled me today to tell them if we finally did it and while I didn't say much I told them that I'm no longer a girl, but a woman. They squealed and jumped up and down as if I just won state championship at some sport.

"Then I'll have to spank your cute little butt," he says in a husky, desire filled voice. While we were alone in that cabin and could run around naked and fool around as much as we wanted everything was fine, but now that we're back we have to keep it in our pants so to speak.

"In that case, I think I'm going for that dumpster I hit during my first lesson," I say.

"Don't you dare, babe," he says seriously.

"What if I behave and am a good girl? What will my reward be?" I ask and I hear him gulp. During our weekend we tried out a few things. I wasn't sure at first and I only heard the girls talk about this or that, but I got curious and I never back away from a challenge. I'm no expert when it comes to oral, but I think he enjoyed it enough to let me try it again. In the end, we have all the time in the world to get better at everything. The sole thought makes me blush and I have to swallow down a giggle. The dumb grin on my face, however, will probably still be there by the time I wake up tomorrow morning.

"Babe, you're killing me," he says.

"I hope not. I still need you," I say. We joke, but I'm sure I couldn't handle losing him forever.

"How about we go to a movie, a drive-in movie?" he asks.

"Naughty boy," I say and can't help the giggle escaping my lips.

"Admit it, you are just as naughty," he challenges.

"Maybe."


	27. The superhero argument

Tobias' POV

It's almost Halloween. Tris and I are better than ever. We managed to sneak around a few times for some one on one time, but it gets more and more difficult to leave after I make love to her. With each time I crave her more than before and I feel myself getting more and more anxious each time I get near her. I want to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her, to be with her. All the fucking time. If I was an addict before, now I must be an incurable zombie. Maybe I should dress up as one for the Halloween party at Zeke's. Tris purposefully kept it a secret what she plans on wearing, said it was a surprise. I told her if she plans on wearing anything sexy I would kidnap her like the Hunchback did with Esmeralda and lock her away in a tall tower where no one will ever find her. She immediately said yes to that idea saying that she would willingly hide from the rest of the world with me. Am I lucky or what?

To everyone's surprise, but not so much mine, Tris became friends with Nita. The latter still hasn't returned to school, but Tris tells us she is doing better. Therapy works and it seems the new found friendship between my girlfriend and her ex-nemesis helps Nita a great deal. Who would've thought?

"Dude, are you even listening?" Zeke asks and I look at him.

"What?"

"You totally zoned out. What the heck is going on with you? Keep thinking of your hot girlfriend?" he asks teasingly.

"Shut up," I say pushing him lightly. We are currently in class. Mr. Miller, our geography teacher talks about, well, I have no clue; I haven't really paid attention.

"Admit it, Four. You think of her," he says a bit more serious.

"Of course I am. I'm so lucky to have her."

"Don't make it sound like she isn't lucky to have you," Shauna chimes in from in front of me. "I've never seen Bee so happy and carefree. Matt says she's always like that when she's climbing and now you brought the mountain to her," she says smiling. I remember something that I heard the first time I met Tris. You don't conquer the mountain, but yourself. I asked her about it and she explained that even though you climb a mountain it is you who you conquer in the end.

"Still. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve her," I say sighing.

"Bull shit, Four. You two are made for each other. It wouldn't surprise me if we would meet in ten years for our high school reunion and you show us cute pictures of your adorable babies," Shauna says grinning widely. I blush at what she said and try to find a way out of this conversation. "Oh, suck it up, Eaton. We all know you guys are it for each other. The way you look at her, the way she talks about you, those fucking heart eyes you both have when you see each other. It's almost sickening, if I weren't so happy for you both."

"Thanks, Shauna, but can we please change the subject. We are still in high school and our relationship is still new," I say.

"Yeah, woman, give the man some time to breathe before he settles down and has a bunch of little babies," Zeke teases.

"You guys suck," I say, but I can't be mad at them. They both mean well and they both care for me and Tris.

When the teacher finally scolds us for talking during class they both stop talking and I can resume paying attention. Or at least I try.

Lunch break is my favorite part of the day. My friends and I sit at our regular table waiting for the sophomores to come join us. I know that Tris had a rough day today, an Algebra test and a book report. I keep glancing toward the entrance to see if my girl comes in, but so far nothing. As a matter of fact none of the sophomores are here. I wonder if something happened. I have this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, like something bad happened or is about to happen. I'm not superstitious or anything, but I've been having this feeling for a while now. I worry that it has something to do with Tris. However, she said she wouldn't go to Argentina to climb that mountain. Just as I'm about to get up and head out looking for her they come in talking loudly, arguing.

"Hey, babe," she says spotting me.

"Hey, honey. What's up?" I ask curious as to why they are arguing. She just shakes her head a little and pulls me with her to sit back down. The rest of my friends sit down as well and Zeke, Shauna, Caleb and I look at them with curiosity.

"Girl, you are wrong. Iron Man is the best Avenger," Uriah says.

"Fuck off, no way," Lynn argues. "Black Widow all the way."

"I think Captain America is the best," Marlene says.

"That's because you think he is cute," Lynn says rolling her eyes.

"Can we please talk about something else?" Christina asks frustrated.

"I think Superman is better," Will chimes in.

"Will, man, we talk Marvel here. Stop trying to feed us DC," Uriah says looking at his friend.

"Guys, please, you are all wrong," Tris says calmly gesturing with her hands for them to settle down. "The best Avenger is without a doubt Thor. Period."

"Did you guys seriously argue about some dumb comic book characters?" Shauna asks and all of them glare at her.

"Don't you ever dare say that in my presence again," Uriah growls. If I wouldn't have known him for so long I would actually be impressed. He likes to play tough but he is a nice, good-natured guy, loyal and honest and one of the best friends any one could want.

"Geez, relax," Shauna says raising her hands in a defensive manner.

"You should watch it next time, Shauna," Tris says. "You have here some hardcore Marvel fans," she says gesturing around to make her point. Zeke and I have been holding back our laughter until now but burst out at Shauna's funny expression.

"O-kay," she says awkwardly which makes the rest of them laugh with us.

"Hey, babe," I say and she turns her head to me.

"Yeah?"

"Wanna come over to my place? Mom and dad go to Rose's recital and we'll have a little alone time," I tell her and wiggle my eyebrows suggestively. She giggles at that and nods slightly.

I hold her close to me, my arm around her middle, while she eats her lunch and converses with Uriah about which Marvel character is the best superhero.

"Peter Parker," Uriah says.

"Forget it. Daisy Johnson," she counters.

"Who's Daisy Johnson?" Marlene asks.

"Leader of the Inhumans, a hybrid alien race with superpowers. She's better known under her codename Quake," Tris explains.

"It's so hot when you talk comic books," I whisper to her and make her blush.

"Stop that," she says and hits my chest lightly with the back of her hand.

"You'll pay for this," I tell her seductively.

"I hope so," she says and kisses my jaw.

"Ew, stop it with the PDA. It's gross," Zeke says in mock disgust.

"Fuck off. You're just jealous 'cause my girlfriend likes to kiss me and yours just kicks your ass," I counter.

"You're such a dick," Zeke says scoffing.

"At least I'm not in the doghouse," I say and that makes him shut up and start pouting.

The rest of the day goes by quickly, but unfortunately I have soccer practice since we're having a game this Saturday. Christina offered to drive Tris home, although that usually means they stop by the mall and Chris drags her through a million stores as Tris puts it. I kiss her goodbye, lingering for as long as I can before I release her.

"I love you," I tell her and peck her lips one last time.

"I love you, too. Call me when you get home so that I can come over," she says with a wink.

"I will. Be safe," I say to her.

"You too. Bye." I let go of her hand, her fingers slipping through mine and she turns around and walks toward the parking lot. I watch her as she gets into Christina's car and the two of them drive off.

Soccer practice is tedious and it seems like Amar gets a kick out of making us run around on the field like idiots. By the time we run our fifth lap I'm both tired and anxious. I want to get home as fast as possible. Mom and dad might be out tonight, but they won't stay out for too long.

"Alright, guys. That's it for today," Amar announces and I sprint toward the shower. I would forgo showering here and do it at home, but I'm really sweaty and I just cleaned my car. I don't want it to smell, especially since I promised Tris to lend it to her tomorrow.

I shower quickly and ignore my team mates completely as they keep talking about the game and whatnot. I put my dark blue jeans and my dark gray sweater on and stuff my gym clothes into my duffle. I hurry to the parking lot, when I feel my phone vibrate. I pull it out and see a text from Tris.

Got a little something for you to unwrap me.

Damn. Doesn't she know that this will prevent me from moving? I chuckle to myself as I get in my car and start the engine. I'm so glad that things are good between us. I couldn't ask for more.

I am so happy that I can't erase this stupid grin off of my face. I think I'm going to…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What happened?


	28. Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For the next three chapters I recommend to listen to the song that inspired them and somewhat tells the story of Tris and Tobias. "Right Here" by Ashes Remain. FYI, prepare tissues, because I cried really hard and I rarely do that.

Tris' POV

It's past 6.30 p.m. Tobias should be home by now, but he hasn't called me yet. He's probably taking a shower or eating supper.

It's 7 p.m. and Tobias still hasn't called. I look at the screen on my phone and the picture of me and him lying down on a picnic blanket stares back at me. He is probably busy with some homework. I shouldn't worry. I always prided myself for not being a controlling girlfriend, but who am I kidding, I want to know where he is and why he hasn't called me yet. He usually calls when something comes up and we had plans. Why would he invite me over if he had prior engagements? No, something is up.

I dial his number but there's no answer. I let it ring until the voicemail is activated. I decide to not leave a message but try again. And again. And again. By the sixth or seventh time I'm already panicking.

Maybe his truck broke down or something, but he would have answered his phone then. Maybe Amar kept them longer at practice. I mean, Caleb isn't home yet. I decide to try calling my brother. It rings twice and then he picks up. I hear him laugh and then answer.

"Hey, Bee. What's up?" he asks.

"Where's Four?" I ask directly, not caring for politeness or anything.

"I don't know. Home, maybe."

"When did he leave?"

"Right after practice," Caleb answers and I feel myself getting angrier and more panicked by the minute.

"Which was when?" I ask forceful.

"Calm down. Uhm, at least an hour ago."

"What?" I ask. At this point I put on my shoes and hurry over to Tobias'. I knock on the door but there is no answer. His truck isn't here either. What the hell is going on?

"Bee, you still there?"

"Yeah," I say with a sigh and run my free hand through my hair.

"You okay?" he asks. No, I'm having a panic attack.

"I don't know. I can't reach him. We were supposed to see each other right after his soccer practice but he hasn't called me yet and he doesn't answer his phone either. I'm worried."

"Calm down, sis. I'll be right home," Caleb says alerted. I hang up and try a few more times to reach Tobias but he still doesn't pick up. Where are you, baby?

I know his parents are at Rose's recital, but maybe they wanted him to go there too and he couldn't talk his way out and is now stuck there and I freak out for nothing. I dial Evelyn's number and wait for her to pick up. It rings several times and I almost give up when I hear her answer.

"Hello?" she asks whispering.

"Mrs. Anderson, it's me Tris. Is Tobias with you?" I ask her without any kind of excuses or meaningless chit-chat.

"No. He had soccer practice and told me he wouldn't be able to make it to the recital. He should be at home," she says, but I can sense that I worried her. I hope everything is alright with him.

"Tobias isn't home. The truck isn't here and he doesn't answer his phone. I'm really worried," I say and feel tears streaming down my cheeks. I can't hold it in anymore. I fall down to my knees and sob uncontrollably. Something is wrong. I can feel it. He would never let me wait this long without calling or texting me. He would let me know that he is fine.

I hear Evelyn talk, shout even but I can't understand anything. It is like she's a million miles away and only the wind carries her words so that I can acknowledge their existence, but not their meaning. I hear a car and instantly look up.

"Tobias," I whisper. But it isn't him. It's my brother's car. It's Caleb.

"Tris," he says panicked, his face is pale, he is covered in sweat, but not from training, I can smell his shower gel on him. He is nervous. He looks me in the eyes and I can't figure out what I see: pity, fear, shock.

"What do you know?" I ask emphasizing each word as if he wouldn't understand me otherwise.

"Tris, I," he says and stops. He opens and closes his mouth several times but nothing comes out.

"Damn it, speak," I yell and startle him.

"Bee, Four had an accident," he says and from that moment on I'm paralyzed.


	29. A promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Keep listening to "Right Here" by Ashes Remain :)

Tris' POV

I wasn't allowed to see him until now. They told me family first. Evelyn stayed in his room the longest. Clark went in with Rose, so that she could see her brother, and then brought her back out, leaving her with my parents. He then returned to his son's room. I wanted to enter and be with him, but I knew that once inside nothing could get me to leave. I needed to give his parents time with him.

I look around the waiting room. All his friends are here and even those who aren't very close to him came. Nita came to offer her support, but I just want to be left alone. Each time someone dared to come close to me got a death glare from me and retreated as fast as humanly even possible. I don't need them or anything they could say to me. I want Tobias. I need Tobias. I need him to be okay. I need him to hold me. I need him to kiss me. I need him to tell me he loves me. I need to feel his rapid heartbeat underneath my fingertips when we make love.

Clark exits his room and looks like he will fall apart any minute now. I know he isn't Tobias' real father, but a dad is more than just a sperm donor. It's the person who is there for you when you're sick and sad, who comes to your ball games, who gives you advice and listens to your problems, who takes a punch for you or from you because he knows that's what you need and he would do it all over again, because he loves you more than anything. Clark loves Tobias that way and Tobias loves him like he truly is his father, because in Tobias' mind there could be no better father in this world than Clark.

My dad gets up and wraps his arms around his friend as we all watch the man fall apart. He cries and mutters incoherent words that are like little knives cutting into my flesh. I can't hear him anymore. He is making me sick. I want to get out of here. I need to be with Tobias.

I walk to his room and knock on the door. There is no answer. I grab the doorknob and unlock the door. I enter the dimly lit room and look to my left where his bed is and he is lying in it. The air in the room is stale, the occasional smell of disinfectant tickling my nose. I look toward Evelyn. Her head is lying down on his bed, right next to his body. His right hand firmly grasped in hers as she continues sobbing and murmuring how much she loves him. She either hasn't heard me enter or ignores my presence.

I look him over as best I can. He doesn't seem to be very injured. There are some black spots on his face, right under his left eye and a split lip, his left bicep is covered in bandages and I can only guess his leg as well. I guess that's normal when you get T-boned on the driver's side.

He looks so peaceful, like he has a dreamless sleep, unaware of the reality the rest of us are living. He looks so handsome even bruised up. His lips are slightly parted and I remember the last time I kissed them. They were so soft and moist and deliciously sweet. I could spend the rest of my life kissing those lips. I look for a sign to see if he will wake up, but there is none.

I slowly get closer to his bed and Evelyn must have heard me. She lifts her head and turns it slightly to see who it is. She stares at me and I realize I'm crying. The look she gives me tears through my heart. I must wear a similar one since she stands up and comes closer to where I stand. She wraps her arms around me and we both cry on the other's shoulder.

The pain I feel in this moment is indescribable. I only felt it one other time before, but then I called Tobias to come hold me. Now I can't, because he is lying down in this hospital bed. I feel Evelyn slowly letting go of me and walk into the small en-suite bathroom. My eyes never leave Tobias. I'm afraid that if I look away, even blink, he might disappear forever and I can't bear that thought.

I walk forward to his bed tracing the edge of it with my fingertips until they finally reach his hand. I gently wrap my small hand around his large one. It's warm, mostly because Evelyn held it so tightly and kept rubbing it.

I find myself lying down next to him as best as I can. My head rests on his shoulder while his right hand is pulled up to my chest where my heart is beating for him and I talk to him in a hushed voice, as if telling him a secret. But there are no secrets between him and me. He knows me and I know him. The only thing I whisper is a promise that is true today and will be true every day henceforth: I love you.

I caress his face.

I hold his hand in mine.

I kiss his lips.

But I don't say goodbye.

This is not the end for us, my love.


	30. Right Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Mandatory for this chapter: "Right Here" by Ashes Remain, as well as for chapter 32.

Tris' POV

It is a lovely October day. It's unusually warm and sunny for this time of the year. The only thing indicating it is fall is the colorful leaf carpet on the ground. The colors are still vibrant as if they are still attached to the twigs and branches of the trees.

If it weren't for the ceremony and the place this would be the perfect day for a picnic.

Our first date was a picnic. We had so much fun. I was nervous but each time I looked into Tobias' eyes I calmed down. I felt like I knew him, even though we just met. His eyes were always so warm and comforting. He was the balm that my heart needed. And I tried to be the same for him. I can't imagine what he went through as a child and my heart aches that I was never able to take some of his pain away. But I vowed that each time we would be together I would make him happy. Replace every bad memory with a happy one.

I thought I had enough time to do that.

But time was stolen from us.

I don't pay attention to what Uncle Joe says. I'm certain it's a beautiful speech about Tobias and what a wonderful person he was.

They asked me to say something, but I am not sure I can. I haven't spoken since the hospital, since I whispered my love to him.

When Caleb came home and told me that Tobias had an accident I felt the earth move and swallow me, just like it did in my dream. I cried on the way to the hospital that I thought I might dehydrate myself. I didn't even know the human body could produce so many tears.

I knew before they told me. It was like my heart was beating, but it was out of sync. How else would it be? Its counterpart stopped dancing that rhythmic dance of love and mine got confused. I stopped breathing when they uttered the words I dreaded the most.

I don't know what to do anymore. I cocooned myself in my room and played that mixed CD Tobias gave me over and over again, as if the songs could bring him back, but they can't. He is gone. He left me. And I will never be whole again. He had my heart and now it's gone. Even if I wanted to give it to anyone else I wouldn't be able to. It belonged to him and him alone. And now they are both gone.

I think I listened to his favorite song a hundred times. I know every note, every lyric, every pain behind each verse. It is still ringing in my ears while he is lowered to rest in the ground. I wait for everyone to leave and by some miracle no one comes to me, not even my parents.

"I can see every tear you've cried, like an ocean in your eyes. All the pain and the scars have left you cold. I can see all the fears you face, through a storm that never goes away. Don't believe all the lies that you've been told." I'm a terrible singer, but it feels right to sing his favorite song to him. After all, he sang it to me. "I'll be right here now, to hold you when the sky falls down. I will always be the One who took your place. When the rain falls I won't let go. I'll be right here." I can't take this pain any longer. I kneel down, trying to be as close as I can to him. "I will show you the way back home, never leave you all alone. I will stay until the morning comes. I'll show you how to live again and heal the brokenness within. Let me love you when you come undone." I'm sobbing. I can't hear a thing, my wailing is preventing it. I can hardly breathe, my lungs are on fire and my skin burns. I feel like my whole body is craving to touch him wherever he might be, because down there in that casket is only his body. Tobias isn't here anymore and he will never come back and I don't know how to fix that, how to fix my empty soul. How can I tell my soul that its mate is gone? It's impossible.

I am fully lying down on the ground crying so hard I think I won't be able to stand again. I want Tobias, I want him back. Whole and happy and with that crooked smile plastered on his face, those deep dark blue eyes staring back at me, those full lips pressing gently but firm against mine, his hard body wrapped around mine, shielding me from the outside world like it's a bombing shelter.

But my shelter is gone. The bombs got it. It's destroyed and I don't know where to go or what to do. I feel like I'm a ship in the middle of the ocean that is drifting further and further away, leaving land far behind.

How can I ever heal this wound? How will I ever find my heart again?

Why him, God? You could have taken me dozens of times, but you didn't. Why him? He deserved to live and be happy. He had this awful childhood; he deserved a long, happy life. I would have done anything and everything to make him happy.

He was so full of life, enjoying it and making me see the good parts. He was my anchor when I was so willing to give up. He is the only one who knew all my troubles and fears and he was the only one who casted these demons out of my life. How will I ever survive without him?

Why did you have to put him on my path, Lord? To mock me? To hurt me? To destroy the little bit of faith I had in you? Why?

"Bee, sweetheart, let's go home," I hear my father whisper. His voice is sad and hurt, but it fades in comparison to the pain I feel.

"I don't want to. I want to stay here, with him," I say stubbornly.

"Sweetheart, it's been hours, it's getting dark. I don't want you to get sick," he says gently.

"I don't care. I want to stay here with him, be with him," I say and new tears find their way into my eyes.

"Sweetheart, don't say that," dad says softly, but I can hear his own despair, but it's because of me. I look into his eyes through the veil of tears and can't hold the one sentence back that I've been thinking of for all this time.

"I want to die," I say. I look down, but I can tell by the sharp intake of air, that I scared my father. He doesn't say anything else after that. He picks me up and I let him unable to fight it anymore. I'm too weak to even talk, let alone move. He carries me to our car and I fall apart once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Dare I ask for your thoughts?


	31. Awakening

Scott's POV

It's been over two months since Four died in that tragic car accident. Tris is destroyed beyond repair. Her father called me two weeks after the funeral because he was so worried about her. She spent every waking hour sitting in the cemetery at his tomb talking to him like he was still there. Andrew thought she was going insane. When she wasn't in the cemetery she would be at home in her room listening to the CD he gave her wearing his clothes.

She barely speaks to anyone, eats only when someone forces it down her throat. She cries herself to sleep and when she wakes up she cries some more. I've never seen her like this. I'm scared for her.

Andrew thought it would be a good idea for me to come, since we have such a great relationship. I always managed to cheer her up, even after Everest, but this is different. Tris systematically tries to kill herself. She doesn't pick up a razor blade to slit her wrists and she doesn't take pills or drinks herself into a coma. She just gave up. She gave up on living.

I know that everyone thought and maybe still thinks that she will eventually get over it, that Four was her first love and while she will always remember him she will love again. But if my talks with her are even remotely close to the truth, they are all wrong. Tris loved Four more than anything. She still loves him and I don't think she will ever stop. The way she talked about him made me realize that. She was never too girly; she has no clue how to exaggerate things. She didn't write her name next to his in a notebook or drew little hearts or all that other crap girls do when they have a crush. No, she was realistic, like she always is. She took the relationship seriously. She didn't talk about him like the boy she likes, but the man she loves, like her partner in everything, good or bad. Four was for her more than her first love. I'm afraid to say he was the only love she will ever allow in her life. Tris is unique this way. When she gives, she gives completely and when she gave her heart to that boy she gave it to him forever and now he's gone and she is lost without him.

I tried to engage her in conversation as best as I could but she wouldn't talk. The once never shutting-up-smart-mouth was silenced by an immense grief. I don't think her parents understand that. Then again, they never understood her to begin with. But he did, Four did. I do too, but he was her soul mate. I always joked around telling her that her teenage love affair is sickening me, but truth be told I envied her a little. I wish I could find some day what she had with him, even if it would rip me apart, like it does to her. I experienced firsthand how fierce and unshakably Tris loves and to be put through all this must be eating her alive.

Her parents were desperate, especially after Tris told her dad that she wants to die right after the funeral. He panicked and called me, fearing that she might do something to actually end it. I can't blame her. It hurts me so much to watch her like this. No wonder she craves release.

Natalie and Andrew encouraged me to talk more about mountains with Tris. They thought if I get her to come out of her shell she might get back to her old self. I sincerely doubt that, but I can't blame them for trying.

It took me nearly a month to get her to talk to me. She always avoided me, which was a feat in itself, since Natalie and Andrew invited me to stay at their house. Obviously, to both keep an eye on Tris and make her react in some, even small, way. My efforts however were fruitless until one morning when she came into my room out of nowhere and announced that she wants to climb Aconcagua. She left as soon as she said it and I found her a couple of hours later at Four's tomb. She was telling him that she would climb her fifth summit, to honor him. I smiled to myself. She finally reacted and I was happy about that.

But even though she started talking she still wasn't her old self. We started training right after she came to me and told me she wants to climb again. We went running every morning and on weekends we went hiking. We both knew she wouldn't be ready to climb Aconcagua in December, so we made reservations for January, right after the holidays.

While she started to open up to me she still keeps her distance from anyone else. She avoids her friends; she only speaks to her family when absolutely necessary. Her mom suggested she should see a shrink, but I doubt that will help. But to my surprise Tris agreed, under the condition that she would start therapy after she returns from the mountain. Her parents immediately agreed, seeing that as a won a battle.

Natalie hoped that Christmas would cheer Tris up; after all it is her favorite time of the year. I've noticed that she smiles more often, but the smiles don't reach her eyes. Her parents however see that as a good sign. She even started talking to them more and more and when she told me she wanted all her friends gathered to say goodbye before we leave for Argentina I was more than a little surprised, but I was also happy that she started socializing again.

Her parents invited all her friends and as per Tris' request Four's parents and sister. It wasn't a party, more of a get together and we talked. Well, they talked mostly. I kept my distance since I don't really know these kids and because the whole point was for Tris to rekindle her relationship with them. Four's parents didn't stay long and I don't think anyone could blame them. They just lost their son and seeing how his girlfriend is moving on must be hard. Tris hugged both of them and I think I heard her say that she loves them and that they mean a great deal to her. After they said goodbye they left and Tris went on to each of her friends making small talk, hugging them and saying goodbye.

The more I watched her that evening before we left for Argentina the more I started feeling weird. It almost seemed to me like she was saying goodbye for good, like she wasn't planning on going back. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I think I'll ask her.

"You ready, Icy Tris?" I ask her as we get ready to start our final ascend. We've been on the mountain for two days, taking literally baby steps. We could be a lot faster but as per Tris' wish she wants to enjoy the mountain and get reconnected with nature. I couldn't find it in me to decline it. For the first time in over ten weeks Tris seems like her old self again. Maybe Andrew and Natalie were right and all she needed was a mountain to climb. I'm glad.

"Of course I am," she says smiling, but the smile still doesn't reach her eyes.

We decided to climb alone, no group or anything. We are both experienced and Aconcagua isn't nearly as demanding as Everest or Denali. We walk side by side in complete silence until I can't take it anymore. This question has been eating me since before we left the States.

"Tris?"

"Yeah?"

"I have to ask you something," I say with caution. She stops and looks at me with a curious expression on her face. She nods her head indicating for me to continue. "When we were back in the States, at that get together with your friends and family, you said goodbye to all of them," I say.

"Yeah. So?" she asks clearly confused.

"It seemed to me like you were saying goodbye for a lot longer than we said we would be gone," I say apprehensive. She looks at me directly in the eyes. She doesn't say anything for a while, but turns on her heels and continues her climb. Several minutes pass until she finally speaks up.

"I'm not planning to go back," she says in an almost hushed voice.

"What?" I ask, unsure I heard her right.

"I'm not planning on returning right away. After Aconcagua I want to go hiking somewhere or do something fun," she says without looking at me. I'm taken aback. That was the last thing I expected. I really thought that after climbing this mountain she would want to go back home. I honestly don't know how I feel about this, so I keep my mouth shut for now.

As we climb the mountain on this sunny January morning I think back on all the years I've known Tris Prior. She was always so strong and determined and an inspiration to everyone who ever knew her. Seeing this side of her, this vulnerable and broken Tris, makes my heart ache and wonder if she will ever be Ice Mountain Tris again. I don't care what everyone else thinks or what show she puts on for her family and friends. This isn't her. This is not the Tris I knew. This is a shell that just pretends to be whole. I wonder if she'll ever be whole again. I hope so. She deserves it.


	32. Conquering myself

Tris' POV

Scott's question took me by surprise. I didn't think that me saying goodbye to my friends and family would cause him to think something's up. But I wanted, no, I needed to say goodbye to them. I couldn't leave without saying goodbye. At least they will all have one good memory of me. I still need to find a way to say goodbye to Scott without him noticing.

We barely speak during our climb, just the occasional "how far until camp?" question comes up or "how about a snack?" or "who would win in a death match between Iron Man and Wolverine?" It's nice to have this casual talk with Scott. We always connected even without many words. He understands me and I him and we both know when to shut the fuck up and leave the other be. It is nice to have him here with me. I think it's fitting. Other than Tobias, Scott is my best friend, but even he can't comprehend my pain. I hope he won't resent me for what I'm about to do and instead remember me the way I was back in the day, before Tobias.

There's no denying it. Tobias changed me. It's not an unwelcome change, it just made me more vulnerable and I hate it a little bit. I always tried my hardest to be strong, confident and ready for everything. But no one told me how my life would be after I found my soul mate and lost him. I know I'm pathetic for even thinking it, but I just can't live like this. Not without him. I know my parents will be very upset about this, but I choose Tobias. I want and need to be with him, wherever he is. He always thought I was strong, but I'm not. I'm a coward, I know that. But I don't care. I want to be with him and this is the only way.

We settle for the night and I realize it is now or never. At this point there are three possible ways up the mountain. Before we left the hotel I wrote a letter to Scott explaining everything and left letters for my loved ones as well. I stuffed it all deep down in his rucksack where he won't find them until we are separated. I also wrote a small note saying I woke up early and decided to trek for a while on my own; he can catch up with me later. This way he won't think something's up and decide on another route.

We sit next to each other reminiscing past expeditions. We laugh, we joke, we keep it simple. That's who we are. We both hate talking about deep stuff and only do it when we really need to. I try to get a couple of hours of sleep before I make my way up the mountain. I set my phone on vibrate to wake me just passed midnight.

I slowly pull out the note out of my jacket and place it near Scott's sleeping frame. I manage to grab my rucksack and get out of our tent closing it carefully without waking my friend.

"Stay safe, my friend. I love you," I say to him as I leave the camp site heading up the mountain, taking the alternative route I planned for.

It is pitch black outside, the stars above do little to illuminate the way, but I have my flashlight attached on my head providing enough light to allow me walking slowly. The night is freezing cold, but I don't care. I didn't come here in search of tropical weather. I came here to stay. I came here to find Tobias again.

I take small steps toward the summit relishing the feeling of being back on a mountain. I have really missed this, more than I thought possible. The months I have spent put weren't as bad as I thought at first. When my parents told me right after Everest that I wasn't allowed to climb for a whole year I was mad at them. I know that they only did what they did to keep me safe and I can't blame them for being protective and worried about me. They are my parents after all and if not them then who will worry about me? The thought of them makes me sad. I'm leaving them behind like I'm leaving everyone else. But I need to do this. I feel like I'm suffocating on this Earth without my soul mate. If it weren't for him I would still be a mess, I'm sure of it. Yes, Scott and Matt cheered me up when they came to visit me during the camp period, but it was only after Tobias and I started talking to each other and opening up to one another that I really felt like my life is being put back together. It is because of him that the wound caused by my friends' death started healing. But with his absence it tore open again and is now bleeding more than ever. That wound, however, is nothing compared to the one Tobias' demise did to me.

From the moment I learned of his accident to the very last second of his funeral I felt a disease spread through my body, a cancer that had neither cure nor treatment and only caused me pain and suffering. There was nothing anyone could do or say to me to convince me otherwise. The only person who could take some of it away was gone.

I put one foot in front of the other and continue my last journey. I smile to myself. Somehow, despite everything, I am glad I met Tobias Eaton. He was my first love, my only love and he gave me more than he could ever imagine. It amuses me to think that he was actually jealous of Scott, when he was and still is my everything. He picked me up when I was down, he gave me courage when I was afraid, he made me laugh when I cried and he held me close to his beating heart when I couldn't hold the tears of sadness back. He was my rock in the storm that was my life after Everest. Bad things can happen and bad things happened to me on mountains, things that only he knew about and even without being a climber himself, he understood. Or perhaps he understood me in a way I couldn't understand myself. He was the balm to my pain and as much as I tried I feel like I failed him when I couldn't do more to make his life better. Maybe there's a second chance for us beyond this life. Maybe we will find each other again. I don't know. I hope there is.

For some reason Tobias' favorite song burrowed its way into my head and is seemingly on repeat because ever since he died it's the only song I've listened to and kept repeating in my head. I have a terrible singing voice but I'm alone and I want this to be the last thing I do before I join Tobias wherever he is.

"I can see every tear you've cried, like an ocean in your eyes. All the pain and the scars have left you cold. I can see all the fears you face, through a storm that never goes away. Don't believe all the lies that you've been told." I so wish that all that happened these past two months were lies and that Tobias was still alive, waiting for me to return in triumph after I conquer my fifth summit. But he isn't. I think of the lyrics. I often thought of them actually. I can see why he included it on the CD and why he liked it so much. It's like the singer is singing our story, Tobias' story. He was the one who knew every last of my secrets and fears. He helped me face them and conquer them over and over again. And for a long time I was cold, empty. But then one day this beautiful boy looked me in the eyes and saw more than just the broken girl. He saw beyond her.

When he asked me out I honestly thought that he was joking or that his friends convinced him to ask me out as part of a bet. But when I looked into his eyes they were honest and anxious all at the same time.

Our first date was the most perfect date in history. He was so sweet and caring and made sure that I would feel comfortable. He shared his life with me and I eventually did the same. I never thought I would ever trust anyone so much to open up completely, leaving myself vulnerable and weak. But he didn't see that. He saw a strength that I didn't know was mine and each time he held me or kissed me or just looked into my eyes I felt myself getting stronger. He's the reason why I didn't succumb to the desperation, the pain and the hopelessness. He gave me that strength and he would have kept on giving it if not for that fateful day in October.

Tobias came into my life unexpected and that's how he left. He came, he conquered, he changed me forever. I am absolutely certain there will never be another like him. There will never be a second person to mark me in the way he did. He did more than love me. He made me rise from a dark place I had fallen into and showed me the way back to life, back to what it means to live and love. I am so grateful that I met him, I am so happy that I was allowed to love him, I am so glad that he loved me back and there is no way he could have loved me better than he did, because he did it perfectly and completely. He accepted me with all my flaws, with all the scars, with all the pain of yesteryears, with all the demons inside my mind and heart. He loved me fiercely and with devotion and that is something no one can buy or rent or find at every corner. It's something you can only receive from someone who truly loves you for you and wouldn't change you for anything in this world. But this is how I loved him.

He was willing to take his pain and transform it into strength. He told me that he kept himself holed up for far too long and decided that it was time to speak about his childhood. He already found a psychologist to talk to. He was determined to become a better man, to bury his past and look forward. To forgive his father for all the pain he caused and forget a dark chapter in his life. There was too much good in his life to stain it with such bad memories.

I always admired his positive thinking, his way of finding a ray of light even in the darkness of the night. He was that kind of person who saw the glass half full instead of half empty and he showed me how to do the same.

I sit down on a large rock. I walked for too long and I'm exhausted. I pull out my water bottle and drink a generous amount before putting it back into my rucksack. It's strange. For the first time since his death I think of him as if he is still here. I don't burst into tears and wail, but instead I remember all the good things we went through, every memory positive and encouraging, filled with love and hope. I pull out my phone and turn it on, the picture with him and me on the picnic blanket staring back at me.

"I miss you so much, Tobias. Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave me alone?" I ask out loud as if he could hear me.

"I'm still with you," I hear his voice. I look up, hoping that what I heard wasn't imagined, but I'm alone. My mind must be playing tricks on me. "I will always be with you," I hear his voice again.

"Tobias?" I ask.

"You can do this. You can conquer yourself. I believe in you. This isn't your last summit. The highest is still out there," his voice says in my head. Am I hallucinating? I must be. He is dead. What higher summit? Everest is the highest in the world. "You are your own summit," the voice says and all the memories of him encouraging me flood into my mind. Every tear I've cried and he wiped away, every fear I faced and he held my hand, every kiss we shared, every look, every caress, every touch, every word; everything.

He taught me to live again. He showed me there is more to life than we think. He showed me that there is always a way even when you can't see it yourself.

"Conquer myself," I repeat and smile a little.

I was so focused on what I wanted that I disregarded what he wanted. He always wanted me to come home, be safe, be alive. He made me live again when I gave up all hope and almost let the depression consume me. Is this how I'm repaying him?

A bright light blinds me. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to adjust to the brightness opening them slowly. Sunrise. I must have fallen asleep or maybe I walked for a lot longer than I thought. Sunrise. I've never seen a more beautiful sunrise. The colors are bright – orange, red and yellow, chasing the dark blue of the night away, a promise of a new tomorrow, of renewal.

"I like spring," he said to me.

"Why?" I asked him.

"I guess, because it means renewal. No matter what happened the year before in spring you can start over again," he replied.

This conversation seems so long ago, but I remember each word as if he just spoke them to me.

"Stand up, Tris. Conquer your own summit."

I will, Tobias, I will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And the grand finale coming soon. Stay with me for the final two chapters. 
> 
> Do you think Tobias should have survived the car accident? Or do you like the story better this way?


	33. Future plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If you liked the story so far and are okay with how it ended in chapter 32 don't read further. If not, here's what happens next. My original story "The Highest Summit" ends with chapter 32. My personal opinion, I made the right call killing off the main male character. Tris or in my original story Bobbi needed to learn to survive on her own. Tobias or Sam in the original version gave her all the tools to survive. He showed her the way; she just needed to continue. I know it might sound cruel, but that's how life is. I'm standing by my story line and characters, but since this is a rewritten version to fit the Divergent characters you can all put your weapons down now. No need to slaughter me. :)

Tris' POV

"Tris, please baby, wake up," I hear someone speak to me, but I can't make out who it is. "Why won't she wake up?" the voice asks.

"She went into shock," another voice answers the first.

"What can we do?" a third voice asks.

"After she had her breakdown we had to sedate her. Her body shut down and forced itself into a comatose state. The news of the accident overwhelmed her and by what you told me about her mental health it is my professional opinion that her mind needs to work things out on its own terms," the second voice answers.

Who are these people? Why can't I recognize them? Where am I? I was just on the mountain. I just decided to live on, for Tobias. I promised him that I will. Why can't I move?

"How long do you think it'll take until she wakes up? It's been almost two days already," the third voice says. I think it's a woman. Who is this? Where am I? Why can't I move or open my eyes?

"It's difficult to say. Based on our tests your daughter seems to deal with the situation subconsciously. I can't really tell you when she'll wake up," the second voice says.

"Beatrice, sweetheart, please wake up," I hear my mother's voice. I can hear her clearly now. It's mom. The female voice belonged to her. What is she doing here? How did she get to Argentina so fast? And how is it that I'm lying here in a coma? Is this a dream?

"Perhaps the young man should talk to her. After all he is the reason why she's in this state in the first place," the second voice says. Maybe he's a doctor, but he doesn't seem to have an accent. He seems American.

"You think she'll hear me?" the first voice asks. That's impossible. It can't be.

"Studies show that people in comas, regardless of how they came to be comatose, perceive us. It wouldn't hurt to try and talk to her," the second voice says and I hear a door open and close.

"I'll leave you with her. Call if anything changes," I hear mom say and then I assume she leaves the room, leaving me alone with… Tobias.

It can't be him. He died two months ago. I must be hallucinating. Maybe I fell asleep on the mountain after all and this is limbo or something. Or maybe my mind is playing a cruel trick on me. He can't be here. I just came to terms with him being gone. If this is God's way of punishing me for trying to commit suicide then he really sucks.

"Tris, baby, please wake up," Tobias says.

I'm afraid. I'm literally petrified. I can't move, I can't open my eyes, I can't speak. I want to know if he is really here or if I'm just imagining it, but at the same time I'm afraid to open my eyes and see that it was all a dream or a hallucination or maybe I'm drugged or whatever other reason.

"Please, sweetheart, I need you," he pleads and I can hear the desperation in his voice. Something cold and wet hits the skin of my right hand and I can only assume it's a tear. It feels real. But if this is real, what happened to the two months when I thought he was dead? Was that a dream? Or rather a nightmare? Was that really just that? Or is this the dream or wishful thinking? I don't know what is real or not anymore.

I force my eyes open but they don't move at all. I feel how Tobias, or whoever is in the room with me, takes my hand and guides it to his mouth and kisses it gently. He kisses every knuckle and then leans it against his cheek.

"Please, wake up. Don't leave me, Tris," he pleads and I hear him crying. Oh God, I need to open my eyes. I need to see for myself if this is really Tobias, my Tobias. Open, you stupid eyes. Open and let me see if the love of my life is really here with me.

I force them open again and it feels like they are heavy like lead and the moment light penetrates them they start burning as if I would look straight into the sun without sunglasses. I blink several times and tears gather in my eyes. It's still difficult for me to see anything but I manage to turn my head to my right where I know the person, hopefully Tobias, sits down next to my hospital bed. I look through teary eyes at the figure and at first he is just a shadow. I blink again and the image becomes clearer. It's definitely a man, but is he really Tobias? I blink again and the image is clear enough to recognize someone, a man, dressed in a hospital gown. His left arm is in a cast and his head is wrapped in bandages. His head is bowed on my bed, still holding my hand in his. I want to lift my other hand to caress his brown locks, but I stop mid-air, afraid he might disappear once I touch him. I'm so scared that I stopped breathing. An alarm goes off and startles him. He immediately looks up at me and our eyes lock. I stare at him in disbelief. Is he real?

"Tris," he says my name as a whisper and I let out the breath I was holding. The alarm stops and we stare at each other. He has a black eye on his left side, he is bruised, his lip is split but his intense gaze is as penetrating as I remember it. He smiles a little but doesn't break eye contact. I reach out my hand and touch his face on the right side where he looks to be fine. His dark blue eyes look into mine and the more I keep my palm against his warm cheek, the wider I smile. He is really here. I'm not dreaming or hallucinating. He is really here. He is alive.

"Tobias," I say, my voice hoarse and foreign to me.

"Tris," he says gently. He bends forward and connects our lips in a love filled kiss. He lingers but I don't mind. I wrap my hand around his neck to keep him close. Oh, how I've craved his touch. How I missed his hot breath against my skin. How I missed his unmistakable masculine scent that always made me feel safe and protected. How I missed his soft lips that always made me feel loved and worshiped. How I missed every inch of him, every fiber and every cell.

"You're alive," I whisper when he pulls back slightly to look at me again. He smiles a little and moves the hand he is still holding toward his fast beating heart showing me how much alive he is.

"Yes. You scared me," he says serious and sits back down on his chair.

"You scared me. I thought you were dead," I say and tears that I somehow managed to hold back are now rolling down my cheeks. He reaches out and wipes them away while I lean into his touch. He smiles warmly at me.

"I'm not. I was hit pretty bad, but my truck saved my life. I swear, babe, I'll never drive anything other than a Ford," he says with a chuckle. "Those suckers are lifesavers," he jokes, but I can't laugh. I thought I lost him. "Honey, I'm alright. I'm fine. I swear," he says serious again. He kisses my hand one more time before he gets up. I almost say that he should stay here, when he walks around my bed and lies down next to me, minding his injured arm. He wraps his other arm around me and I relish in the feeling of being once again in his arms.

"I thought I'd lost you," I say and I feel myself tear up again.

"I know you did. When you got here they just rolled me into the OR and you had a nervous breakdown. They had to sedate you, but then you didn't wake up. After I woke up from my surgery I asked them to roll my bed into your room so that I would be there when you wake up. It wasn't really hard to convince them, since the doctor who took care of you thought it would be best," he says and kisses my head.

"What day is today?" I ask.

"October 23rd," he answers. "You were out for almost two days. You really started to worry me," he says and pulls me closer to him. "The doctor said that sometimes people who have breakdowns like yours and end up in comas often stay that way for a long time, even years," he explains. I didn't know that. I truly believed that everything was real. Not for one second did I imagine it all happened in my head, although I often wished it did. I remember each tear, each sob, each moment of complete and utter despair. I don't ever want to feel that way again. "I thought I would lose you."

"I lost you," I finally say. "I had a nightmare, but one unlike any other before. I dreamed you died and I couldn't handle it," I say but don't tell him about my plan of killing myself. He would be so disappointed in me if he'd know. I wrap my arms around his middle section and cry into his chest.

"Don't cry, baby. I'm here, we both are. I love you so much, Tris," he says to me.

"I love you too," I say sobbing.

We remain like this for a long while, him holding me, me shedding some more tears. Eventually, he gets up and calls the doctor and my parents. The doctor examines me and tells me that I should stay at the hospital overnight, just to be on the safe side. My parents hug me tightly and stay with me for a long time even after visiting hours. Clark is good friends with the hospital director and under the condition that no one would make a fuss, he allowed my parents, as well as Tobias' and his sister and my brother to stay with both of us a while longer. They told me all that happened while I was out and the more I listened the more afraid I got that this wasn't real. That I might fall asleep and when I wake up he'll be gone and I'm all alone again. After our families finally say goodbye for the night Tobias and I lie down in our beds. Dad and Clark pushed them close together so that we could be right next to each other. Dad joked that he hoped that we wouldn't see this as an encouragement to do grown up stuff, minding that Tobias' little sister was in earshot. We laughed and promised we would behave.

"I'm so happy you are awake again," he says as he lies on his right side and stares at me.

"I'm happy you are alive," I say.

"Don't worry, baby," he says. "I'm here and I won't leave you. I promise," he vows.

We fall asleep and I don't seem to have any dream whatsoever. I wake the next morning and feel a body close to mine. I'm lying on my right side and feel a hot breath on my neck. I turn my head slightly and see Tobias has migrated from his hospital bed into mine and holds me close to his body. I've missed it so much being this close to him, lying in his arms. He presses his face into my neck and his stubble tickles me. I let out a giggle and he stirs.

"I love that sound," he says.

"Sorry for waking you up," I say bashful.

"Don't be. I love waking up with you in my arms," he says. I turn around to face him and press a closed mouth kiss to his lips.

"It still feels surreal to me," I confess.

"Tris, I'm here, I'm alive, nothing will ever keep me away from you, you hear me?" he asks. I nod slightly. "I love you with all my heart. While you were unconscious I went through all kinds of scenarios in my head and each that didn't involve you wasn't worth thinking of any longer. I love you and I'll always love you. I promise you that one day, when we're both ready, I'll come to you, kneel down, look at you in awe like I always do, pull out a small velvet box, open it, show you a beautiful diamond ring and ask you to marry me. You will say yes, because I can't fathom it otherwise," he says with a chuckle. "We'll have a family, we'll go hiking and mountain climbing with our kids, we will teach them everything we know and do our best to make good people out of them. But until then let me love you as innocently or as passionately as possible. Let me show you how much you mean to me, let me," he doesn't get to continue because I crash my mouth over his, mating it in a scorching kiss with mine, pouring all my love for him into it. I don't care about a ring or a proposal or anything other than him. All I ever want or need is him.

"I love you so much, Tobias," I say breathless as we rest our foreheads against each other.

"I love you too, Tris."


	34. My highest summit

Epilogue

Ten years later.

Tobias' POV

"Savanah, honey, what are you doing?" I ask my five year old daughter.

"Milo threw my ball up into the tree house, daddy," she says as she expertly climbs it. When I first saw her climbing a tree when she was three and a half years old I almost had a heart attack watching her. Tris grabbed my hand and told me to relax. I remember I looked at her incredulous as she cradled our newborn son to her chest to calm him down. She told me to let Savanah do it, but stay close in case she would fall. Reluctantly, I did as she asked. I knew that Savanah, being her mother's daughter, would eventually find a way to climb it even without me or Tris there. It was better to make sure she learned how to do it properly and more importantly safely while I watched over her. Thankfully, she didn't fall and is now very good at it. I barely panic anymore. Barely.

"Did not," Milo says right next to me.

"Did to," Savanah replies as she drops her ball to the ground.

"I guess we'll have another soccer player in the family," Tris says as she joins us in our backyard.

"You look beautiful," I tell her and walk to her, embracing her and kissing her softly. We don't want to get too carried away.

"You don't look so bad yourself," she says. "Excited to see all your high school friends again?" she asks teasingly.

My true friends remained my friends over the years, regardless of where we ended up to live. But now that she asked I do feel a little anxious.

I see Zeke often. He started working part time at a real estate agency when we started college and a couple of years ago opened up his own. He is very successful and he has some of the highest ratings in town as well as some awesome reviews in real estate orientated magazines. Shauna decided to study architecture. She was always very smart and creative and is now a junior partner in one of the best firms in the country. Thankfully, she didn't have to move away and six years ago she and Zeke got married. They have a three year old daughter, named Ava and Milo seems to have a crush on her or whatever the toddler equivalent for that is.

Caleb studied medicine and is now a doctor in New York. We don't see my brother in law as often as we liked, but we talk over the phone often or via Skype. He is now engaged and will get married next summer to one of his colleagues.

Uriah moved to San Francisco. He actually followed Marlene who became a literary agent. They had a strange on again off again relationship, but in the end they surprised us when they eloped two years ago and told us over Thanksgiving when Tris and I invited everybody over for dinner.

Lynn became a mountaineer and is now organizing all kinds of expeditions, from simple hiking trips to really rough climbs. She is happy and that's all that matters.

Will and Christina broke up for a while, when she went to Los Angeles to pursue an acting career, but she soon got bored and decided to study interior design. She often works together either with Zeke or Shauna and she loves it. Will, who works at a bank, proposed to her after they rekindled their relationship three years ago. They got married the following year and are now expecting their first child.

Matt and Tori got married eight years ago and moved to Salt Lake City. They stay in touch with us on the phone or via Skype, just like Caleb, but it's not the same. Over the years I really started caring a lot for both of them and I'm happy whenever they come to town. They have twin boys, Mike and Josh, who just turned six last month.

Scott sometimes drops by, usually unannounced. I still hate it sometimes that he hangs with my wife, but I love and trust her and despite his flirtatious way he never once hit on her. Two years ago he got married and now he and his wife expect their first child.

Amar and George finally got married three years ago and adopted a Chinese girl, Lin. She is two years old and both my kids love her. We have to watch them because those three, despite being so young, are already troublemakers.

Rose is a teenager and a real pain for my parents. She started dating when she was fourteen, which dad didn't like. I told him that she is a young lady now but he only said my daughter's name and I shut up. The sole thought of my little girl dating upsets my stomach. Mom has her own difficulties with Rose. They are both stubborn and both very verbal about their opinions. Dad often had to play referee between them or had to call me. Sometimes Rose would come over after a fight she had with mom. Mom was upset at first but I told her better keep her with me, Tris and the kids, than her hanging with some dubious characters we don't know about. Rose is a good kid and mom and dad did a great job teaching her, teaching us both, right from wrong, but as a brother I want her safe; I understand her, I was in her shoes once, but now, that I'm married and have my own kids I get where mom and dad are coming from. They often told me that I'll see what it means to be a parent once I become a dad. I basically started worrying from the moment Tris told me about Savanah. Haven't stopped since.

"Mommy, when we going to grandpa?" Milo, our youngest, asks.

"In a minute. Savanah, come down this instant. Mommy and daddy need to go and grandma and grandpa are waiting for you," Tris says. Savanah immediately climbs down and it still amazes me how natural it comes to her. Like mother, like daughter I guess. Our kids might look more like me on the outside, but they are definitely just like Tris on the inside: brave, adventurous, curious, carefree. I love them, them and their beautiful mother who gave them to me.

The drive to my in laws isn't too long. We found a beautiful house, thanks to Zeke, in a quite area, where the kids can play outside without us worrying too much. It's close to the big city, but it offers us privacy and a lot more security than an apartment ever could.

We drop them off, but unfortunately we can't hang around much, since we have to go to my high school reunion. Mom and dad dropped by to see the kids, since Rose went to a friend's house for a sleepover. Neither of the grandparents can get enough of the youngest members of our family and I'm happy the kids enjoy spending time with them, otherwise I don't think I would ever get any alone time with my wife.

"Nervous, Mrs. Eaton?" I ask Tris.

"Why would I be nervous?" she asks with a chuckle. "It's your reunion not mine. I'm just coming for moral support," she adds.

"No. You're coming so that I can flaunt my beautiful, sexy as hell, smart, funny and loving wife. I always enjoy rubbing it in some schmucks' faces that I got the hottest girl in school."

"You're crazy," she says with a laugh.

"Crazy about you, my love," I say and lift her left hand to my mouth. I kiss her ring finger with her wedding band on it and then place it on my thigh. It often calms me when I can feel her touch. The first few years of our relationship it only turned me on. I often had to stop the car in a parking lot and we ended up making out; or more. But the day Savanah was born I drove us to the hospital and freaked out completely. Tris kept talking to me, but I zoned even her out in my panic. I only snapped out when she put her hand on my thigh and I glanced at her. She smiled at me and I just knew everything would be alright. Not twelve hours later we were parents.

The party is extremely boring; other than for a few people, I wasn't really looking forward to this. But thankfully my friends are all here and more importantly the love of my life is holding my hand tightly in hers. But somehow I can tell she isn't really present. She seems far away. I wonder if she is thinking of climbing again.

It has been years since she climbed. We still go hiking, even with the kids and we even went climbing, but nothing too high. Tris finished her Seven Summits by the time she turned twenty and I'm extremely proud of her, but after the last one she told me she wouldn't go as often anymore. I never told her not to but I was relieved when she decided to stay back home. After that we got married and Savanah came quickly.

It was a surprise. Tris took her pill but she got sick and for a while she had to take some antibiotics. The meds countered the contraceptive effect of the pill and three months later we looked very stunned at the positive pregnancy test. But we couldn't have been happier. Sure it was rough at times, still is, but we manage it. We are both fighters and we live each day we have to the fullest and just enjoy our time together.

My accident ten years ago taught us both to live the moment, because you never know when it'll be your last.

"Didn't I tell you will show me cute pictures of your adorable babies at our high school reunion?" Shauna asks. I laugh. I remember it.

"What can I say? They are adorable," I say with a chuckle as I put my wallet away. "But your little one is a cutie, too. She'll break many hearts," I tell my friends.

"She'll also break some bones. I'll teach her not to let boys come near her," Zeke says serious.

"You will do no such thing," Shauna scolds.

"Babe, my sweet little angel won't date any boy until she's thirty," he says.

"Be realistic, Zeke. She already has admirers. Four's son has his little eye on our Ava," Shauna says and I laugh, but Zeke glares at me.

"I might love the little man, but he better not try to date my daughter," Zeke threatens.

"Zeke, they are practically babies. Calm down," I say still laughing.

"You calm down. What if it were Savanah?" Zeke asks and my laughter immediately subsides.

"Guys, they are kids. None of them can even use the toilet. Will you stop worrying already," Tris says a little exasperated. Okay, something is definitely up with her. We make some small talk and then we dance a little. I always enjoyed dancing with my wife. I hold her close to me and breathe in her scent.

"I'm late," she says.

"What?" I ask her confused but don't let go of her.

"I'm late. I don't know how it happened, but I think I'm pregnant," she says and I stop to move. I still keep her close to me, but I'm unable to move.

"Are you sure?"I ask.

"No. I'm just late. I was so busy these past two months with the kids, them being sick or just meeting up with my agent to talk about the book deal that it just slipped my mind to buy tampons. And when I looked over my grocery list again and saw tampons written down it just dawned on me that I hadn't used them in two months."

"Let's go," I say and pull her towards our table.

"Where?" she asks before we get there.

"Home, but we stop at a drug store first to buy a home pregnancy test," I say. We say goodbye to our friends and promise them to meet up some other time. They just smirk, figuring we want to take advantage of the empty house, which isn't entirely far-fetched.

I drive swiftly, but safely toward the nearest drug store after Tris checked on her phone which one was still open and we both entered it anxiously. Tris grabbed several boxes and also bought some flu medicine for the kids, just in case. She is such a great mom.

The drive home is quiet, but tense. The moment we are at home I unzip her dress and we both walk into our en-suite. She opens all the boxes and prepares herself to pee on the sticks. We aren't really ashamed or anything; besides, we went through this two other times. No matter what, I love her now and forever and if we have another bundle of joy I'm more than happy about it.

The five minutes we are supposed to wait are excruciatingly long. Tris paces around in her black lace lingerie she wore under her dress, while I'm still in my dress pants and white shirt, but I got rid of the tie and unbuttoned the shirt a little. As the clock ticks down I pull my wife into my arms and hold her tightly to me.

"No matter what those tests say, I love you more than anything in the world. But if we have another little mischief on its way that's fine too," I say trying to reassure her. She chuckles and wraps her arms tighter around me. As the timer goes off I let go of her and walk toward the sink where I look over all the sticks.

"And?"

"Well, we have a soccer player and a mountain climber. I wonder what this one will be," I say and turn around. Tris' expression changes from worried to excited and then she lets out a squeal before launching herself in my arms.

"We're having another baby," she says excited. I nod enthusiastically and kiss her passionately.

I carry her into our bedroom and lay her down gently before following her. I crawl up her body, kissing her every now and then until I reach her still flat stomach. I kiss it softly and whisper to my baby how much I already love him or her. I take a moment to admire my beautiful wife. I am so lucky to have her, to have met her and to have fallen in love with her and her with me. The love I feel for her is like a never ending high mountain that I continue to climb for the rest of my days. She is my highest summit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you enjoyed the story and will visit my profile for more FourTris stories. Right now Divergent Guardian is a major multi-chapter project, but I'm also working on a new AU story that I hope will be ready soon. Until next time...
> 
> Kisses and hugs,
> 
> Yours truly,
> 
> CloakSeeker.


End file.
